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Dummy Removal... 25month old

12 replies

lamby12 · 14/11/2020 08:30

Hi I'm just looking for anyone that's been here and can give some light at the end of the tunnel... sleep deprived and fed up - dummy story below...

DD has always had a dummy, during lockdown she suddenly got very attached to it during the day so we stared a 'dummy only for sleep' rule which she got right on board with, putting it in a box when she woke and not asking for it during the day. Brill.

She still had the dummy for sleep and naps, always been a good sleeper (11-12hrs at night) and a good 2 hr nap. Don't think we've had any sort of sleep regression since about 1yo so it's been a dream. Rarely go in her bedroom after putting her to bed (I know, amazing right!!)

Anyway last week she started putting the whole dummy in her mouth and nearly chocking. Sort of messing around but also then doing it once in the cot (watched on monitor). She's having a phase of testing dangerous things including seeing what makes her choke...?!

Anyway we kept a close eye on her that night and took the dummy away once she fell asleep and she didn't wake. She did the same near choking routine with the dummy the following night. We told her no but that always eggs her on. We discussed and googled and decided that there was a risk of her choking and it had to go. Otherwise. I wouldn't have even revisited thinking about the dummy until closer to 3. (She's only just 2).

We did the storyline, dummy fairy, she put it in the box, waved bye bye. First night wasn't too bad. We reminded her where it had gone but she was grieving for it!! Maybe 40mins of wailing (not really crying just frustration) and we soothed her through it but also left her to self soothe too. The following night it was maybe 15-20mins so we thought we're on the right track.

Que day 3, no nap, just wailing in the crib then going into hypness, back into tired wailing. Clearly can't get herself into a sleepy state (I know, the dummy did that right?!)
One week on and there's been no naps at home, she's exhausted and irritable all the time. Last night was 2hrs to get into what felt like a distressed sleep and then waking all night wailing. It's getting worse.

If we hadn't taken it away for the choking reason there's no way we'd be sticking with this, she's clearly not ready. I worry this isn't going to pass quickly and she's developing sleep problems which will impact on her (tired, irritable) and us (same...). OH says we can't break now and we'll never sleep easy thinking about finding her choked on a dummy.

Anyone got any words of experience, or ideas for something that can replace the dummy for soothing? She loves soft toys but doesn't want them in the cot. Gets angry if we try and give them to her. Me stroking her head and shhing doesn't help much either.

We have a good bedtime routine - bath, books, milk, story in cot, room feels like lovely sleep environment... do we just need to ride it out???

OP posts:
lamby12 · 14/11/2020 08:37

Just to add, I've thought about maybe one of the fancy nightlight animal lullaby things which she can look at from her cot (like the tommee tippee owl or something). But they're not cheap if it does nothing. Anyone got any experience of these??

OP posts:
cocowhite · 14/11/2020 08:41

Does she have a comforter ? Maybe buy one that's soft and cuddly let her choose and say it's for bedtime

Thisbastardcomputer · 14/11/2020 08:47

Forgive me if I'm wrong, it's a been a while since I've looked after a baby. Isn't the dummy too big for her to choke on ? Or can you get a bigger dummy. Good luck, it seems like you have the perfect child, sleep wise.

lamby12 · 14/11/2020 09:06

@cocowhite good idea. I have just found a couple of comforters she was bought as a baby and never inserted in. Going to wash, wrap and give as a gift as bedtime to see if that works.

@Thisbastardcomputer usually for babies they are too big to choke on yes. By the time they're toddlers the dummy size is 18m-3yrs and she can very much get the full thing in her mouth and push it into her throat. They have air holes in the face of the dummy to prevent fatal chocking but I wouldn't like the test the robustness with a slightly lunatic toddler who seems to have a death wish on testing danger..!

OP posts:
cocowhite · 14/11/2020 09:09

Also I usually find a video on you tube to show my toddler an example of any changes I'm about to make, it really seems to work. So before we potty trained we watched lots of toddlers trying a potty in you tube. Leading up to Christmas we are showing her you tube vids of kids getting ready fir Santa on Xmas eve and waking up to presents etc - also we did the same before she got her first haircut - it lets her see what to expect. Maybe find some you tube videos of toddlers getting/using a comforter in bed?

flissity · 14/11/2020 09:14

@lamby12 I know you said about musical things being not cheap.
Download the Calm app on your phone? Lots of nature sounds and some children’s sleep stories within the free bit. It’s worth a try, she may end up listening to the sounds and calming down a bit. Could put a Bluetooth speaker in her room or just lay the phone somewhere nearby.
Worth a try!!

flissity · 14/11/2020 09:15

It’s this app

Dummy Removal... 25month old
lamby12 · 14/11/2020 09:21

@flissity thanks for tthe app - I'll give this a try. I tried a random YouTube of lullabies last night on the iPad but she just wanted to look at it and then got upset when it was out of sight. I rocked her too it and she got dozy then a blaring advert butted in!

We've got the sound sleeper app which we've used since birth (iPad on top of the wardrobe) with the womb sound but maybe time to try something different.

@cocowhite that's a great idea, I never thought it that maybe she doesn't know how to use it and isn't 100% understanding everything we explain yet. I might try finding a little video and combining with a little made up story about the comforter being her sleep pal - then giving it during the story. That's tonight's elaborate attempt then!! X

OP posts:
flissity · 14/11/2020 09:37

@lamby12 anything’s worth a try. Definitely don’t let her see the phone screen though! It’s been a while since I’ve been through the dummy fairy etc (10 years) but I remember it being a slog. Don’t go back now as you’ve got this far with it. 😊

lamby12 · 30/11/2020 23:07

Just to update for anyone who comes across this thread in future (probably searching in desperation like me!) the phase passed!
Lasted about 2 weeks but now we are back to 10mins of chattering to herself in the crib then straight to sleep and sleeping all night.
Didn't give in and go back to the dummy, they went in the bin.
The naps are still less reliable but that's a bit about being hyped up and bored in the house with lockdown, I think. 5 days out of 7 there's a nap again and a few of those days it's a good long one, so we're back to some normality.
Hooray. Thanks for all the advice!

OP posts:
cocowhite · 30/11/2020 23:44

@lamby12 that's great news! The dummy fairy visited our house about 10 days ago and we only had 1 whinge in the afternoon that day and since then she's been great, sleep times have been the easiest for her which leads me to think she wasn't using it to get herself to sleep anyway.

If she hurts herself I'm missing the dummy myself as that usually stopped the screaming Grin but extra cuddles and we get there in the end

Smile
LL82 · 22/03/2021 21:15

Thanks for the update! Just found this! My almost 2 year old has also been messing about with his dummy sometimes and we had already said when he is 2 it was time to go so we about to try!! Very worried as he is a great sleeper but this has helped x

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