At breaking point

[letsdothis123]

Hello. I really need help. I have a couple of issues and will try and be as to the point as possible.

Issue 1-
Our 18 month old son is a terrible sleeper. There is no one issue. To summarise, he can wake anytime from midnight and is just upset and crying. He's always done this, it isn't a phase or teething. We do have some ok nights but 70% of the time he'll wake up, cry for up to an hour and sometimes longer. We've just had another baby and we need to get it under control. Our strategy used to be to leave him for 3, 5 then 10 minutes. Going in, settling him down and then leaving. He'd wake the minute we stepped away from his cot. This could go on for hours. We're about to move him back into his own bedroom (see issue / info 2) and feel like we need a new strategy. Our friend said we should just go in each time he stands up and lye him down then leave and do this repeatedly (she said by leaving him he's just going to get more worked up). That makes sense... but we just feel lost. Lately (because he's been in our bed) we've not even been sticking to a specific strategy so we're ripe to implement a new one. He's not a problem going to bed, is a dream in this respect- no issues.
Advice please people? ❤️

Issue/info 2-
Our 18 month old son has been sleeping in our bedroom since June because of building work going on at home. We need to transfer him into his own room again (this week). Any tips on making this transition good? As it stands, his bedtime routine is good but we do it in our bedroom. Ie out of the bath, into our room for milk and changing before he goes in his bedroom/bed. I did think would doing his bedtime in his own room be better? Maybe make him more at ease in there.

Thanks so much xx

Extra info -

He naps once a day, usually from 11-1/1.30

Bump

Hello, this sounds hard. Just to make sure you have the basics in place I’d make sure his room is dark, with some loud white noise to help him resettle and you’ve checked the temperature as that can often cause night wakes.

I would personally then go in the first time and say ‘its sleep time now’ and lie him down and then leave the room. After 6 minutes or however long you’re comfortable for, if he’s standing up or crying I’d go back in, lay them back down and leave again the room for 12 minutes (double the original time). I’d keep doing this until they stop standing and go to sleep. The first couple of nights will be long and hard but after 3 days the habit should be broken and he should start sleeping better.

With transitioning to his own room, I would just try and get him used to the space by playing in there during the day and trying to give him his daytime naps in there before an overnight sleep if that’s possible. A few familiar toys should help along with maybe a new book that you can snuggle into bed and read together