Not getting enough sleep!

[otterbaby]

Yes, me...but more concerned for my baby! She's 13 weeks old and is suddenly waking up very frequently (I'm hoping this is the infamous 4 month sleep regression a bit early). It can take anywhere from 20 mins to an hour to get her back down. The last few nights she's only had roughly 7-8 hours of nighttime sleep when the recommendation is 10-11 (see photo from last night which has been our worst night yet).

I'm worried this is affecting her developmentally as she tends to only cat nap during the day as well (30-45 mins every hour and a half or so). She's a happy, healthy baby but I still worry - are there any other parents whose babies just didn't need that much sleep?

Anyone? 😬

Hi, sorry to hear neither of you are getting much sleep, it can be a real killer! My 14 week old went through a period of constantly waking at night at 11/12 weeks after previously sleeping for 3 hour stretches. She wasn't always crying or distressed but every 45 min -1 hour I would look over into her crib and there she would be smiling away at me. She also would only catnap during the day. Developmentally I am sure that it is OK as many babies seem to go through this but I was definitely suffering from the lack of sleep and she was very cranky during the day.

I decided to try and work on her having a long lunch time nap so that she was getting some decent sleep during the day (and didn't stress about the other naps) and I also wanted to focus on her self-settling. Unfortunately she has reflux and needs to be held upright for 30 minutes after a feed so options such as co-sleeping are not possible.

I started putting her down for the lunch nap in her room, made it dark, used white noise and would go in and resettle her when she woke 35 min later (I would wait a little if she was ok/just grizzling and surprisingly she often went back to sleep). I know it is against the lullaby trust guidance to leave her in her room and at first I was staying with her, but I have personally now made the decision to watch her on a monitor just for this sleep and now get a break in the day for myself which has been great for my mental health.

She took to it really well and although she still wakes up after 35 mins she generally grizzles for five or ten minutes and then puts herself back to sleep, usually for at least an hour. The times she hasn't and resettling hasn't worked I wore her in the sling for 1.5 hours in the afternoon and went for a long walk as she will only stay asleep in the sling when in constant motion.

I'm not sure if it is a coincidence and would have happened anyway but her night sleep has now also started to improve and last night she actually had a stretch of 3 and then 6 hours!

Sorry, just realised you said your little one seemed happy during the day! In that case I definitely wouldn't worry too much as I'm sure some babies really do just need less sleep! Sleep issues (at least at some point) very much appear to be the norm and most babies grow up just fine!

The sleep recommendation is an average, so some need more, some less. That looks like what DS did most nights for a long time. I'm one of the people who will say that's normal infant sleep and what you need to do is maximise your own sleep. If she's happy, then don't worry. FYI, DS is now 3y6mo, development absolutely bang on. The idea that sleep has to be continuous is largely a myth from the sleep training brigade

Someone else will probably be along to tell you I'm completely wrong and completely neglected DS by cuddling, accepting so many wakes and BF at night til 21 mo. Oh well.

@sam1121 that's so helpful, thank you! I've been letting her nap on me during the day so she gets some good quality sleep in to make up for the night, today she did an hour and 40 mins because she must be exhausted after last night 😭 good idea taking her for a long walk in the sling, I've heard fresh air can help bring on sleep as well!

@Harrysmummy246 good to know your boy was similar. Yep, it's not even the night feedings that are breaking me, it's the fact that once I finally drift off I'm getting woken up 40 mins later. It's rough! But I'm also not wanting to sleep train her as such, so perhaps it's something I just need to get used to...

Yes the just drifting off while they then wake and the associated anxiety that stops you drifting off.
Yep, that's why DS is an only child.
But please be reassured that it does get better.
I did find it easier once I started bedsharing and we both learnt how to feed lying down. Then I barely woke more than checking I was shoving a boob in his face.

And then easier again after we night weaned.

And easier again as bedsharing has now become a rarity.

And easier again when DH and I can alternate bedtime routine.

It's torture so I'm really sorry you are going through this.

As for development she will be fine.
My youngest never slept. Literally did not nap all day from 2 weeks old and was up till the early hours most nights. We tried everything. My older one was a really good sleeper.
She still wakes once in the night now at 3.
But developmentally she is thriving. She's a big girl, she is so physical she can easily walk 5 miles continously and can run all day, her speach is advanced etc at her 2 year assessment she was miles ahead. She's just a very active child who needs very little sleep.
Its absolutely exhausting.

Hang in there op and seriously ask for help, even in covid times, form a childcare bubble and use it to rest.

It sounds like sleep regression to me, I'm currently going through it with my 18 month old.

Just roll with it, that's all you can do, it does get better x