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Gentle ways to stop rocking?

10 replies

mummymariee · 13/10/2020 05:09

Any gentle parents out there who follow Sarah ockwell smith? We are currently following her stop rocking scheme 🤞
Just wondering if you have followed this or one like this how you got on? And do you have any tips?
Thanks!

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 13/10/2020 05:18

Sorry, no- I'm not a huge fan of hers. But I shall bump for you.

mummymariee · 13/10/2020 06:38

May I ask why your not a fan?

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 13/10/2020 09:48

I spent some time on her Facebook group when my first was tiny and the methodology seems a tad wooly. There are a lot of folk on there with kids that have seriously poor behaviour but are excusing it as developmentally normal. You'd get people panicking because they'd snapped and had a bad reaction to something horrendous (kid punching a baby, intentionally peeing on the sofa repeatedly despite being six and potty trained for years etc.) because they didn't have planned reactions in place already, or the rote, 'I won't let you do that,' advised in the group wasn't stopping the behaviour and no other suggestions were forthcoming. The expectation that you hold firm boundaries whilst still offering no consequences beyond the natural for not falling in line (and even then only once past age five) yet lack of concrete suggestions on how to do that, especially if you've more than one child, seemed to be setting parents up to fail and be inconsistent.

I tend to be very attachment focussed myself with the under twos and try to be authoritative (not authoritarian) in general, so a lot of what she advises I do anyway, but I wouldn't follow her advice prescriptively. My biggest issue with the gentle thing is that the 'gentle parenting' method didn't seem to stand up to scrutiny. The group was an echo chamber and any dissenters/persistent questioners were swiftly deleted or shown the door. Generally I think if something can't bare scrutiny it's probably not very high quality.

mummymariee · 13/10/2020 10:04

I've read a couple of her books and I found them helpful but when I was on fb I did find the same, I asked for help on this rocking scheme and no one seemed to have the answers, they just sent a link to how to do it and that was that. We just need a little more guidance on how to-so just ignoring us isn't going to help!?
But thank you for your insight and for bumping!
Really hope someone else has tried to wean their 1 year old from rocking so they can give some insight!!! 😊 x

OP posts:
mummymariee · 14/10/2020 09:54

Bump

OP posts:
Dillybear · 14/10/2020 11:00

I don’t know if it’s helpful as I did this with my DD when she was four months old and I don’t know SOS’s method. Incidentally, I once listened to a bit of her book when I was walking my baby around all day for naps, and stopped when she spoke about how formula feeding mums shouldn’t cosleep because some of them “even” sleep with their backs to their baby! The horror! I remember being really put out by that as my DD was in a next to me cot by my bed, and you better believe I (a breastfeeding mum) turned my back to her, and put a pillow over my head to try and drown down the racket she made when she was sleeping! 🤣 I see a lot of people saying she’s non-judgmental but I felt that, amongst other things, was pretty judgmental. Also I found that a lot of what she wrote sounded convincing, but the more I thought about it the more I realised it was just her opinion dressed up as facts. I think there are lots of ‘experts’ like that, it’s not specific to her, but I think because she is so child led/gentle, people seem to scrutinise what she says a little less.

Anyway, rocking.

I introduced additional sleep associations like a comforter, shhhing, a lullaby I sing before every sleep, a consistent nap routine/bedtime routine, dark room & white noise. Once these were clear indications for sleep time, I reduced the rocking by using less and less movement as she got sleepy and eventually she started to fall asleep in my arms without movement. I then began to hold her in the cot, with her actually touching the cot and my arms around her. As she got used to that I took my arms further away and eventually we got to the point where I put her down and leave the room and she goes to sleep.

I can’t say there has been no crying. She did protest when things changed sometimes. She never was left to cry or was upset without being comforted, though. But I will leave her to have a whinge as she goes to sleep sometimes if she’s just overtired or cross etc. There’s such a difference between a cross cry and an I need you cry. I also found that she adapted quickly to begin with but then often a couple of days later she really got mad about a change to her routine, so I had to really persevere at that point.

mummymariee · 16/10/2020 03:56

Sorry for late reply @Dillybear thank you so much for your help! May I ask when you said about holding your baby in the cot, did you mean like hovering, or actually on the mattress? Xz

OP posts:
Dillybear · 16/10/2020 10:10

No worries! I hope it is helpful. I was initially holding her in the cot with my arms on the mattress but quickly this changed to holding my arms around her cradling her but her weight was on the mattress. I actually used a sleepyhead, but the principle would be the same if you did it in the cot. How is it going with your baby?

mummymariee · 16/10/2020 12:31

Well this is a lot harder to do this with a 1year old haha! He weighs 23lbs!!! Finding it hard at the mo as he's also transitioning between 2 to 1 nap!!!
Just wish we had started cutting down the rocking a lot younger! It was so hard to do so though as he's been teething since about 2 months old!!!! 😫😫

OP posts:
FourPlasticRings · 16/10/2020 16:56

Could you hold him on a birthing ball to rock to save your back? Or a rocking chair?

Could you transition from a cot to a floor bed so that you can lie next to him without having to bend over the cot to hold him?

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