Safe bed-sharing: what bedding for me?

[Margo34]

I'm at my wits end and I cannot sit up cuddling my sleeping 3 month old baby all night any longer. I can't sleep in thr day with baby either as it's all contact naps (or baby won't nap at all). I've got nothing left in my tank.

Baby had been sleeping fine in next2me until Christmas. Now won't sleep if not in arms. Day or night. I can't do it any more and DH is not supportive and has MH issues exasperated by lockdown.

I have no one I can call on to form a support bubble.

I have no local family. My in-laws are elderly and shielding so won't be able to help either.

I don't see any solution except try bed-sharing. DH mental health will suffer as I'll have to kick him out of our bed to enable it.

What bedding can I use myself to bed-share safely without getting cold? Baby is in a sleep sack. The lullaby Trust stuff only talks about baby bedding.

Also if I BF, and BF to sleep lying down - what about winding baby? How do you manage that without waking baby? Do you have boobs out all night for baby to find comfort themselves?

Anything else you can suggest or any other ideas, I'm all ears,24/7 sitting up awake with baby, ears.

TIA

I used to wear pyjamas and a zip up hoodie, zipped up to the waist, and then duvet over my legs and up to waist. I would sleep on my side and dc slept in the space between my body and my arm iyswim, then when i rolled over I would scoop them up and roll them to my other side. Once you’re both used to it you barely have to wake up when they latch on.

@twinklespells

I don't wind in the night. I have a fast let down so DD does usually need a wind BUT feeding lying down seems to slow my let down and she doesn't gulp air quite like she does when I sit up and feed her, so maybe that's why I get away with it?

Ahh I wonder if it's the same for me re: fast letdown! I guess I don't know how to judge 🤔

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee you are right, and I was and remained very anxious about it, but I really had no choice for the first couple of weeks, she just wouldn't not be on me.

We started co sleeping because DD had a big startle reflex and I felt it was too hot to swaddle her (July, temps of 25 + inside at night). A few times sitting up to feed her I could feel myself nodding off and startling myself awake, it terrified me. I was very wary when she was tiny, she just felt so small and I feared it wasn't safe. On balance I think it was the safest option for us though. DD only ever sleeps on me for naps so I couldn't ever nap when she did either.

Hey OP!

Firstly - I dont like cosleeping either. But you dont have to do it forever. My son coslept til 8 months then we gently sleep trained and he was in his own room within a week perfectly happily. It will get better.

I sat up to feed - DS wasnt a fan of side feeding. I then held him upright for a bit and winded him gently then would lay back down.

Also - pillows- I can't sleep without one - so I clamped it between my shoulder and head and slept on the edge of it.

Hugs to you. I found this period brutal.

Slumbersac make adult sleep bags with feet so you can walk around www.slumbersac.co.uk/sleeping-bag-for-adults-1-0-tog.html

I thought they looked silly at first but slumbersac make adult sleep bags!
Could actually be really cosy and useful x

I don't co sleep except sometimes for a couple of hours feeding on my side in a morning if we haven't had much sleep

I tip ive seen others do (but haven't tried) re pillows is putting a bedsheet over them (so put pillows on bed before sheet or use an extra sheet and it means you don't have a happy under them pillow like you would without the sheet (if that makes sense)