Hair fixation and other sleep problems!

4 replies

peppadora · 27/10/2007 15:17

Help, can anybody help??
I have nine month old baby who has not learned how to settle herself to sleep. I breastfed to about 3 months and when I moved to bottle I kept a wee feed for last thing.. This I think is when problems started.
She falls asleep on me, usually very easily, and has developed the habit of grabbing my hair and fiddling with it. This has been her comforter, and it's getting worse... I'm lying to myself, it's entrenched! She does have a dummy, so hair, dummy... and sleep comes easily. However, the problem is that obviously every time she wakes in the night, and she still does, usually anytime after three - she needs me and my long hair to get back to sleep.
I have never left her to cry but realise now I have created a problem for self. The other thing is I still have to give her a bottle at 10-10.30, which is a another habit she is in, as solids took a while and I didn't drop this feed when I should have.
She also wakes up at the crack of dawn and I have made the dismal mistake of taking her to bed when she wakes at 3.30 ish, or any time after, just so that i can get more sleep. Fab for me just now... but a long term nightmare I suspect if I don't stop now.
Feeling like disaster mother, have been tearful all day today, getting to point I am dreading the night.. Can't ask anybody to babysit as she needs that late evening feed and my hair to get back to sleep.
Is there any solution for me other than CC and has anybody has similiar hair fixation experience? Should I get short back and sides?????

OP posts:

pulapula · 27/10/2007 20:33

I don't have any personal experience but a friend of mine's DS has the same hair fixation, and he's over 2, so i think you are right to tackle it now. Is there anyone else who can put DD to bed as it might break the association. Have you heard of pickup-putdown?. It will involve crying but you don't leave her like with CC.

As for the 10.30 bottle- we didn't stop it with DD until 8 months so i don't think you are too late. We used the baby whisperer technique of bringing the bottle forward 30 mins every 3 nights and 1 oz (30ml) less until you have eliminated the bottle. The theory is they take on a bit extra in the day and won't miss it.

pulapula · 27/10/2007 20:33

Original poster

peppadora · 27/10/2007 21:12

Thank you for your suggestions. I will read up again on baby whisperer technique as I know I don't have the emotional resources for the CC. I thought about getting a toy (with kind of silkyish hair, not woolly - I'm making my hair sound fab and silky - it isn't!), washing it with my shampoo and trying to put between myself and her when soothing. She needs a comforter, but it's me and my hair at the moment. Husband can settle at night, but in the day it will still be me for naps. I'm going to have to bite the bullet.

I will also try your suggestions re bringing that last feed forward in increments and reducing. It's a vicious circle... she isn't a great milk guzzler anyway but she will surely take more in the day if it's not there at night. I think it is a habit with her that she is now expecting. I am trying to tell myself that i can break the habit but only if I do it soon.

Thank you again for your help. It's great to know (despite how it feel's in the middle of the night) that others have had similiar probs.

OP posts:

morocco · 27/10/2007 21:21

could i tentatively suggest that she is still very young to settle herself and her behaviour sounds pretty typical for a lot of 9 month olds. fair enough if you are not happy but I just don't want you to think it is anything that necessarily needs sorting out and no way are you a disaster mother!!! co sleeping can be fab as well. my dd is 7 months old and starts off in her cot after being bf to sleep, then wakes up and i stick her in my bed at around 11pm, usually when i'm going to bed anyhow, she sleeps there then and we both get a good nights kip. i did the same with ds2 and he sleeps wonderfully in his own bed now, has done since he was about 14 months and i stopped cosleeping. ds1 is the hair fetishist, now him i did cc with and he still likes to stroke my hair and sleep in my bed if he can, proof to me that cc and making them sleep in their own beds as babies can backfire on you
hth

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