Every single hour

[Betsyboo87]

DS is nearly 4mo. Initially we got 5/6hr stretches of sleep. At 10 weeks he started waking every 2hrs and for the last 2 weeks we’re on hourly wakings. No long stretch at the start, just every single hour all night long. I’m absolutely exhausted. He’ll only fall asleep feeding and I don’t even know how to go about teaching him to self settle when I have so little energy. I was so adamant I wouldn’t co-sleep but I’ve given in for the last few nights as I’ve been so petrified of falling asleep holding him. It’s not giving me anymore sleep though as DS can’t latch lying down without me holding my boob up. DH gets up early and has him for 2hrs before work. He can’t take him for any longer as DS refuses a bottle and so needs me to feed. He works 60hr+ weeks too and it’s starting to take it’s toll on him.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for here. I am desperate to stop bf now but can’t if DS won’t take a bottle. My DM would love to help but we live abroad and she can’t come due to covid restrictions. It just feels like such a shit situation and I don’t know how to get through it or improve it. Any reassurance or suggestions would be hugely appreciated!

Could you get a friend or paid help to take over for a few days so you can catch up on sleep as a first step? Can bring to you for feeds then take away, they don’t need feeding every hour and someone more detached/who isn’t food will be able to help with other ways to settle. That habit needs breaking ASAP, maybe they like sucking, have you tried a dummy? At 4 months could you try a cup and perhaps try slowly weaning to introduce soft and mushy foods? Also get DH to persist with bottle at weekends. However when you’re so tired trying to logically work through any of this will be too much so would focus on any way to get a break in the immediate term. Good luck x

This sounds like the 4 month sleep regression? Very tough. Have you tried speaking to any of the breastfeeding support lines? Xx

Thanks both for responding to my desperate middle of the night post. DH managed to keep DS entertained for 3hrs this morning so I could get some solid sleep which helped. He is such a delight during the day but now it’s evening again the anxiety about the night ahead is creeping in.

Absolutely we need to break the feed to sleep habit. I’m just so tired that it’s easier to take the quick fix but I know we need to look long term. I saw a Lactation consultant last week who has given us some help in encouraging a bottle which we’re working on. She also suggested finger feeding so I’m waiting for the tubing for that to be delivered.

Unfortunately we’re very on our own here. We have friends but they all work. Paid help could be an option but it’s already quite chaotic in our apartment with DH working from home. It’s a good suggestion though and I’ll look into it.