Please help 4 & 6 year old sleep

[screamer1]

They both still want to be cuddled to sleep, which is what we've always done. It's a luxury that they've always had us both available at bed times to be able to do this.

However, it's now taking so long to get them to sleep. They both cry if I / we aren't with them.

We've tried star charts and incentives. It works for a couple of days and then goes back to normal. I've always loved cuddling them to sleep but it's completely impossible if we ever want to go out because no one can put them to bed. I know we need to get tougher but I don't want them to cry (did 4 in particular gets hysterical) and I'd love to still cuddle the, if it took 10 minutes. But bedtime is taking over an hour every night.

Please help! Is there any strategies we can use?

Short stories via a podcast? My 5 year old hates getting himself to sleep and I was too soft. But these have made all the difference.

I was thinking of that. I didn't' really want it to become a prop, but my dh reminded me that's exactly what we are at the moment.

You could have a cuddle timer.....
So set the timer for 10 mins, when the timer goes off the cuddle time is over and it’s sleep time. You have to be really really firm, it will take a few days but ignore the crying and refuse to give them any attention. If they get out of bed then return them and say ‘it’s bedtime’
Ignoring the crying will be really hard especially if they get hysterical but if you give in you will be back to square one. You could go back in and calmly say it’s bedtime, maybe pat them on the hand, back leg or where-ever but definitely no more cuddles.

I would use a timer and set it for 5 minutes. When the timer dings, that's it. Time for bed, no exceptions. You're going to have to steel yourself about any upset and just get through it.

@screamer1

I was thinking of that. I didn't' really want it to become a prop, but my dh reminded me that's exactly what we are at the moment.

I play two longish ones 20mins each, he is asleep during the second. At some point i will say "one story then sleep" he can read and once he is onto proper books (that he doesn't finish in one sitting) I think he will be like I was and read until he's asleep.

Thank you for these ideas. I'm going to give them a go. Hopefully something will work!

Right now they have you wrapped around their little fingers and they know it! You need to take the control back, which really won't be as hard as you might think. You can do it!