How do you get a toddler to nap during the day

[michellep]

My 2yr 5mnth daughter has never been good at napping during the day. She always plays happily in her cot, eventually falling asleep at 4.00 pm which obviously isn't ideal. The problem is if she doesn't nap at all, she is too tired to eat, stroppy, tearful, and then wakes up a couple of times in the night. Although she is perfectly happy to spend most of the afternoon in her cot playing, it means we don't get to do anything in the afternoon together, and I feel guilty about leaving her playing alone. Has anybody got any ideas?

dd had pretty much dropped her regular nap by that age However, now 3, she'll go through phases of catch up if her routine gets put out, for example when we were on holiday last week and she is still going to bed later than usual. She hasn't napped today and is now seriously grumpy and short fused !

I think it becomes increasingly difficult to enforce a nap but could you set up a little routine of quiet time after lunch with a story and then try to put her down. Is she active enough in the morning that she would settle ? If she hasn't gone to sleep by a reasonable time I'd get her up and do something with her to keep her going, then feed her and get her to bed a little earlier if that is possible. You may then find she'll still nap every couple of days.

I have a 2.3 year old - and generally she's good at napping. But if she's messing about in her cot I go up every 10-15 minutes telling her it's time for sleeping and to lie down etc. I'm only in there for 30 seconds and try to be very calm. I had a day a few months ago where I had to do that for over an hour before she slept. But from then on she went down like a dream, so it was worth it.

I also won't let her sleep beyond 4pm, because it messes the rest of the day including her 7.15 bed time.

It is a problem as they get bigger - now we find she's great at home, but regularly at the childminder's she doesn't sleep, she's just up in the cot singing and playing and then is absolutely shattered when she comes home.

Good luck!

we just stopped dd's daytime nap because she began waking up at night. she's 2yrs 11 mths. she WAS having a nap of between 20-40 mins in the middle of the day; it was a fairly moveable feast, but she seemed to need it. however, we needed uninterrupted nights more. [harsh face]

sometimes she is scratchy by tea/bedtime (7.30). if she falls asleep in the car or on the bus, which sometimes happens around 4 or 5, i let her have 5 mins -- no longer [evil mummy face] .she's often grumpy when i wake her up but soon recovers, and it carries her through and has no visible effect on bedtime.

maybe if you don't want to drop it, just curtail the 4pm sleep drastically?

btw do agree with pidge that if messing about in cots is going on, it's worth a calm/firm reminder that it's time to go to sleep now.

She might just be ready to give up her nap. I know you said she is really tired when she doesn't nap, but I think if you don't give her a nap for a few days, and maybe make her bedtime earlier, she'll probably adjust and be fine. The downside is that you don't get that nice period of time in the afternoon.

My 2y6m daughter doesn't usually nap anymore. If her schedule is good she'll sleep about 11 hours at night and be fine all day long but definitely ready for bed at bedtime.

DRIVE DRIVE AND DRIVE always works even at 3 and half if she needs to rest i will drive

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My 20 month old ds seems to spend the whole afternoon in his cot as he faffs about, and then does a poo (tried leaving it until after the poo but he just doesn't do one), then I bring him out and change him and then pop him back and eventually he may go to sleep. I just have an extra active morning each day to make up for it. I think he needs his time to chill and practise his talking. I sometime think it's not good that he spends 5 or 6 hours getting one hours sleep!

my ds is 2.8 (9 maybe...). after lunch we go & lie on our bed together, he drops off a treat. so do i sometimes... he goes to nursery 2 days a week & doesn't always nap there. we can really tell when this happens.

Thanks for all your prompt answers. And I'm glad I'm not alone! All the books give advice for how to get them to sleep at night, but never during the day! Fortunately my 6 month old is a text-book sleeper! With my 2 year old though, I think she probably gets up too late in the morning (8.00 am), and goes to bed quite late (8.00 pm) and eats with us at 6.30 - 7.00 pm. What times do your toddlers keep to?

michellep, my dd's 2. She sleeps 7.30pm - 6.30am or thereabouts give or take half an hour either way. And she sleeps 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon at about 12.30pm.

What time do you put her in the cot when she goes off at 4pm? Occasionally my dd plays around and I go in and tell her to go back to sleep a couple of times but if it goes on I just get her up and whip her out in the pram, or lie on the fold out bed in her room til she dozes off then sneak out.

I'm wondering though why, if her having a late sleep doesn't mess up her bedtime, you don't just put her in the cot later, closer to 4pm and then you can have the best part of a day out with her beforehand?

Also, what happens if you skip the nap but put her to bed at 7pm instead of 8?

Mine goes to bed at about 7:15 and will sleep till between 6 and 7.

Prefernot, if I have noticed she is really unbearably tired, I put her down at 1.30, and she plays until 4.00 before falling asleep. If I put her down to sleep at say 3.30, she doesn't sleep until 5.30, and so on... I've tried putting her down at 1.30 or 2.00 and then getting her up an hour later if she doesn't sleep, but she is just so tearful.

I might try getting her up at 7.00 am with my 6 month old, put her to bed for an hour after lunch, and if she doesn't sleep, get her up again, tea at 5.00 pm and then putting her to bed at 7.00 for a few days. What do you do about tea though, because she normally eats whatever we eat at 7.00?

I would really recommend putting her down quite a bit earlier. Try 11.30 or 12. My ds is 2.5 and sleeps for a good 2 hrs every day, but unfortunately his older sibs (and their pickup times) rule the timetable in our house and he is rarely down before one. By this time heis often overtired, won't eat properly, and is stroppy with me when I put him down. If I put him down at 11.30, he's generally asleep by 12 or 12.30, then he has a late lunch and is in fine form for the afternoon - plus he's ready for bed by 6!!
Try it. I reckon she's not going off because she's already past it by the time you put her down. let us know how you get on.

oh and if you want a book - "Healthy Sleep Habits, HAppy Child" by Marc Weissbluth is the one to get. Very good guidance as to how the sleep patterns change with age etc.

Thanks, tearful. Funnily enough I was wondering about this, because she has been rubbing her eyes, etc at around 11.30, I was just worried about giving her lunch too late. I'll try this over the weekend. Can't tomorrow because she is having a much needed haircut at 12.00!

Agree with Slink. Lunch then a drive soon sorts out my tired tot. She even said to me one day, 'tI'm tired mummy, can I sleeep in the car?

making it a routine, so he knows whats coming works well. before i put my dd down for morning sleep i tell her a while before like "in a bit, mammy is going to put you to bed for a nice sleep, ok?" and build up to it all the time keeping her relaxed. i dont play with her too much before or get her excited. i usually read her a book.

My 19 mth dd has a 2-3 hour nap everyday except when teething. she wakes at 8.30am and I put her down in her cot about 11am with classic of jazz fm on the radio down low, curtains drawn and give her a lovely warm 7oz bottle of milk to help her nod off.

blow her a kiss and tell her to have a nice nap and leave her. sometimes she chats for awhile after but i ignore her and she just goes off eventually.

my friend puts her baby down at the same time not with a bottle but with a book.

oh... just missed the first few words of your thread and your dd is alot older than mine.

does she still use a bottle at anytime of the dy as a comforter? does she like warm milk? now its getting cold you could give her a nice cup of warm cocoa.

ok, many will frown upon this one, but my dd would only fall asleep in front of a video, from about 2. There was no way of putting her in the cot as she would scream the house down, so I'd put her in front of a video and she'd usually fall aslepp within 5 minutes!

oh yes, i'd try tearful's idea of a much earlier nap. before we dropped it entirely, we started putting dd down MUCh earlier at 11.15 instead of 1. this was to fit in with afternoons at nursery school . i didn't believe it would work esp since she had started mucking about a bit in her cot at 1 - but she went for it. astonishing. tearful may well be right, by 4 she may well be overtired. keep us posted

Oh my lord, 2.5 hours in the cot before she sleeps? My dd would have gone totally nuts by then. Is she really just playing happily all that time? Incredible ...

Usually my dd says to me immediately after her lunch at the ridiculous hour of 11.30am 'time for books and bed now mummy?' and I say yes, get her in her sleeping bag, go down and read a couple of books and she goes off to sleep more or less quickly. The fact that you say she is 'unbearably tired' makes me think as others have said that perhaps she's gone over the threshold of tiredness at that point. Then again I don't know as your dd does a longer night than mine. Mine really is ready for bed by 12.30pm.

I think a 7pm tea is pretty late for such a little one. Most 7 year olds even go to bed before 8pm. I give dd her tea between 5.30-6pm. Sometimes we eat with her but mostly it'll just be me with her as dp doesn't get in until much later.

How long does she sleep for when she goes off at 4pm?

My dd's 16 months and at the moment goes to bed at 7pm and doesn't wake up until 8.15am. She then goes down for a morning nap at 10.30am until just before lunch at about 12.30pm. She doesn't have an afternoon nap, but if she did she'd be asleep all day! It's a routine which she has dictated as she gets tired at these times, rubbing eyes etc and she goes straight off when she gets in her cot. The long morning nap is great for me as I can have a bath/shower get ready, do housework (go on mn) in peace and we spend the afternoons going out or playing. After reading your post michelle, I'm wondering how much longer this great routine will last !

My ds is 17mths.
6.30am - wakes up
7.00am - has breakfast
11.30am - has lunch
12.00pm - goes to bed with milk (in anyway up cup)
1½-2 hours sleep
4.30pm - has tea
5.15pm - has bath
6.30pm - goes to bed, has a story, plays with books, drinks his milk
7.00pm - is asleep (usually!)

Obviously we don't keep strictly to these times, but that's it roughly. If he ever does go up to bed later in the day, he gets really worked up 'cos he's over-tired (this usually only happens at weekends when dp is home and wants to go out places, etc.). If that happens he usually has to go out in pushchair for a walk or something. I do like routine (so does ds!).

JO

Yes, it definitely looks like the concensus is an earlier nap - I think I mucked her naps up at a very early age, judging by DD2s naps. DD1 seems to see nap time as independent play time. She gets really excited about going to bed, and once she is on her own, you can hear her singing at the top of her voice, and playing with her teddies. If I pop my head in there she says "bye mummy, close door"!! Eventually she will sleep for 1.5 hrs, but as I said, its getting late by then. I will try her at 11.30 instead, then hopefully we won't have to spend the whole afternoon indoors!