Any tips on trying to get toddler to sleep a bit longer in morning?

[GreyPanther]

Hello

Our 21 month old DS wakes up anytime between 4:50am-5:50am. The past week he’s been waking around 5:30am like clockwork. We had one blessed week when we where on holiday when he woke up at 7:45am every day but otherwise it’s been 5am wake ups for about 9 months now.

He is always really tired and grumpy in the morning so I need to try and do something about this and wanted some practical advice.

Room is a good temp, we have blackout blinds and we have a good bedtime routine (he’s in bed between 6:30pm-7:00pm with no problems) and naps for about 1.5-2hrs a day (unless he’s at the childminder and it’s usually an hour).

Because he wakes up screaming for me, I always go to him and feed him (still breast feeding). He gets upset if I’m in the room with him and he’s still in the cot.

What can I do to help him sleep?

Should I stay in with him and just keep him in the cot no matter how much he screams?

Should I keep him in the cot and rub him back while he’s standing? If I tried to lie him down he would just pop up again and I think it would agitate him further if I kept on trying to get him to lie down.

He falls asleep on his own for nap time and bed time so I’m not sure how good it will be for me to be in the room with him but I don’t feel able to leave him screaming for an hour.

Any tips appreciated! I’m so worried about the clocks going back as well as I don’t fancy 3/4am wake ups for weeks on end.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! I’ve never tried a later bedtime mainly because by the time we get to about 5:30pm he’s completely exhausted and either running round in circles or lying on the floor going “sleepy time” hence why we have an earlier bed time. Also, part of me is scared he’ll be even more grumpy if he goes to bed later and still wakes at 5am I’ll give the later bedtime a go tomorrow and see if it works!

@RandomMess I have wondered about the wake to sleep method as on the odd occasion when he has woken up at 3am ish he’s slept in later. Maybe we’ll give that ago if the late evenings don’t work!

Thanks for the gro clock recommendations! I never knew if it was a gimmick so it’s good to hear it has worked for some people...although I have a feeling he’ll end up ignoring it like @TooMinty’s kids.

I wish I could bring him into bed for a sleepy feed but he absolutely loves our bed and finds running up and down it very exciting so we try not to bring him into bed too often as it’s too much effort trying to stop him from hurting himself.

The letting daddy sort it out and listen to an audio book is my favourite

@Waterdropsdown lol fake news couldn’t agree more!

With the gro clock you do have to be consistent, he's not allowed to start the day before the sunshine (whether that's a breastfeed, leaving his bedroom, etc)

As PP said, when you introduce it, you set it so that "sunrise" is the time he usually wakes up, and you gradually make it later until it's the time you want him to wake up.

Also it's no wonder he's tired by 5.30pm if he's waking so early. It's a bit chicken and egg isn't it, you don't want to make bedtime later if he's not going to sleep later - which is why I think the gro clock and doing it gradually can work so well. (The bedtime would get later gradually as "sunrise" gets later gradually.)

Also i have been known to cheat with the gro clock a few times ie when he's woken up way before "sunrise" and I know he won't last until then - you can manually make the sun appear, which I have sneakily done when he's not looking! They should add a feature that allows you to do it remotely

(NB there is also a lock feature which is essential when they work out that they can make the sun appear by pressing the buttons!)

Definitely need bedtime to be a bit later. Not all children will sleep 12 hours at night, many sleep 10-11 and make it up with naps so if he's going to bed at 6.30, it lends itself to 5.30 wake ups. I would aim for 7.30-8. He may have a few harder days at first where he sleeps late and wakes early but it usually does regulate if you're consistent with naps. Don't put him down for his nap early on those difficult days too but let him nap until a bit later if it helps him stay up until 7.30.

I strongly disagree with dropping naps so young unless the child themself is resisting it and there's no alternative option. When under 2, the nap is essential for them to recharge and not get overtired. I have an almost 4 year old who is only just dropping her nap completely - she still has 2 days each week with around half hour nap and my 2year old naps 2.5hrs with absolutely no signs of dropping in the near future.

@Willow146 gah it’s so tough! Deffo not dropping the nap anytime soon. Fingers crossed for better mornings!

@June628 it’s very sweet bless him! It may just be a ploy to get out of the cot and downstairs to his toys but I’ll take what I can!!

@dancemom he’s definitely still tired in the morning as he says “Sleepy time” at around 10am and flops down on the ground. I might try wake to sleep if a later bed time doesn’t work. I hope it doesn’t create a night time habit though 😬

@NameChange30 it totally is chicken and egg and lol to cheating the gro clock 😂 I’m going to get one if the later bed times don’t work!

@riddles26 thank you I definitely won’t be dropping the nap anytime soon as he really needs them. Poor DS had a day at the childminders last week when he just didn’t nap and he was miserable. He only managed 20 mins yesterday because he fell asleep in the car at around 11am then wouldn’t sleep the rest of the day but today he slept for 2hours so hopefully he’s caught up.

My 2 year old is like that (and always has been) - he just can't cope without his nap and gets hysterical with overtiredness if we skip it completely.

While I love the gro clock and it's definitely made a difference, I can say with 100% certainty, my eldest would not have responded to it any earlier than 2.5yrs old (her understanding was much better nearer 3) as she just wouldn't have understood it properly. My younger one has a better idea because of her but he still makes noise and talks loudly/shouts/sings until he sees it - certainly doesn't go back to sleep like intended!

Seriously just get one, if it doesn't work I'll buy it off you! (I'll need another one for DC2 if we are still using it for DC1!)

Can't he come into your bed when he wakes early?

I'd still get a Gro Clock to try but just don't pin your hopes on it. Even if it doesn't work now, you can use it when he is older but not able to read a real clock yet e.g. age 3-5 ish. My kids still have them age 6 and 8 and they do obey them now. We haven't got round to buying them grown up clocks yet - I assume I will have to get Minecraft themed ones!

@GreyPanther

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! I’ve never tried a later bedtime mainly because by the time we get to about 5:30pm he’s completely exhausted and either running round in circles or lying on the floor going “sleepy time” hence why we have an earlier bed time. Also, part of me is scared he’ll be even more grumpy if he goes to bed later and still wakes at 5am I’ll give the later bedtime a go tomorrow and see if it works!

@RandomMess I have wondered about the wake to sleep method as on the odd occasion when he has woken up at 3am ish he’s slept in later. Maybe we’ll give that ago if the late evenings don’t work!

Thanks for the gro clock recommendations! I never knew if it was a gimmick so it’s good to hear it has worked for some people...although I have a feeling he’ll end up ignoring it like @TooMinty’s kids.

I wish I could bring him into bed for a sleepy feed but he absolutely loves our bed and finds running up and down it very exciting so we try not to bring him into bed too often as it’s too much effort trying to stop him from hurting himself.

The letting daddy sort it out and listen to an audio book is my favourite

Sending in Daddy/audiobook are my top two suggestions for all child related sleep issues...

(Any other non milk producing adult would do if Daddy isn't available)

I’m sorry to say that I don’t think there is a golden bullet other than age for some kids. Just like adults some are more morning people than others. I’ve tried lots of things, gro clock etc but really just being older and dropping his nap has gradually moved my sons wake up time later and now he normally doesn’t wake until 6.45-7 which I’m more than happy with.

Accepting that I could do my best to encourage later wake up times but couldn’t “fix it” was helpful for me in keeping faith that we’d get there in the end

@NameChange30

8.30 is pretty late to start the day. What time does she go to bed?

Between 8-9pm, we put her to bed at 8 and she normally plays for a bit.

She doesn't start nursery in the week until 9pm, and means we keep it consistent on weekends too

12 hours a night is pretty good

Just thought I would update you all - we’ve had almost a week of putting our DS to bed around 7-7:15pm and over the course of the week he had been getting up later and later!!! So first morning he woke up at 6am (naturally I was wide awake from 4am) and then 6:20, 6:30,6:45 etc and today he woke up at 7:10 🥳🥳🥳 More importantly, he is waking up happy!!!!!

I appreciate this is going to go to pot when the clocks change tomorrow but just wanted to say a big thank you for your advice!!!

Hurray! Fingers crossed you can get back on track quickly after clocks change.