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Sleep

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Original poster

2 day old baby just won't sleep

22 replies

Paris2019 · 30/11/2020 07:00

I gave birth on fri eve. Baby is on anti biotics so we are stuck in hospital til at least wed. Husband only allowed to visit one hour a day. Baby is feeding pretty much continuously and then simply will not sleep in his cot. On fri night he was in special care, but since Sat lunchtime the longest stretch of sleep he's had is about an hour. On sat night the midwives took him for me twice so that I could get 1.5 hours sleep, and last night 1 hour, but other than those, I've basically had no sleep. The baby will sleep on my breast but nowhere else. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'll drop off while feeding him, but if I put him in the cot he just cries. I feel like there is no solution whatsoever. If I was at home at least my husband would be able to take the baby from me to give me some sleep time and we'd have a next-to'me crib for co sleeping. But in hospital, despite having the midwives around, I am isolated. I feel like this is unsustainable and I don't know what to do. I am also struggling with breastfeeding, despite the midwives' help, which is making everything harder. Sorry for long rambly post but I simply don't know what to do... any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Screwcorona · 30/11/2020 07:04

So frustrating, but sadly this is normal. All I can suggest is to keep asking for help from the midwives. Whilst fathers cant stay there is no other option if your getting to a point where your so tired you might drop the baby.

DonLewis · 30/11/2020 07:08

Congratulations. Those first hours with your baby sound tough. Don't underestimate the impact of what you've just been through.

Do you have an end date in sight? Because if you do, it might work to break down the time into chunks. Maybe you could ask your midwives about it, see if they have any ideas.

Is your baby happy in the cot? Because if he's in the cot and settled, you can try to rest. It may not be a decent 8 hour kip, but you do need to rest.

Equally, getting up and sort of ready for the day might help too?

Is there a day room you can walk to?

Hang in there. You'll be home soon.

MellowMelly · 30/11/2020 07:12

I agree with @Screwcorona. It sounds normal. The baby is almost constantly at the boob initially encouraging your milk to come in. I found once my milk was in full flow that my daughter slept longer.

LaraLuce · 30/11/2020 07:22

If he won't sleep after feeding is he getting enough milk? My DD2 was like this after we were separated in hospital while she was in special care. I started giving formula top ups after breastfeeds and she was much more settled.

SnuggyBuggy · 30/11/2020 07:35

I had this with my first (antibiotics and NICU) and we ended up cosleeping once at home so I'd recommend googling the safe 7 rules even if you swear you'll never do it.

What are you breastfeeding struggles? Pain? Latch? Supply? All three?

I found lansinoh helped with the pain.

Doublevodka · 30/11/2020 07:37

I think this is totally normal for the first few days. I sympathise as it's exhausting but I think when your milk comes through properly you will see a difference. Hang in there.

rottiemum88 · 30/11/2020 07:38

Are you feeling pressured to continue the breastfeeding OP? Just you mention struggling, I wondered it you felt like you had no option than to continue with it because you're in hospital rather than your own home. I mean BF is great if it works out, but less so if you're only doing it because you don't feel like you have an alternative. Remember it's still your choice to make.

Regarding sleep/not wanting to be put down, it all sounds very normal at this age, some newborns are definitely like this. You may be right that it'd be better if you were at home and DH could help, but I found with feeding in the early days being pretty much constant DH couldn't help me all that much anyway. You do find a way to cope with the tiredness better as time goes on though.

Best of luck with everything

MindyStClaire · 30/11/2020 08:07

Yes, very normal, and very very very hard. If you want to keep breastfeeding, keep at it. Things will improve once your milk is in. Get the latch checked every time and ask that he's checked for tongue tie.

Ask if there's any way someone could hold the baby for you to get an hour - some hospitals won't have enough staff but a wonderful student midwife offered to do this for me when I was 36 hours post c section with literally no sleep.

It gets easier than this, I promise.

choosername1234 · 30/11/2020 09:16

I had exactly this (my baby is now 3 weeks old). The midwives told me that 2 day old babies are often like this, crying feeding and not sleeping. She did t know why but said she had seen it time and time again in her career. It did help me feel less isolated and useless to know I wasn't the only one

Mylittlepony374 · 30/11/2020 09:25

The second night/day of breastfeeding is always the worst. It's pure hell. I was up all night with my first, clung barely to my sanity until 5am when I called my husband crying and sobbing and told him no matter what the midwives said he was go come to the hospital and help me. Right now.
It truly truly gets easier. It's so hard on second day/night because your baby is working so hard to make sure your milk comes in. They need to be constantly on the breast. It will ease off, I promise.
I know that doesn't help you now but just ask for as much help as you can get and know it will get easier. Probably tomorrow or the next day when your milk comes in. Then by 4 to 6 weeks mine both settled into some kind of routine if their own and it was really easy.
Congratulations on your baby!

Lilice · 30/11/2020 10:22

@Paris2019 is your baby sleeping on your chest or on your breast? Does he cry if you remove the boob? I've had 3 babies and never experienced what you are describing. If your baby wont let go of the breast, I would ask to have his blood sugars checked.

edgeware · 30/11/2020 10:47

Second night syndrome! It will get better. Cosleep and don’t feel guilty about it. Sleep changes completely at 4 months so you may as well not worry about what you’re doing before then. I just had my second and have co slept from birth. If you breastfeed especially you are very aware of them/light sleeper. Look up the guidelines for safe cosleeping and crack on.

Minkies13 · 30/11/2020 14:34

This was me two weeks ago!!! OMG I feel for you. I got discharged after 16hrs and was home though after a very rough birth.

My first never cluster fed so it was a big shock when this baby did. I cried and cried in pain and exhaustion and wished the hours away, not thinking I would ever cope. As soon as my milk came in things got instantly better. Instead of being up for 8hrs during the night constantly feeding on my cracked, bleeding and painful nipples she then started sleeping in 3-5hr chunks. The difference that made to my mental health and exhaustion was huge.

Please get help with breastfeeding. Mine has a tongue tie and it's getting released this week. I lathered on lanisoh cream before and after every feed. The pain has slowly subsided.i also used rite aid hydro discs to sooth my nipples. They are amazing from Amazon.

Take it hour by hour! Things will get easier

blackteaplease · 30/11/2020 14:40

All three of my DC did this on night 2. It's so so hard and does get better. If you want to breastfeed keep asking for help with the breastfeeding in the hospital and when you are home get your midwife to observe you and advise if you need. For my dc2 I was struggling and had a breastfeeding specialist come and do a home visit to help with latch. And most importantly keep your food and fluids up and rest when you can.

Oh and congratulations on your newborn

espressoontap · 30/11/2020 15:44

Night 2 is always horrific. My DD is 9 weeks now and we were in for 3 nights. MW tried to take her but she wouldn't settle until she was back with me.

When home ask MW how to feed lying down safely.

Congratulations on your baby x

NameChange30 · 30/11/2020 15:52

Oh your poor thing. I've had two babies, had some difficulty establishing breastfeeding with both - DC1 had tongue tie and DC2 (who is now 3 months old) didn't, but she did need some sessions with an osteopath to improve mobility in her neck and jaw.

I don't think this sounds normal - newborns tend to sleep a lot so if your baby is only sleeping for very short stretches and is constantly at the breast, that suggests to me that he's hungry. Please ask the midwife if she can get the infant feeding specialist to come and give you some breastfeeding support and do a proper tongue tie assessment. Most midwives are not trained in tongue tie so you need someone who is. And if it's not tongue tie they can advise on other issues and just BF in general.

Info about tongue tie here www.tongue-tie.org.uk/tongue-tie-information/

Hang on in there - it should get a bit easier after your milk comes in (around day 3-5 IIRC).

Original poster

Paris2019 · 30/11/2020 19:05

Thank you all so much for your responses... so so helpful and reassuring. Re the breastfeeding, he is pooing and weeing the right amount so I know I'm doing it right some of the time, and I know it's the latch that is the problem. I am asking each midwife to watch and show me again but I just can't seem to master it... I will persevere and have got some lasinoh cream in the meantime. My milk is deffo coming in also.

I managed to get DS down in his cot this morning for an hour which I felt was an achievement and we both slept. One of the midwives talked about setting me up for safe co sleeping but then today we've had another hurdle... DS has jaundice and needs to sleep in the cot under uv light with an eye mask on. Given that l he would barely sleep in there nicely swaddled and warm, there's absolutely no way he will with no clothes and an eye mask on!! He is getting so distressed when I try. So another literally sleepless night beckons...

I knew these first days would be tough, but I never expected to be so isolated like this. The midwives are fab but of course run off they're feet and there's only do much they can do.

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 30/11/2020 19:16

Poor latch and jaundice could indicate tongue tie, please please ask if they have infant feeding specialist who could do an assessment.

DS (who had tongue tie) was producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies, and put on weight fine, he just had to feed constantly to get enough milk. It was exhausting and I ended up with mastitis too as he wasn't emptying the breasts properly.

Mamabear04 · 01/12/2020 10:40

You are doing such a good job!!!! It is so hard in the beginning and under current circumstances you are a super woman! I had a similar experience on day 2 with my baby where she cluster fed from 11:30pm until 6am when the midwife took her from me to give her a bottle so I could 'get women sleep before breakfast at 7am' just keep pestering the midwifes for help and dont worry about them being busy. They are there for you so use them! One of the midwives set me up to co-sleep because I was terrified I'd smother my LO and that helped although I was so exhausted I forgot my DD name if it were me in your situation I would keep in mind that this is just for a while and then when you get home your DH will be there to help and you can get more of a rest and be comfortable in your own home. Remember you've been through a lot so it will all feel very intense and that's ok - its very normal! I would also persevere with trying to put your baby in the cot. When my LO was a newborn I had it in my head that I HAD to be awake when she was awake but if she is happy and safe in her cot then you get some sleep. Hope it gets a bit easier for you. It won't be long until your home x

Mamabear04 · 01/12/2020 10:41

*get some sleep (not women sleep Haha)

Harrysmummy246 · 01/12/2020 14:32

@LaraLuce

Well it's unlikely milk has even come in yet. This feeding will be stimulating milk production. Day 3 is average....

Mamabear04 · 01/12/2020 14:48

On the back of the last post - it's very normal for a newborn to cluster feed. It's brutal for us mums but it's normal. Your milk should come in about day 3 (you will know because your boobs will be massive!) And you will know your baby is getting enough by regular wet and dirty nappies. If your LO is producing enough dirty nappies then they are getting enough milk x

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