Even Cry It Out won't work

[jenesaisquoixo]

Hey all,

My 6 month old DS has never been a brilliant sleeper. The newborn month was fairly normal. Months 2-4 he would never settle during the day. I'd rock him to sleep but he'd wake as soon as I put him in his basket, and sometimes we'd spend the entire day in this cycle. He would always sleep fairly well during the night however, waking only to feed.

More recently, this has changed, so he can be persuaded to have regular naps (he might stir himself awake halfway through and have to be coaxed back to sleep, but he's much more regular than he was). Instead, he wakes every hour of the night. Sometimes multiple times within the hour. Recently he's decided 3AM is a great time to play.

I generally get him to sleep (day/night) with any/all of: a feed, dummy, rocking, white noise. He's especially fond of his dummy.

I've been trying to get him to sleep by himself during the day, so that hopefully sleep training him during the night will be easier. I'm trying to break his sleep associations/dependencies, but it's really tough going. I take him up well in advance of his nap time (by about 30 mins), give him a feed and then lay him down. He'll cry for an hour with no end in sight, at which point I cave and give him his dummy and he falls asleep in two minutes. I really don't know what to do. I'm out of ideas. Please help.

Much love even for reading this far

@FATEdestiny

I'm a big fan of bouncy chair naps in the first 6 months - it teaches baby the vital skills of going to sleep where they stay asleep. The mistake often made is to get baby to sleep in your arms then put baby down already asleep - this creates massive problems longer term.

What do you suggest for young babies who scream if put down when tired / over tired. X

What do you suggest for young babies who scream if put down when tired / over tired.

The very simple answer is to reduce awake time between naps (significantly) so that not over tired.

Also - use a dummy. You're likely to have baby crying as part of going to sleep unless sucking.

@FATEdestiny thank you- would you say 3 naps a day is enough for a 4.5 month old ?
I have tried giving her a dummy many times she is not interested sadly
She's ebf is that makes any difference c

@FATEdestiny
I agree with you about dummies.
What strategies do you recommend for when the time comes to remove the dummy? At what stage do you recommend this?

would you say 3 naps a day is enough for a 4.5 month old ?

Almost certainly not (although depends on the individual).

As a general approximation, awake time between naps wants to be around double nap length, +- 15 minutes. This isn't a hard and fast rule, just an approximation to give you an idea of when the next nap time is likely to be needed.

Awake time also includes settling time (the time it takes you to get baby to sleep). So if it takes you a long time to get baby to sleep this further reduces awake/play time.

I would keep trying with the dummy. Your window of getting a dummy accepted is coming to a close. By around 5-6 months if you haven't established a dummy you probably never will.

What strategies do you recommend for when the time comes to remove the dummy? At what stage do you recommend this?

Dropping daytime napping is the trigger I would use for time to stop dummy use. If you drop the dummy before that you are likely to mess up the child (toddlers) daytime sleep and result in maps being dropped before the child is ready. So an approximate age for dropping the lunchtime nap is somewhere around 3yo (Could be 2yo-4yo tho) - so preschool age.

In the lead up to that, establishing dummies for sleep time only is necessary in my view. Then by the toddler age dummy lives in the cot only and is only in baby's mouth for dropping to sleep (10 mins or so) then drops and is removed. The key is to not establish general use of dummy in life, just for going to sleep.

At that point you have a toddler you can rationalise with and dummy use only at bedtime (because daytime naps have stopped). Bedtime is when the pressure to sleep is greatest over 24h - making going to sleep without dummy easiest.

This is all just my view, obviously. Lots of people are anti-dummy use. I am absolutely not. In my view dummies are the kindest, gentlest and simplest way to achieve independant sleep without any crying.

Thanks @FATEdestiny to be honest I don't want her having a dummy that's why I haven't pushed it I am hoping she will be a thumb sucker (personal reasons )
She usually gets up around 8 then she naps around 10/10.30 for minimum 2 hours then she will have another nap similar length around 2/2.30 for another 2 hours then around 6ish I try to encourage 30min/1 hour and bedtime is 7.30/8zzz