I need a routine for 1 year old dd

[hercules]

Due to visitors, late naps etc dd has lost any kind of routing. When I'm at work dh has her up at 7.30 ish, sleeps at 9.30 and 2pm. I put her down then around 8ish which I think is too late. The trouble is I dont really want her up too early in the morning as I have to get ready. I'm up at 6.30.

When I have her the rest of the week we go out and do stuff so screwing up her routine

Today she had her last nap at 5pm as we were in the car and is now up. She didnt go to sleep last night until 10.30 and was up at 10am so i have no chance of her going to sleep for a while yet.

Ideally I'd love her to do the 7-7 thing but I'm not very strict on enforcing this. We have no strict bedtime routine.

I know she would benefit from this.

Any ideas how to get it right?

dd2 (18 mths):

up around 7am (sometimes 6.45)
milk in bed with me
3 days a week breakfast at nursery around 9am
lunch 12ish, nap around 12.45 to 2ish depending how tired she is.
home around 5.30
bath 6.30
stories/bed 7pm/7.30

(obviously it doesn't always work like this and we have lunch earlier on days I'm at home with her and her sister)

Thanks Bundle. i have to be more strict about it. I would love to know she is going to be asleep by 7ish.
Despite being fairly anti gf I do wish I had a proper bedtime routine for both our sakes.
We get into one then something happens.

hercules, i think it makes a big difference when they go down to just one sleep in the day, it's easier to fit in. me and dd1 (4) just chill out and watch telly, i only rarely stay out during day because dd2 is a light sleeper like me. and don't beat yourself up over it, routines are something to aim for, not dictate your whole life. having said that dd2 is a much happier child when she sleeps well

Your routine sounds generally good and she seems to get a good sleep. I think it's just the late nights that seem to be a problem? How did the 8pm bedtime slide to 10.30pm?

she does sleep well but we dont have the pointers for her to know "yes, it's time for me to sleep now". When she sleeps is when she falls asleep rather than it being planned and built up to.

Incidentally, you're really lucky she makes up for a late night by sleeping in later in the morning. My dd (2) wakes at 6.30am no matter what time she went to bed ...

Do you mean you mean a strict bedtime routine as in timing or a routine as in what you do? Even if our timing was later than usual I tend to do the same things. (my sons daytime nap/s tend to be the same for about 4 days a week and all over the place for 3 days.)

Mines usually tea at 5.30pm, bath at 6pm. Milk downstairs. We have now included watching storymakers till 7pm. (I have thought of taping it to always fool him). Then teeth cleaning (well trying anyway), story (I read the same sotyr for ages!), cot toy song (with me singing too) then I leave him. We did the Penelope Leach version of controlled crying at about 12 months as he just got more and more excited when we stayed with him.

Visitors being round here till late and not having a nap until late in the day.
It doesnt help that I'm on holiday so we just get up when we wake up.

This is what works pretty well for ds who's 16 months:

Wake 6.30/7am (maybe a bit early for you?)
Milk
Breakfast 8am
Nap 10-11.30ish
Lunch 12.30pm
Nap (although he's now started to drop this most days - eeek!)3-3.45pm
Dinner 5.30pm
Bath 6.30
Milk 7pm
Asleep 7.15ish

Agree with Bundle - if you can cut it down to one sleep during the day after lunch(for maybe an hour and a half), she'll be ready for bed by 7.

herc, rituals = good, like bath, books, sleeping bag, dimming lights, certain toys around (nothing too exciting or noisy), then when you go away some of it is transportable. also i tell dd2 when i'm going to put her in her cot so it's not a big shock, even before she could speak she could understand all that.

What's the penelope leach version? Dd cosleeps with me and I'm not looking to stop that.
She goes to sleep once tired fine and I can leave her up their and come downstairs. It's just me who needs to sort myself out into a routine.
I know I should get her up at 8am tomorrow (clocks going back so will be good for 7am in a few days).

prefernot mine does this too, its really annoying. We took him to a wedding till lateish and everything said "O he'll sleep late tomorrow" ha!

Should add, we have a definite bedtime routine and have done since he was really young. It's just a case of doing everything from 6.30 onwards in exactly the same order - bath, jammies, bag, milk, cuddle, bed. Now when he gets zipped into his bag he almost automatically yawns and looks sleepy!

Okay. So no matter what time she goes to sleep tonight I'll get her up at 8am tomorrow and then bath at 6, reading and in bed at 8pm.

well you don't extend the time you leave them for. Its more like don't leave them upset more than 5 mins and don't stay in with them for more than five mins to calm them down. But I don't know if that would work for you, is she left in your bed or a cot? My son would have escaped from a bed I think! Hes already broken the cot twice by pulling it around.

We have a superking size bed just for dd and me. She goes to sleep with a few moans and cuddles so that aspect doesnt bother me. I dont mind reading her to sleep and staying until she sleeps. It's just the timing and sticking to it.

I also have an 8 year old ds so that makes it harder to stick to a routine.

Hi Hercules, I've always been big on getting dd's to bed by 7pm as like to have the evenings to ourselves. They also seem better for it and don't get tired in the day, even dd1 who has just started school.

dd2 18months
6.30 - 7am wake, has breakfast as soon as nappy changed.
Nap for approx 2 hours from 10am
Lunch 12 - 12.30
Dinner 4.30pm
Milk 5.30 - 6.00
Bed 6.30 - 7.00 (depending on how tired she is)

hercules, I co-sleep like you and have had similar issues. My ds is 13 months now (dd is nearly 3).

I too find that getting ds up at the same time each day has helped (he has to to fit in with dd and pre-school etc., dd had no one to fit in with and so I was more lax!).

I also agree that it's good to try and do the same things in the same order each night, even if not at the same time, IYSWIM. I can start dd's bedtime stuff as early as 6:30 if she's knackered and as late as 7:30 or 8 if there is something special happening but she does like the security of everything being in the same order.

HTH!

BTW ds has less sleep than dd. He has one 30 minute or no naps during the day and sleeps from 10-7 at night so my post is based more on dd.

Thanks for messages. I'll take her up now and read etc. Tomorrow 8 am and routine tomorrow night. I am just a bit lazy about such things although I'd much rather not be.

hercules. I know exactly what you mean!!

DS (13.5 months) routine is....

Up at 7am
Milk from cup then brekkie
Play until sleep about 9.30 for half an hour
Lunch at 11.30/12
Sleep from 1 - 2.30
Snack on waking maybe drink of milk
Tea at 5
Bath at 6
Bed at 7

She was up at 9am today but bed at 9pm last night.
Two very short naps in the car but woke up as short journeys. I managed to keep her up with a routing until 8.15 so will be 7.15 when clocks change.