How to reassure toddler?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

2 year old DS. He has slept through pretty reliably from 8 months after very gentle sleep training.
We had a baby 9 weeks ago. At first he was fine but now he cries every bedtime. Its breaking my heart - I've never left him to cry - but I cant be dealing with baby and silently standing in his room and whilst this will sound awfully selfish I have basically zero time to myself - I really do need him to go to bed.

I am heaping attention on him in the day, today we have been to the park and them baked biscuits, did some colouring together etc etc.

Any tips? My husband thinks it's just FOMO

Following because I'm in exactly the same situation. 9 week old and a 2 year old who is making a right song and dance of going to bed!

I thought he was about ready to go into a bed, but having to rethink that!

Oh hugs to you!

We were going to try a bed until someone told me it was likely he would stop napping.

So now he is staying in his cot. Probably until he leaves home

The end of the nap?! I'm not ready for that. Ever.

Oh this fills me with dread, I'm 7.5 months pregnant and my just turned 2yo has started playing up every bedtime and I'm so stressed with it! No tips but let me know how you work it out so I can too 😭

Mine are 2 and 4 (about 18 months apart) and I'm very sorry to tell you that they still both scream while the other one is going to bed, or sometimes both scream together if they're going off together. Sorry about that.

Hopefully someone will be along with better advice but I have managed about 30 minutes to myself a day for 4 years now

Toniebox has been a game changer for us.

@fenellamaxwell has it!! Shes got one for Christmas might just get it out early

@ShinyGreenElephant honestly it’s been brilliant - we have it on the bedside table so DS can choose his stories or music. I bribe him into bed with an episode of fireman Sam or a CBeebies bedtime story on my phone and once he’s settled I swap it to a tonie and he usually goes to sleep listening to it or can change it himself

As above, stories or music as go to sleep. If it’s possible to not be holding the baby when you put the toddler down then do this. It is definitely FOMO and it’s natural. So don’t remind the toddler that the baby is still with you. Baby needs to be out of sight (if poss) when quietly settling toddler down. Stick to pre new-baby routines as much as possible. If they get up, then without eye contact or many words put them back in bed. No fuss.

Sticker charts etc are good too if nothing else works. In the morning they get a sticker for quickly settling down, another for staying in bed all night until the time you’ve set. (Toddler mustn’t get up before the sun is out on a toddler fro-clock) ... then when a certain number of stickers is awarded (not too many so they see it works and you mean it) then they get a reward. Special time with mummy without baby maybe.

Gro- clock sorry not fro!

I've just chucked our Gro Clock after learning that the blue light it emits can actually have the opposite effect. Ours love the Moshi Sleep stories though (they still don't sleep, they just like them...)

I have a 1yo and a 3yo. Still haven't had any time to myself! Sorry OP but I think it gets worse before it gets better... I think when DS2 can walk independently it will be easier.

I just held (often asleep) newborn DS2 whilst waiting for DS1 to fall asleep. Like all things, it's a phase which goes after a few weeks. DP does most of DS1s bedtimes too.

Thanks everyone.

The problem is he wants to see the baby, he cries if he cant kiss her goodnight. He's very sensitive.

The tears only last for a few minutes, I'd say 5 max. I'm just worried if we start staying with him it will confuse him and I dont want to risk him being disturbed by the baby.

I'll give it a week and see if it gets any better, if not I'll start some music and see how he goes.