4 month sleep regression

[Bakingmom]

Hi all, first time Mumsnet post here!
My DD is going through the dreaded 4 month sleep regression and wondering if anyone has some good tips? A little background, she’s 16 wks old, EBF. Before this last week, she was sleeping from 7/8pm to 8/9am with only two quick wake ups. We had managed to transition her to her crib after about a month of co-sleeping. This went so well & we were so happy that she was sleeping in her crib without any problems. Now she’s waking every hour for comfort & feeding. All day naps are in my arms or out & about in the car seat/pram. She will only nurse to sleep. I’m aware this & the lack of self soothing is probably the root of our problem now. Any help with getting baby to sleep without feeding & getting through the sleep regression without tears??? Tired & fustrated!

Bump

My only advice is that it's a normal phase and it will pass! It's perfectly natural to feed them the sleep when they're tiny. I found it a really handy way to get DS to sleep. He just grew out of it .. I think around 11 months. He is 17 months now and goes to sleep with cuddles and a bottle which works for us. The sleep regressions are tough, but they pass and they're perfectly normal and pretty unavoidable IMO.

Sounds perfectly normal, OP. What you've got to remember is that it's not actually normal for tiny babies to sleep through and we're one of relatively few cultures in the world that expect that behaviour.

This represents a change in the way your baby is sleeping- it's gone from the newborn sleep to a more adult sleep cycles which are only 45 minutes or so long, but don't link like adult cycles do until they're a little older. It's nothing you've done and you can't really fix it. Just roll with the punches and know that this, too, shall pass.

Following - we've been in a sleep regression/teething/cold/jabs nightmare combo for about 2.5 weeks and I'm averaging 45 minute naps at night.

I can't remember it being like this with my first! Also EBF yo sleep, DC2 just won't then be transferred to anywhere else to sleep than in my arms.

Whil bearing in mind it's all natural etc etc does anybody have ideas on how to help baby through this as quick as poss? The lack of sleep is really hurting now and I have DC1 to look after during the day too!

Whil bearing in mind it's all natural etc etc does anybody have ideas on how to help baby through this as quick as poss?

It's developmental, so much like you can't rush a baby to crawl before it's ready, you can't do much about this either. In my experience, co-sleeping was massively helpful at this point- if you're already there you don't need to wake as fully to get them sorted and the knowledge that you're there may relax them enough that they can even drop off on their own once in a while without crying awake.

The other alternative I can think of is to teach them not to cry for you via sleep training, but the NHS doesn't recommend this until at least six months and it does feel rather cruel to me personally.

Sounds like you got lucky with DC1- mine was like this from about week six through to about four months old.

Thanks @FourPlasticRings - I may have just blocked it out with DC1 though I think the night waking was just more like every other hour rather than every 30-40 minutes!

The nights we cosleep seem to be worse - either because she's got more room to wiggle about or because she can smell me more. I'm sure we'll all get there but sleep deprivation plus two young kids in a pandemic with no external support is bloody tough going!!

(Agreed on the crying it out stuff, couldn't with DC1 and wouldn't attempt with baby as young as DC2 is!)

@anothermamaaa we’ve also fed to sleep since birth, I don’t know another way to get her to go to sleep!
@FourPlasticRings yes to co-sleeping. I don’t mind it to get her through this tough phase, but look forward to getting my bed back and not having to sleep in silly positions.
While I know it’s developmental, it’s just frustrating feeling like she’s gone back to the newborn stage. She has also started refusing naps & getting really fussy when BF. I’m worried my supply is going to drop as she doesn’t seem to feed for longer than 10 minutes at a time & even then it’s a struggle to get her to calm down for it.
@MrsMaglev hope the regression ends soon!! It feels like it goes on forever doesn’t it!!

Try offering boob more frequently, OP. If she's getting angsty on there she's probably too hungry. You want to offer before she gets to that stage, ideally.

@Bakingmom it's what breastfeeding is designed to do! I know everyone says this and you're probably sick to death of hearing it but honestly, everything is a phase and it'll pass in a very short time in the scheme of things. I'm expecting another baby now and I think I'll definitely try to go with the flow and not worry so much with the next one, with the benefit of my recent experience with DS. Easier said than done though ofc!

@anothermamaaa ah congrats on the new baby! DD is my first so I guess I worry about everything. Hopefully this phase will pass soon, I’m definitely enjoying BF so don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.