4 month old baby only feeds well while drowsy or asleep

[SoraSky]

Hi all,

This is my first time posting on here! I have regularly browsed old posts though since my ds was born!

Anyway, he is now 4 months olds and since about 3 months- we have been having some feeding issues. That’s being, he only wishes to eat properly (more than 5 minutes) when drowsy (just before sleep or just waking up). When awake, he may occasionally latch on, other times not at all. If he does latch, he will wait impatiently for one letdown and then get fussy working for another and come off.

He has refused a bottle since 3 weeks old. But, last week we managed to get him to take a bottle for two consecutive days (when he was just waking up) but then, he began to refuse those again.

I’m just wondering, has anyone else been through this? Will the sleep feeding ever end? I can deal with it for a little longer... but, I’m just wondering what’s going to happen when he gets older- if he doesn’t somehow grow out of this behaviour, how will I feed him at 6,7,8 months?!

Thanks for listening and thanks in advance for your replies.

Sorry OP not much advice but didn't want to read and run.

Both mine have been similar. I think it's very common for them to feed for longer when asleep/sleepy. My 7 month old still does this (especially in the early hours).
I can't fully remember when but my (now) three year old stopped but he did so it does happen and there is light!

What's the issue you have with it? Is it just being stuck feeding for so long? Or that you don't think he's getting enough?

Also both mine were bottle refusers 😭 my eldest took the bottle finally about 11/12 months

Thanks so much for the reply cactusdog.

It’s nice to know that others have had similar experiences and that it may be something he grows out of.

Mainly, it’s just that, I have to keep making him sleep or drowsy and then feed him. It’s very hard to be out somewhere, because he may flat out refuse, get fussy or have a short feed.

I’m just concerned that he’s not going to enjoy feeding while awake again, like he used to. It doesn’t seem to comfort him anymore.

Who knows? Babies are hard! But, I do hope that he will grow out of it like yours.

Thanks for your response!

My bottle fed baby done this from about 1 month old until 4 months old and then she just grew out of it!
She wouldnt feed awake and if she did it was like something was wrong or bothering her, it upset me so much.
I once fed her while she was asleep and it took her an hour to finish her bottle but that was the only way she would feed

I think I read that they go through a big leap developmentally about that age too where they start to notice all their surroundings so are much more easily distracted and would prefer to look around than eat!

I gave my first a bottle while out because of it and he preferred it as he could have it and still look around.
Second DS I haven't bothered, I just let him get on with it and feed him when I can 😆 which is often during the night 😭

He will grow out of it though I promise. Sounds like you're doing great x

@SoraSky did your baby grow out of this?

My 4-month-old is the same and has been for at least a month!

While he’s awake he just doesn’t seem interested in feeding. He’ll latch on for a few minutes, if I’m lucky, but will frequently unlatch and look around and try to dodge the breast. After about five minutes he’ll reject it outright. It’s like he’s more interested in looking around than feeding, even when it’s first thing in the morning and he’s not fed for 4+ hours.

I have to wait until he’s getting sleepy for a nap, and then breastfeed him. He’ll latch better and after a few minutes he’ll fall asleep and keep feeding for half an hour or more.

It’s also impossible to get him to nap without feeding - so the two are inextricably linked.

I’m worried he won’t grow out of it and weaning will be a nightmare.

He was born on the 70th centile for weight and now seems to have stabilised on the 25th. But it’s such a battle to make him keep eating enough!

I am struggling with the same issues and wondered how yours resolved?

@Smonag01 I'm having similar issues and would love to know how this resolved. It's so tricky isn't it. Have you had any progress since you posted?

They haven’t really. We did the Rowena Bennett programme for bottle aversion which has helped but he keeps regressing. He will now take a few ounces awake and if I can, I feed him the rest just before his nap. I have had input from a dietician and a SALT and they said it can take time to sort, particularly as my son had bad reflux and CMPA. We’ve also started on solids which is helping. He likes them and they seem to be helping the reflux. I’ve also tried to just let go of my anxiety round it all a bit and feed him however he is comfortable.

Hi. Would love some updates as we're in a similar situation. Weight gain is going fine but the behaviour stresses me out!

Sorry it's still hard for you @Smonag01 . Did you adapt the book for breastfeeding? Or have you switched to bottles? Have you cut all dairy out of your diet? And what about soy? Sometimes CMPA react to soy protein too? I had this all with my first so it's not my first time dealing with difficult feeding behaviours.

This time I can't work out what the issue is. I've got the book by Rowena but not sure what to do as I've also cut dairy from my diet and waiting for that to maybe have an impact.

@Louise0410 he’s actually bottle fed and been on Neocate since he was 8 weeks old. Also Omeprazole as he has really bad reflux. I can see the milk/ meds make feeding more comfortable for him but I think there is an underlying aversion from the pain he had for quite a few weeks before we resolved it. That’s what our SALT thinks. She also thinks his gut issues aren’t fully resolved yet. We’ve tried everything - Rowena improved things for a couple of days but then he regressed and it’s been like that ever since - he’ll have a few days feeding ok and then back to being aversive. I think his reflux is still partly to do with it. We’ve now started solids and I do think this is helping. Reflux is a lot better and he seems so much more settled. He’s napping and sleeping well too. He’s more receptive to the bottle so I let him take a few ounces and then feed him the rest before his naps. But I’m just so pleased that (so far) he likes solids and is drinking water happily from an open cup.

what are your issues?

@Smonag01 you situation is so similar to my first born experience 5 years ago (but we could never get him to take Neocate). You've done so well to get to the point of introducing solids and for us it was a massive game changer. My son grew out of his allergies by 18 months and now eats really well with not a sign of any of the struggles from the beginning. He's above average height and weight - thriving after those initial months of his faltering growth.

This time I have another tricky feeder who just seems to hate breastfeeding. I can only really get him to sleep feed but he is growing well and mostly happy. I don't think it's the same issues as my firstborn but who knows. I'm waiting for an appointment next week to discuss what next. A bit part of me wonders if he just feels pressured to feed rather than it being something medical. I'm going to read Rowena's book and try to adapt for breastfeeding. We will see ...

Good luck with your journey. Some hours/days/weeks are much harder than others but I promise that with CMPA and reflux you are reaching a turning point and it will all be a distant memory (I wouldn't have had another if I had remembered all of this vividly from first time around)

Hi! I was just reading this thread and was shocked at the similarities. My baby now 10 weeks was initially breastfed then as she got older she started to refuse my breast so I am strictly pumping. She use to take the bottle happily but then all of the sudden hated it. I now have to make her drowsy to take her bottle. If she’s fully awake she will fight and scream. What’s happening? Does it go away? I dread feeding her everyday.

Can I message you about this issue? Has it resolved?

Sure, no probs!

It did finally resolve. He’s almost a year now, and it resolved when he was around 8 months I think?

He’s weaning off milk now anyway, and is down to two feeds a day, but for the last four months or so he’s had decent feeds and I’m confident he’s got what he needs. He’ll just stay on until he’s had enough and then come off, none of this on-and-off business.

I think the problem was that unless he was very sleepy, he just didn’t have the patience to breastfeed because he wanted to look around everywhere! Now he’s much more mobile and he knows he can explore and investigate whenever he wants, so he’s happy to sit there and feed without getting distracted.

Also, at this age milk feeds are generally shorter anyway because they can get more milk in less time.

So, yes, it will resolve - might just take a few months.

Oops sorry just realised this isn’t my thread and you weren’t talking to me 😅🤦🏻‍♀️

Hi there - I’m having this problem. Breastfeeds were so short and snacky I never felt he’d had a good feed so started pumping for bottles in the day to give myself a bit more structure. Fine at first but now he will only take these when going down for a nap. It feels so unsustainable and so hard - I just want to go back to BF. What happened with you? Thanks so much

Hi @Newmom33 did you find a solution at all?

I stayed strictly pumping. I found out my baby had a bottle aversion and had to go through an intense program. I didn’t bother trying to get her back on the breast, she never enjoyed it much anyway. I still feed before naps but she will also take bottles when she’s fully awake. It all depends when her last time of her feed was I’ll feed 3.5-4 hours before a feed and if it happens before a nap I will feed her then.

Thank you @Newmom33 … was that the Rowena Bennett one? I’ve wondered if that’s our issue. I think probably I’m offering before he’s hungry (150 every 3h in the day). Also he was a snacker on the breast which is probably the way he likes to eat

Very close. I worked with the bottle aversion coach you can check her out on instagram. My baby is a snacker too, she only takes large volumes if she’s drowsy. Sometimes she takes big volumes but on occasion.