Please Help.......DS 5weeks only settles well when on his tummy :o(

[kelmcd]

OUr 5 week DS is not sleeping terribly well but he seems to settle on his stomach and sleeps a dream. I only ever let him do this when we are sitting on our sofa together and never leave him, I know its not recommended due to cot death but we are at our wits end. Does any one elses LO's settle only on the tummys and if so what do you do? Please please give us some advice

I read in the Times yesterday that in 9/10 cot deaths the parents are smokers - so assuming you and your DH are not smokers, the risk should be very small...

kelmcd - my ds was an absolute nightmare as a newborn. He'd fall asleep on his back after much angst and then a loud fart would come from the carrycot and he'd wake up crying. He was very windy and collicky and being on his tummy put pressure on the right place and let him sleep. He'd also refuse to go back to sleep at night after feeds. At 6 wks after 4 days and nights of no more than 10 mins uninterrupted sleep, my parents turned him over on his tummy and he slept.

I felt very guilty and did try turning him on his back when in deep enough sleep and initially tried to only do it during the day when (technically) I might be awake. But after a while I had enough and just put him like that permanently. My nice hv at the time came round and saw it and was of the view that if it helped me function (she thought I was borderline pnd) then it was fine so long as I obeyed the other guidelines.

Since doing it I've found other people who have done the same.

Unfortunately with cot death you can obey all the guidelines and it can still happen.

I did try everything else first before we did this (raised end of carrycot, swaddling, sling (ds hated it), cutting all windy foods out of my diet (no difference), cranial osteopath, dummy - you name it). At 8 months he still sleeps on his tummy.

Good luck. It does get better.

to put the science in perspective the reason cot death figures are so low now is because babies have been put on their back to sleep there was a massive reduction when this advice was introduced

smoking has now become a bigger risk factor because others have been eliminated such as sleeping on your front, sleeping in your own room etc etc

at the end of the day you have to make a decision based on the risk/benefit
if you have the baby in your room, breastfeed, do not allow the baby to overheat by using sleeping bag, don't smoke etc then you are reducing all of those risks so increasing the risk by front sleeping is just one area

I know a surprisign number of people who have had to give in and allow tummy sleep. I think it is like co-sleeping - there's a lot more going on than HVs think.

the worry is mainly that they are too young at that age to move their heads and necks sufficietnly if there was soem kind of blockage but you will be keeping all blankets away from his face anyway.

I would do it. Our dd was just like some other posters here describe - on her back in pain and screaming the entire time, on her front a dream and a great sleeper. You will want to keep checking on him but frankly he will be much happier too. We were far more relaxed about putting dd2 on her front.

Good luck with it - it is a very difficult decision but the chances are it will be fine.