12 week old baby won't sleep

[Ilovesweets123]

Hi, my daughter is 12 weeks old and since birth has not slept longer than 2 hours in one go. I Co-sleep as that is the only way I will get any sleep. When she dies have a feed in the night she just won't settle so I am up every 20 minutes or so putting my hand on her, or putting her dummy in or doing anything to get her to sleep. She just makes a lot of noise and seems uncomfortable. She is breastfed and I do burp her after every feed. What am I doing wrong?
I have an 18 month old, she was y great at sleeping until she was about 10 months old but she would a5least have a slightly longer period of sleep when first down for the night by now.
What can I do? I literally feel so ill and sick as I am so tired :(

I'm sorry I don't have anything to add but support that I'm in the same boat. DS is also 12 weeks and here I am downstairs with him sitting in the living room in the dark wondering what I've done wrong. Sleeping pattern exactly the same. Shamelessly following and hoping you get some sleep soon.

Hi both,

I know it may sound silly but are they definitely sleeping enough in the day? At that age my daughter was rarely awake for more than an hour, she wouldn't sleep in her bed in the day so I just committed to holding her in my arms or sling during the day so she would get enough sleep and therefore wasn't overtired at night. She did fight the naps a lot, hence me having to use the sling etc. Some days it felt like I was literally feeding her, changing her and straight back to sleep! I would really recommend you don't keep them awake longer than 90 mins max (not saying you are!!). When she got her night sleep "good", I then worked on putting her down in the day.

Other than that I could recommend white noise..

Hope this is a bit helpful. I remember how hard it was with my elder daughter, but you'll get through it super soon x

@deinosavros it's so hard isn't it? I honestly thought it would get better by 12 weeks. It's so difficult when you don't have a long stretch at any point in the night. I currently breastfeed so wonder if that is the problem. I know loads of mums go through it but it seems everyone I know have babies who sleep for at least 4 hours :(

@cheeseandwine2019 thank you for all the tips. I do use a sling to get her to nap in, but maybe I should do it more throughout the day. We use a white noise machine too :)

Hi @cheeseandwine2019 I've definitely started to take more notice of his waking periods during the day, you're right the more they are tired the less they sleep at night!

@Ilovesweets123 To be honest my first two DC were FF and DS is breastfed, it doesn't seem to make a difference, they were all bad sleepers unfortunately! I hope you get a better night tonight.

@Ilovesweets123 I think we were speaking on another post! My son is now also 12 weeks and sleep over here is terrible also! I'm the same, I thought it would be better by now. He sometimes does a couple of hours from 10 ish, but then is up every hour/40 mins or less, just seeming to be uncomfortable. I'm breastfeeding too! The lack of sleep is really taking its toll and I'm finding it hard to look after my toddler in the days too 😴😴😴 x

@laur89 I remember!! I think its so frustrating as you have in your mind that it is going to get better, but they will soon be out of the fourth trimester and things are not looking any better at all :(
Do you think you would try giving a bottle of formula at night? I tried giving a bottle of expressed milk and she hated it :(
Honestly don't know how I am surviving with such little sleep and lockdown :(

@Ilovesweets123 that's literally what I've been thinking, surely now the 4th trimester is over it's going to get better but it just isn't! Also I thought around 3-4 months their digestion was meant to be 'maturing' so less problems in that department, but we're still getting a lot of trapped wind etc and he is still feeding every couple of hours, sometimes even more than that! I won't give formula no, a friend of mine who is also having the same problems with the same age baby has tried that and she said it's made no difference so I don't think it would help! I think it might make his tummy worse introducing something new, but I may be wrong.
It's a killer isn't it with another child and in lockdown too, I'm often just at my wits end and in a complete meltdown 😩😩

Hi, I have DS who is 13 weeks. He’s actually not a bad sleeper but some of you mentioned your DC waking up as though they’re uncomfortable. DS is FF here and we’ve had a lot of wind issues. He often wakes up and seems in pain or uncomfortable. We now give him gripe water with almost every feed and it seems to help get the wind out. Thought I’d just suggest it in case it helps.

Have you considered They may have silent reflux?

@Ilovesweets123 I could have written your post myself 😓 12 week old DS. He’ll sleep 8-10pm ish then feed, then does 20-30 minutes between wakes until 3/4am when he feeds again then he tosses and turns and wriggles around and wakes every 20 mins or so until he’s wide awake at 6/6.30am. I’m absolutely exhausted.
@cheeseandwine2019 Completely agree that day sleep is affecting my little one. If he falls asleep on me in the day and I put him down he lasts 10 minutes and can’t be settled back to sleep. I’ve tried the “wake to sleep” method so that he’s falling asleep where he’ll be sleeping - he lasts 40 minutes every time. It’s as if he just can’t get onto the next sleep cycle 😓 if he falls asleep on me and I leave him there he’d happily sleep all day 🙄

How are things going @Ilovesweets123?

My 5 month old wakes every hour :(

If you've tried with expressed milk - they generally won't take from you if you're BFing. Have you anyone who can feed her with it perhaps late evening so you get some time to sleep? Did that with my second and wished I'd had the advice with eldest!

I had this up until 10 weeks when I was exhausted and having to look after my toddler. He now sleeps 10-5am most nights but I switched to formula. I'm happier, getting more sleep and a better mum all round now