What am I doing wrong?

[crazybutkind]

Myself and husband have a 3 year old and 6 month old. 3 year old was a terrible sleeper and only started sleeping through when she was 2. Now my 6 month old still wakes 3-4 times a night.

When 3 year old used to wake she had a bottle and went back to sleep but I hoped we would nail it with her sister. I understand she's still small but the amount of reading I do about "baby should sleep 10-12 hours now has made me wonder "is it us?"

Run down of daily routine. During the day it's fine she's like clockwork awake for 3-4 hours sleeps for 45 mins-2 hours. Her last nap is around 4pm then by 6pm we have had dinner and we all go for a bath by 7:30 they are both in bed, when we go up to bed at 10 I give her a bottle but then it's 1am, 3am, 5am and that's when we get up.

I have tried for weeks now to push back as much as we can and instead of putting her in bed at 7:30 she sleeps down here until we go up but that makes her worse she is really ratty. I have also tried just comforting her back to sleep when she wakes in the middle of the night but she is hysterical.
I might add she is now weaning and will consume everything that I give her. She is well fed and I physically can't get anymore milk in her than she already has.

I am burning out.

So please anyone who has children similar age please tell me your routines and what I can do to break this.

I think that amount of waking is still pretty normal at 6 months old, both of mine did, and my friend's babies (except for the unicorn baby that slept through from early on).

Best thing I did for sleep prior to sleep training was separating milk and sleep. Fed downstairs before going upstairs and getting ready for bed. That might be worth a try?

I know I shouldn't compare to my friends "unicorn" babies bollocks does any 8 week old sleep right through. When I actually asked what they mean by "slept through" they go to bed at midnight and sleep until 6am.
I will try the feed downstairs and settle upstairs Thankyou x

Feels normal to me. This isnt a popular choice, but can you go to bed at the same time as the kids? I did this for probably 9 months and it just meant i wasnt really that sleep deprived. That 7-10 chunk of sleep kept me sane. Its dull, but makes 5am far less brutal, and frankly sleeping through lockdown might be the solution!! Best of luck

I had bf babies and 2 woke very regularly the youngest slept more....I don't know why....but, something to try.....is she waking wet? Can you go up a nappy size to see if she takes longer to get wet?

She was changed at 10 when we go to bed and to be honest it never really needed doing so now I do it when she wakes at 1am we also moved up a nappy size. She never wakes up crying it's more just shouting and 80% she has a bottle and goes back down. My 3 year old doesn't sleep during the day. She is wild and will not play alone AT ALL. Each night I get about 5 hours sleep I am just exhausted now xx

2 things to try.
Firstly don't give the 10pm bottle unless she is awake and asking for it. (She might need to learn to sleep for longer stretches. I know that sounds counter intuitive as you want her to sleep longer.....but just try it for a couple of nights.)

If that doesn't work just go to bed at 7 and get husband to do 10pm sleep so you can go through to 1. You will feel better for this. At least for a few nights to top up your sleep bank again.