My toddler can fight sleep like no other! Advice please.

[CP2701]

Hi there

I have a little girl who will be 2 in January so she is currently 22 months old. I am looking for any advice at all.

She is horrendous to get to sleep. She slaps herself in the face to stay awake she rolls about so much, it's like she's trying to burrow through the bed.

She won't go to sleep before 1am. It is horrendous. She does not have a dummy or any other kind of comforter, she's never taken to one. She doesn't have a favourite Teddy etc either. She despises her cot. When I put her in it, she screams so much she's almost sick. She can also climb out of it. So I need to get her to sleep on my bed and then move her once she's asleep. It's not easy. I have tried waking her early every day and I've tried cutting out naps. Whether she has a nap or not, she still won't sleep before that time. One day last week, she had not been to sleep until 2:50am.

We have a bedtime routine, I bring her up, we read a story together etc. And then she just rolls and runs about the room or slaps herself repeatedly, even screams to keep herself awake. When she finally goes to sleep, I move her quite easily to her cot. She then wakes once during the night. Again, she screams so much, I bring her straight into my bed. She goes instantly back to sleep... But it affects my sleep. There is really not enough room for the three of us in the bed and I find I am up for hours after this. I am struggling at the minute. I don't know how to get her to stay in bed once asleep, or even go to sleep. She hates being patted or stroked etc and she can't stand blankets being on top of her either. She gets angry at white noise! 😂 She's so hard to please!

She's still in her cot but I am going to try and move her into her bed soon and hope that helps. But I honestly can't see how it will. Has anyone else been through this?!

What is her daytime routine like- what time does she wake, what time is her nap and what time do you start the night time routine?

Have a look at babogue sleep solutions on Instagram- lots of saved videos about ideal naptimes/bedtimes etc

A bed is likely to make all of your problems significantly mire difficult to deal with. Keep the cot.

She needs to start going to sleep in the cot, not moving her once asleep.

If she's slapping herself, hold her hands (still) as she calms down. If she screams, just stay calm and compassionate as you stay with her, quietly waiting for her to calm down. Holding her hands in yours will also help her still the rest of her body.

Be confident in your abilities and just wait. Eye contact, bend close to her (As she's lying in the cot) but don't make a massive fuss. Don't make much sound or big movements. Hold her still physically to help her learn to calm her body and mind. Then just wait.

She will not lie down in the cot at all. She just screams and screams until she's about sick. I don't feel like I can just calm her down from that to be honest. I was told to continously lie her down at one point by the health visitor. I have tried it over a hundred times in a row... No luck. She just screams and screams.

My dd was an absolute sleep fighter too. We moved her to a toddler bed at 18mo. Our technique was to do normal bedtime routine, then when it was time for sleep sit/lie next to her and "hug" her quite firmly (so she can't thrash about or stand up but still allow her a bit of wriggle room so she can get comfy) with her lying down. This usually resulted in a good few bellows for a few minutes, then she was out like a light. The real trick is to remain in this position for a good 20 minutes so when you move she doesn't wake up! If it's any consolation she's now 3yo and goes to bed good as gold and sleeps 12 hours. It's taken us a good while to get here but she's actually a decent sleeper now!

She will not lie down in the cot at all

Instruction-following games may help with this. During awake play times work on giving her instructions to follow:

• sit down
• stand up
• lie down
• bring me the ball
• take this to Daddy
• put it in the bin
• touch your nose/ears/feet

Make it a game, a bit like Simon Says (but without the convent of Simon Saying, or not). Young toddlers almost universally like to please their parents, show how clever they are are how independant they can be.

Encourage independence at every possible opportunity. Never again put her on a chair, ask her to climb onto the chair. Don't put her rubbish in the bin, tell her to do it. Ditto plate into kitchen, climb onto your knee for a cuddle and so on.

At bedtime stop lying her down in the cot every time, the aim is she takes some independence here. She needs lots of experience in instruction following (in non stressful times, so away from the cot) and getting loads of praise for it before she'll do it though.

Really helpful advice... Thank you!

Mine is only 18 months but fought sleep valiantly.

He naps if I’m walking and he’s in the pram.

The big game changer was bringing bedtime way forward. We have dinner around 4.30. Bath at 5ish. Milk by six and often earlier. It’s not foolproof but he’s generally solidly asleep by 7ish.