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To try sleep training or just keep cosleeping?

7 replies

Keha · 27/10/2020 23:00

DD is nearly 8 months, mainly breastfed, DH sometimes gives formula. We ended up cosleeping when she was tiny because it was the best way to get sleep. I've got used to it, love the cuddles, am quite comfortable cosleeping, and get decent sleep.

However....I was having to go to bed with her and not getting any evening to myself. I also nap with her/hold her for naps.

We now put her in a cot in her room at bedtime(8pm ish) so I have a bit of evening and I bring her in bed once I go to sleep (11ish). But she can wake up several times during this, sometimes going back to sleep easily, sometimes not. Me and DH take turns setting her, feeding or patting or rocking etc (not consistent I know!). She never falls asleep without help. Sometimes she stays asleep 2-3 hours, sometimes 20 mins. I start to feel pretty frustrated when we've just sat down to watch something and she wakes up again. I find it difficult that she is so unpredictable.

I really want to get her regularly sleeping a few hours in her cot on an evening. But I feel like this will need consistency and probably some sort of sleep training. But I don't want this to mean I can't cosleep because I'm worried I'll be up and down with her all night and I'll lose my decent stretch of sleep. We could do it for a couple of weeks whilst "training" but not long term. I don't want to leave her to cry, if I don't get to her quickly when she wakes she gets really upset.

Anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AnnaSW1 · 27/10/2020 23:14

I have been in this situation. Don't leave them to cry. Everything is a phase and passes so quickly. I now stay with mine for 5 minutes only and then they are sleeping. It's not worth being mean and leaving them to cry.

It's not really sleep training, it's just training your child to stop crying because they've given up hope they you'll come. That's not something good to teach a baby.

Keha · 27/10/2020 23:46

@AnnaSW1 thanks, I don't want to leave her to cry. When did you start being able to only stay with yours for a few minutes? I feel guilty for wanting more time to myself but also like we are not being consistent and giving her mixed messages.

OP posts:
unchienandalusia · 27/10/2020 23:48

If you didn't bring her in with you at 11 would she wake ok at all?

AnnaSW1 · 28/10/2020 07:21

@Keha when they were around one. It just gradually improved.

Keha · 28/10/2020 16:06

@unchienandalusia sorry, I didn't explain very well. I don't wake her up at 11pm, but she usually wakes around that time anyway and that's when I'll decide to go to bed, rather than resettling in her bed again. She just doesn't sleep very long in her cot ever.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/10/2020 16:10

This is MN the Mecca for co sleeping until 8yrs old and assuming any type of crying is inhumane.
I don’t believe in cry it out but if a baby has been fed, burped, isn’t sick or teething, leaving them to cry for a max Of a few min intervals won’t hurt. Honestly I think a good night sleep for everyone is more imperative.
You could try a bottle of formula at bedtime, and/ or offering water when they wake in the night

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