My 4 months daughter can't self soothe to sleep

[LauraPan]

Hello,
my daughter is 4 months old. She's finally starting to sleep more at night, but there's an issue. She seems to have a very hard time falling asleep even when she's very tired. Sometimes she would start crying out of tiredness, she would doze but as soon as she closes her eyes, it's like she's resisting the sleep. Then she wakes up and cry again.
The only sure way to make her sleep is to give her some breast feed. Sometimes as soon as she sucks one single time she falls asleep. Then maybe she wakes up, another suck and sleep again.
Sometimes we manage to make her sleep by letting her cry, but it's more common at night when she's very tired and in general it's difficult.

What can we do to help her to learn self soothing?

She's 4 months, likely in a sleep regression and then there's another one at 6 months, then 9 and then a year...

Sure some babies will self settle but it's really not the norm.

oh I did not explain properly that yes sometimes I let her cry, but on me! :D no, she's way to young for controlled cry! don't worry my friends

I remember this at 4 months, the only way to settle was at the comfort of the breast which changed for us to be very frequent.. as soon as put down or within an hour.. soooo exhausting. This began at 4 months.

I'm not quite sure when it stopped, it was a few years ago now! (But DS now sleeps though and has since 15 months so it worked out ok and he wasn't 'spoilt' with the frequent feeds).

I'd like to share some wisdom but there isn't really any.. I think cuddling for longer after he'd fallen asleep helped, maybe 20 mins. Warm the cot with hot water bottle or use a fleecy sheet so he's not feeling a cold mattress. Then when in his cot keep you hand on a bit and pat if he stirs.

Many people co-sleep, I wasn't comfortable with that being the solution at the time, but I probably think differently now and would be more likely to do it.

OP you need to read up a bit more on what is normal for that age. Your baby needs you. Gentle sleep book is an excellent read.

My dd didn’t self soothe until she was 6 months. I’d have music playing and star ⭐️ projector on. Still do so she’s comforted.

She’s nearly 2 now and happy to go up to bed on her own. Always has classical radio on and star lights. I read few stories before bed sing few songs.

What helped me is not expecting her to just sleep, as she’s gotten older I leave a reading light on and give her a board book to look through. Then go back later and turn the light off ect. We do t just fall asleep, so it’s mad to expect little ones too unless they’re exhausted.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Let's not expect anything to change for the next 6-8 months ❤️❤️❤️

You could try a dummy, she might like it and it might get her that wee bit deeper to sleep so she stays sleep.