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Original poster

Worried that this sleep regression will never end!

20 replies

MaryJane54331 · 14/10/2020 04:01

My 8 month old twins slept perfectly from 3-6 months. They were doing up to 12 hours per night and it was amazing. But about 6 weeks ago they started waking multiple times throughout the night. Tonight I've been up about 10 times. They will go back to sleep after a few minutes if I hold their hands, but just wake up again 10 minutes to half an hour later. I don't really know how to deal with this as they were always so easy before... I'm using white noise but that doesn't seem to be helpful. Does anyone have any advice please? I am so tired Sad

OP posts:
orangejuicer · 14/10/2020 04:08

Sorry no advice - 22mo and 4th wake up of the night so far. It's so hard Flowers

Is the temperature in their room ok? If he's cold it wakes DS up.

Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 14/10/2020 04:15

Oh my goodness @orangejuicer you really have my sympathies Sad
I don't think I could survive nearly 2 years of sleep deprivation!

Funnily enough this did start when the temperature dropped, though I keep the heating on 19 through the night. Their little hands do feel cold. They are well wrapped up in long sleeved vests, sleepsuits and 2.5 tog sleeping bags so I don't want to add too much more warmth. It also started when I introduced solids so I wonder if that could be it. It's just so frustrating because they clearly can do it, and they did for 3 months.

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 14/10/2020 04:32

It's just so frustrating because they clearly can do it, and they did for 3 months.

Everything with sleep is a phase. My DD first slept through at 18 months. Did it for a week, then hit a series of regressions/teething and didn't do it again for nine months! Just roll with the punches.

AluminumMonster · 14/10/2020 05:29

Also up with my 1 year old umpteen times last night asking myself when this sleep regression phase will pass!!

The only thing I see from your post is they could potentially be too warm? There are some variances in the charts but they maybe don't need long sleeve vest and sleepsuit, one or the other.

MrsMaglev · 14/10/2020 05:32

Up for the sevrnth time with my 4 month old! No advice just solidarity. My older child didn't sleep through regularly at any point so I can imagine you must be feeling frustrated. If one wakes up does that wake up the other one?

Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 14/10/2020 06:50

It's not a fun club to be part of is it! I'm so tired I feel drunk...

The only thing I see from your post is they could potentially be too warm?
If anything they feel very cool to the touch, which is odd because as you say they should be very warm.

If one wakes up does that wake up the other one?
Usually yep Sad
Nightmare

OP posts:
bumpyknuckles · 14/10/2020 07:05

There's nothing worse on these sleep threads than people who say 'ha, you think YOU've got it bad, my TRIPLETS only slept for 10 MINUTES a night for TWENTY YEARS!' Unhelpful and unkind.

OP, I had (have) a non-sleeper and it sucks. It really sucks. Twins must be double crap. The one thing I can tell you is that sleep went through phases with mine. Sometimes she woke up constantly and I thought I was going mad. Then, a few weeks later she'd only wake up a couple of times a night for a couple of weeks. No bad phase lasted more than a couple of weeks.

The only thing which got me through was prioritising my sleep over everything else. I used to go to bed at 8 and my husband would sit downstairs with her until midnight and then hand her over. I also used to hand her over to visiting relatives and then go for a nap for an hour. At the weekend I used to have a long lie in at least one morning and my husband would look after the baby. I aimed for 5 hours of sleep in 24 hours (often in small bits) - I could function on that! I also co-slept so I could shush/feed her back to sleep without getting up.

She is now 2 and wakes up 1 or 2 times a night. Sleep definitely improved at 18 months. Having a non-sleeper is lonely and horrible OP, but it DOES get better (I promise)

orangejuicer · 14/10/2020 07:24

I hope that post wasn't aimed at me bumper as it certainly wasn't my intention to derail the thread that way.

I know how hard it is to have a child who doesn't sleep through, I can't imagine how bad it is with two.

We've got used to it now and just try to catch up.on sleep when we can. In the early days we used to sleep in shifts.

Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 14/10/2020 09:55

Thank you all for the responses and solidarity. It is good not to feel alone. Unfortunately I've had a massive row with DH followed by another one with my mum Blush

DH will sometimes occasionally stay up until 2 or 3am and do the first bit, but I've said just maybe once a month could I please have a lie in. I was basically told no. I then called mum for a chat to make me feel better, and she said I've brought this on myself because it started when I introduced a proper nap routine. I lost it when she suggested I keep them awake all day with no naps at all.

I don't know what to do now really. She probably has a point about the nap routine. They get about an hour twice per day, with 3 hour wake windows, which I thought was good. But maybe they have stopped associating their cots with night time. They're currently down for a nap actually rolling around squealing in the travel cot downstairs. Maybe I should try to rebuild the association with their cot and night time. I don't know :( I have a feeling that travel cot naps aren't going to work. Oh well, it feels like there isn't much to lose now anyway. Sorry for the huge moan. I'm just so tired Sad

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 14/10/2020 10:41

DH will sometimes occasionally stay up until 2 or 3am and do the first bit, but I've said just maybe once a month could I please have a lie in. I was basically told no.

How the fuck does he justify that? Are they not equally his children? Is looking after them all day not a full time job (hint: it is, which is why childcare is a profession)? Lazy bastard. I hope you verbally tore him a new one.

And your mum can bog off too. There is no magic bullet with baby sleep- if there were we'd have cracked it centuries ago and everyone would be doing the same thing. Babies are all different and what worked for her will not necessarily work for you. Solidarity.

herewegoagain20 · 14/10/2020 10:45

Hey OP, my real sympathies- I had a rubbish sleeper and 2nd is currently in the throes of the 4 month regression.

But I just want to share this - https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/amp/ which helped me.

8 months for many babies is the worst period for sleep in the first year. It's NOTHING you've done, you're doing great. What you're experiencing is normal.

So tell your mum to bog off and your husband to step up.

Thanks and Brew for you

Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 14/10/2020 13:45

Thank you both so much, your replies actually made me cry a little bit because it's so nice to be listened to and not criticised!

I know @FourPlasticRings, I am livid with him. It's really disappointing as he's always been very supportive generally.

@herewegoagain20 that's very reassuring to hear, thanks so much. I will have a look at the link now Smile

OP posts:
CattyP89 · 15/10/2020 21:08

@MaryJane54331 my partner is similar. He’s working 10 hour shifts 5 days a week and likes to remind me of this as if I sit around doing nothing all day,And if he takes DD out for a walk so I can rest it’s like he’s doing me a favour. DD (she’s my first) was a great sleeper but now is 5 months and is not sleeping as well. Like people say it is just a phase. All I can suggest is that I try and wear her out as much as possible playing and practising rolling etc and I try not to let her nap too much in the day but that works for me. No one has the right to tell you how to be a mum so please don’t let them. It’s hard being a first time mum but trust your instincts, accept not all things will work, most things are a phase and you grew a human so lack of sleep will be a walk in the park. you aren’t the only mum to go through so it’s not a reflection on you. Step back take a deep breath you’ve got this xx

NomiVentura · 16/10/2020 06:28

Im in a similar boat with DD. OH started back to working 6am til 2pm each day and its killing me. DD is 7.5 months old and her last good sleep was 20th July!

She usually naps for about 30 mins every 2 to 3 hours. Any more than 30 mins is a bonus. Each night shes up every 1.5 to 2 hours. She sleeps in her own room now in a short sleeved bodysuit, sleepsuit and 2.5 tog sleep bag and in a sleepyhead as its the only thing thats allowed us to put her down without going nuts once down.

We introduced a bedtime routine which has been stuck to but barely any sleep improvements. HV said it wont last forever but Im like when WILL it end?? Any mommas have any tips? tia x

Toontown · 16/10/2020 06:35

I was so tired with DS1 (awake every 20 minutes for about 4 months) that I accidentally let him cry it out one night he cried for about 20 minutes then didn't wake up again. The next night I was so relieved that I let him cry again. Only criedfor about 5 mins and from then on slept through. It changed my life as prior to that I was a miserable sleep deprived moody mother. I then got to enjoy him again. For the next two kids I did the same on purpose. Best decision I ever made for all of us.

Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 16/10/2020 06:50

Sending lots of coffee and sympathy to the other tired mums out there! Flowers And thank you for the support. I've currently got twin 1 sleeping next to me in my bed as I just could not re-settle her in her own room after 4 o clock... Probably making a rod for my own back, but I was aching to get back into bed even if not to sleep!

@Toontown thank you for sharing that, I've been wondering about "sleep training". I think I'm too weak to do it but it depends how desperate I get. Brilliant that you did it accidentally, how lucky was that Grin

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Original poster
MaryJane54331 · 16/10/2020 06:53

Oops pressed send too soon, I meant to say how brutal those 4 months must have been... I don't know how anyone survives on so little sleep Sad Can't imagine how relieved you must have been when you were finally getting some rest.

OP posts:
Doona141 · 16/10/2020 07:03

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Yorkshiredolls · 17/10/2020 19:38

Hi love no advice but solidarity. my 8 month old is going through the same. An exceptional sleeper for night and naps from about 8 weeks with no real regressions. Then hit 7 months and its all gone wrong. he used to self settle for naps and night time and many nights slept through 7-7. Hes crawling and practically needs pinning down now and is waking in the night twice and insisting on night feeds again. Naps have gone to shit too today hes had 2x 30 minutes. Hes knackered 😔

Yorkshiredolls · 17/10/2020 19:41

Sorry hes only up a couple of times so its no where near as bad compared to your 10 but its so frustrating when you know theyre capable of sleeping well because they did it for months and now they just wont/cant

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