Why can’t I get it right

[Mrspbodyandsherman]

My daughter turns 7 months this week and I just can’t get it right with sleeping.

Back story- she’s ebf, she’s never slept through the night, she wakes every 3 hours in the night from sometimes to feed sometimes for the dummy and sometimes just to moan. We co-sleep, she has a cot but I can’t seem to get her to even stay still in it let alone sleep in it.

She seems tired all the time. But she’s just so active she can’t relax or switch off she’s distracted by everything so falling to sleep is a struggle. They say follow her sleep cues but that’s what I thought I was doing and 8/10 I just don’t seem to be getting it right.
If I’m not with her for the whole sleep she will wake sooner than she’s ready. So I can’t get anything done whilst she naps. And once she goes to bed I’m stuck in the bed too and have to creep out and rush around to do anything before bed whilst my partner is with her With his hand on her so she doesn’t realise I’m gone.

I don’t want to cry it out. But for my mental health I need a routine. She needs a routine. I need her to sleep independently. I’m at my wits end. I’ve paid for ‘just chill mamas’ course. Had no hope with it just wasted £50 lol. I don’t know what to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions because I’ve cried more this week then I have in months, I’m
Exhausted, I’m mentally struggling and I’ve had enough.

I found introducing a formula feed before her morning nap really helped. Before I did that my DD would never nap in her cot independently. It had to be out in the buggy. Just four ounces about three hours after waking in the morning. I was EBF but it didn't seem to induce the same deep sleep. I can't say the same for bedtimes and I am still BF through the night. I too am exhausted by it, but this morning nap has been a real help, just to have that hour. This started happening around 8 to 8.5 months. Good luck, they say it just gets easier over time. Don't worry, you're doing great. All babies are different.

What's your nap routine like?

I found that age really hard sleep wise - its a key development time and often reflects in their sleep.

You poor thing. I vividly remember how hard it was at that age. It does get easier.

Tell yourself that things should get easier by 9 months, which will help mentally hopefully. I agree with a pp that at 9 months a ff before a nap will help.
You cant carry on longterm with baby needing to be near you for every sleep, it will drive you crazy.
I dont have any tips for changing things, sorry, I think I've blocked it all out tbh. I was 4 months pregnant when my first was your age though, so had to change things and I remember googling madly for ideas and there are alot of good suggestions around.

I would say that when your baby is that age you feel like any little thing you do differently (ff, leaving them to cry for a tiny bit etc) will damage them for life! But the7 really arent going to remember any of it tbh. I was asking my 6 year old yesterday if he had any memories of when he was 2 or 3 and, although he thought hard, the only thing he could come up with was that he remembered when he poo'd in the bath!!
If you introduce a ff, you've got the benefit of being able to go out whilst your OH puts baby down for a nap. That's what we had to do, because I had to be rested and sane for new baby.
Your mental health is important, ask your partner for help, baby tends to want them a little less and can nap better for them!

As with it all, each stage, it shall pass.

My frantic googling I did with my first gradually decreased and things do get easier.
Hang in there, you can do this

It's not your fault. You aren't doing anything wrong. Baby sleep is tricky hence why we are all here.

There's a lot to be said for the 1950s advice the midwives gave out - put the baby in the pram in the garden and get them out for feeding every 4 hours. None of this obsessing over awake times.

I speak as someone who has obsessed over awake times.

Have you tried the Huckleberry sleep app? (It's free).

I have found regular nap times a game changer in DS's day. Before using the app I was trying to put him down before he was ready (he cried) or left it too long so he was that overtired he wouldn't go to sleep (again he cried).

After logging a few days of sleep it predicts a "sweet spot" time for naps & honestly it's hardly ever wrong in my experience.

Completely changed things for us. We no longer have a "witching hour" in the evening which turns out was just because we were keeping him awake too long.

Worth a try?

I second trying the huckleberry app! I don’t use it anymore but it gave me a really good idea of when I should be putting DD down & it turned out to be much sooner than I would have done.

@June628

I second trying the huckleberry app! I don’t use it anymore but it gave me a really good idea of when I should be putting DD down & it turned out to be much sooner than I would have done.

Same. Sometimes it really surprised me.

I'd be thinking "why are you being grouchy" and hadn't realised it'd been so long since last nap. Time flies with a little one.

Thanks everyone, She’s never been amazing at getting to sleep as she’s so busy and just has to see everything but the last 10 days or so she has really fought the sleep with tears and genuinely upset, it’s been tough. I think she’s just getting a bit older and I’m obviously missing the signs and not realising until it’s too late.

I’ve downloaded the app and have started tracking what sleep/feeds/eating since this afternoon.

Now we’ve started at groups and socialising with other mums and babies and you see all these wonderful babies with their fab routines who sleep through the night and I have no idea what time I’m going to bed that night it can make you feel quite deflated!