How to teach a baby to go to sleep? Up all night and SO SO SO SO SO tired!

[Marshmellow]

My ds is 2 weeks old, slept really well for first week now seems incapable of getting self off to sleep day or night. He fed for hours last night, on and off for whole night and was basically using my breast as comfort until nodding off. He'd nod off, i'd put him in cot and then 20 mins later he'd scream! Wouldn't settle without boob! Whenever he is awake he does nothing but scream! even after a feed! I have two other children who already are fed up with the tears and not enjoying their baby brother atall. Even dh told me this morning that i should've listened when he said he didn't want any more children! I'd convinced myself that no3 would be a doddle (thats what i always seem to hear about no3 just "fitting in") but i feel a failure already because he is such hard work. How can i teach him to get to sleep, i can't sit with my breasts out 24/7. Please offer me some advice, i am so tired and want everyone to enjoy him and i want him to be happier.

Sorry, no advice, just support. And dare I ask if you've tried a dummy (in bed only of course)? DD has a dummy in bed and it helped her self settle no end.

I'm so sorry to hear it's so hard work, and it's very unfair of your dh to say what he did about not wanting any more babies!

You must be barely recovered from giving birth yourself, and you must be exhausted.

A solution is to keep the baby in bed with you. This certainly helped me get more sleep. Obviously you have to make sure the baby is safe in the bed with you, and I will look up a link on co-sleeping.

As for during the day - do you have a sling to carry your baby?

oh poor you, its so tiring isn't it. I can only tell you what worked for me a dummy

I KNOW, I KNOW they're the work fo the devil etc but my two were such "sucky" babies that they wouldn't settle unless they were on my boob

It worked a treat, they got to suckle, I got to rest and I enjoyed them sooo much more

Ther are some fab peopel on here who will no doubt give you excellent advice, but thats what worked for me

i dont think that you can teach a baby to sleep all night! i was lucky both of mine slept all night quite early on! but my sister recently wen through the same thing.

you should speak to your to your midwife about this my sister was told there was a hormone in her breast milk that stopped the baby feeling too sleepy andmore hungry at night!

as she was knackered (this had been going on about 4 months and she has a toddler to look after too) she decided to give him bottle milk at night when he woke and for his last feed before bed and found that he slept slighty better but still not right through

warm lavander baths help mine sleep longer when they are grissly or ill

Poor you, but he is only 2 weeks old, sorry to tell you this but dd1 did'nt sleep all night until she was 3 years yet dd2 slept through from 4 months.
Is there anyone who can come over and watch him for a while when you have a snooze?
Dd1 was always crying and hungry and it is exhausting, do you co sleep? I found co sleeping helpped as you can feed whilst half asleep.

here is advice on safety while co-sleeping, you have to scroll down.

It doesn't have to be forever, just a temperary solution to your lack of sleep.

Y'know, I can't remember exactly when I first gave DD a dummy (other than it was early on - about three I think), but I do know she's only ever had it in her cot and hands it to me when I go in to get her out (she's 16 months) - unless of course she's already thrown it accross the room.

Swaddling helped massively too - if she wasn't swaddled she used to cout herself in the head and wake herself up.

(LilRed hides behind MamaG)

I also think you should insist on an hour a day to yourself to rest, this would be far more helpful then your dh making comments on how he didn't want a third baby.

we used a combination of swaddling and a dummy in the early days. Sometimes we just held the dummy in the lo's mouth while they sucked until they dropped off - not forced it in, only took about 5-10 minutes and they slept whilst we held it and then dropped off into a deeper sleep so when it fell out they stayed asleep.
Hang on in there, I know you must be exhausted but try and get out once a day (I guess you probably are with 2 older ones), get as much help as possible and leave all the housework for now.

three weeks

OH I forgot all about swaddling! Yes, worked a treat with mine too

My other two never had dummies but having said that, i only had two children to contend with and i was in a position to rest during the day. I'm wondering whether to change to formula milk, don't really want to as breast fed the others for just over a year but wonder if that'll help him settle. I don't have a sling but have been watching the 'bringing up baby' programme with interest. Confused as to what his cries mean at this stage, if fed, nappy done and burped why is he still crying? Mainly, i think, because he's cross that i've taken away his sucky comfort! (my boob). I don't know why, but for some reason i view using a dummy as my inability to comfort him and that i've failed in some way (that is not a generalised statement at all, just how i feel about myself as i haven't used one with the other 2). It's making the whole family terribly miserable at the moment

And you're not a failure, you're only 2 weeks in and there is plenty of time for your baby to slot in with the rest of the family. Things don't usually fall into place until at least 8 weeks in , in my experience, so there is plenty of time for your dh to eat his words

oh, and to your DH

Marshmellow - it's not a failure to give him a dummy. You are just substituting your nipple for a piece of latex. It means you can put your breasts undercover for a while . You are still comforting him - he likes to suck, whether on a breast or dummy, it's still his comfort of choice.

In no way am I suggesting that you gaffer tape it to his head but do try it. As LucyJones said you may have to hold it for him at first, but then you can sit down and have a cuppa!

Can i just add that i 'm not after a solution to make him sleep all night, i'd just like a little bit of respite inbetween feeds. Even 2 hourly at night would be great rather than this whole "feed", "burp" and "scream" thing!!

Boots do a brand called "nubby" which are sooo cute

tjheyu are clear nad you can see their tiny lips and tongue suckling away

Gorgeous

Do try, it saved my sanity

oh don't feel a failure
You have erratic hormones all over the place, you are knackered, yo're dh isn't being terribly supportive, it's okay to admit that you're struggling.
How old are the older children? Have you got family anf friends who will take them out for a while? Or if at school help with the school run, play dates after school etc?

Maybe get DH to give him a bottle of formula at about 11pm and breastfeed the remainder of the time. You can sleep, DH can bond and DS gets fed - alround happiness.

I'd rather try the dummy than switch to formula at this stage. If you only use a dummy at night, what happens about day time sleeping? or is it that you only use the dummy when in the cot?

Or (if you don't want to give formula) if you can work up the energy to express this nighttime bottle for DH to give.

use the dummy all the time if it makes life easier!

I agree about not switching to formula at this stage, chances are it won't help and may only cause more problems.

If you don't want to co-sleep, have you tried raising the head end of the cot?

I only use it in the cot. DD has Bunny and dummy when she goes to sleep. When she gets up, she leaves them in bed. She's down for her morning nap now with them

My other two are school age but dd2 finishes at 12 so my whole day is spent rallying around the countryside. i have no family around where i live and dh goes away an awful lot on business. Had hoped he would come home to a bit of peace and tranquility, not stroppiness about how it was me that wanted the baby so how dare i moan about tiredness.