Newborn DS fell asleep with face partially covered - worried!

[pocketrocket87]

Hi All,

Hope you are all well.

Looking for some re-assurance and any tips to help my situation please.

Background: My DS was born two days ago and I also have a 19m old DD. The end of the pregnancy and first days with newborn DS have been challenging from the sleep front. At present DS refuses to sleep unless held and by some magic knows when he has been put down once asleep and lets us know he is not happy!

This got the better of DH and I last night. We have been taking it in rotation to care for DS. DS likes to sleeps on my DH chest - so in bed DH uses a loose dressing gown tied at his hips / over DS legs with no for security. Usually one of us is awake but we both fell asleep exhausted...

He woke to see DS had nuzzled his head into part of DH dressing gown partially covering DS head :-( When DH woke noticed this immediately checked DS was warm, not blue in lips, breathing well etc. It seems there was sufficient air flow but at 4am in the morning and a slight panic hard to remember the specifics.

I do not believe any harm has come to DS and am taking this as a warning sign. However DH is beside himself, blaming himself as a bad parent. He is great with me and the children but suffers from anxiety and is worried about potential oxygen deprevation. How can I reassure him?

DS is fine in colour, manner, feeding well (breastfeed), wet and full nappies and no different to the day before. But short of a full MRI think DH will be on edge for a few days / weeks at least! :-O

Does anyone have any tips for a child whom refuses to sleep in the moses basket? We never had this before with DD, and fear with exhaustion we may see another instance of falling asleep with DS.

Many thanks in advance!

Your baby is fine.

All 3 of mine slept on our chests or in our bed. They all hated the Moses basket.

Are you swaddling at night? We used a lightweight swaddle cloth and baby slept in one of the cribs that attach to your bed so they are in a safe sleeping zone but you can still cuddle them.

The issue is not the sleep but your husbands anxiety. Its not what happened but what he thinks about what happened. Get him to get CBT or talk to someone - it is not a catastrophe kids co-sleep all the time. In a few weeks he will transfer to his own bed I think. You can also try him in a Moses basket and just take turns to comfort while he settles. A few days but then he will probably learn you are there and he is safe. I am not advocating controlled crying btw.

Your baby is FINE. If babies were that fragile, there would be a lot fewer humans in the world. It sounds as though he would have been able to move his head a bit if he wasn't getting enough air, but was OK at that time. Totally understand the panic, though, as we have been there too.

However, have you looked at the kind of cots that sit alongside your bed, effectively extending it laterally? I had one for my second, and it made life a bit easier, plus less anxiety for us.

Fingers crossed you all start getting a lot more sleep soon!

Have you tried to swaddle him and if he likes to sleep on chests I would recommend a teddy that plays the heartbeat sounds. You can pick them up in smyths. Swaddled are great when they're not rolling around.

Look, your DS is fine now but you’ve learnt you can’t do that again. Either you need to look at safe co sleeping or take it in turns to sleep just until the newborn Velcro phase wears off

Congratulations by the way

I wouldn't worry about the situation that just happened, your son sounds fine. But I definitely think it's worth considering your routine, because it really isn't safe for your DS to sleep on one of you, if both of you are asleep. I would either persevere with the Moses basket, picking up and putting down/patting shushing until you're baby is calm. Or try swaddling, a dummy, next to me cot etc. But fail that, I'd look into safe co sleeping. That way you know you can all sleep well without worrying about what happened happening again!

Kts been 2 days. You need to give it time. Hes fine. There nothing to say to your dp to reassure him though.

It’s going to be okay. I’m not a medical professional but I think if the baby is reacting normally in every way, and was then, then he’s alright.

But I do suggest you check out “safe cosleeping”, eg at la Leche league or the Lullaby Trust and set your bed up for this. It is safer to assume one of you will fall asleep and prepare for the baby to sleep with you in a safe way. Sleeping on someone’s chest isn’t ideal - it’s easy for him to slide down one side where his breathing might be compromised under an arm, etc. Since you are breastfeeding, it would be better for you to sleep alongside him, curled round in a C shape, with the baby’s head at breast level, even if he’s not feeding. Dress warmly and wrap a blanket round your legs but not high enough to cover him.