Sharing bed with baby

[Nosser]

I've just discovered this website and am so relieved to find it! We have a 5-month-old baby boy, and have shared the bed with him since he was 2 months old. As with a lot of you, he was feeding a lot at night, and I just used to doze off while feeding him in bed. I really like the arrangement, and it feels so totally natural. But, like everyone else it seems, lots of friends and family clearly don't approve and imply that we'll pay for it later. Why does it seem such a crime?! It's really great to hear people's good experiences. Now that he's on solids he doesn't wake to feed quite so much at night, although there are always exceptions (and he does like his quick snacks, rather than one good feed).
We haven't even got a cot at the moment (he slept in a crib in the first two months, now much too small for him) - but as I think we might get one soon (I would like to start trying to get him to sleep without relying on me next to him, for the same reasons as Nusch), can anyone recommend which make is the best to fit next to the bed? Thanks.

Nosser, I wish I had heard about the Brio cot which has about 27 positions for the mattress and one side of which lifts right up and over, before we had our son! This cot costs about £199 but it is beautifully made, like all Brio products, and usually wins all the prizes for adaptability etc. I know several mums who have one and they are extremely happy with it.
Good luck.

Nosser - can you give me the address of that website you mentioned? Thanks.

Belated addition to this discussion. We decided after reading Deborah Jackson's book about sharing a bed that we would like to have our baby girl sleep with us. After a few months, we acquired a Bed Side Bed which, like the Brio cot mentioned, had an adjustable height which enabled us to extend our bed by several feet and at the same time give our baby girl her own space whilst still being in our bed so to speak. It was brilliant and I really recommend it to anyone wanting to share a bed with their baby. The down side was that she could smell the milk on me (she slept my side) and so at around 15 months, after mega sleep deprivation, my partner and I decided to change sides and start the process (following Ferber of sleep training fame) of stopping night feeds with a view to getting a bit of sleep. We decided in the end that she needed to sleep apart from us and so over a period of 3 months we put up the side on her cot and gradually moved the cot, bit by bit, out of our room and into hers next door. Alongside this we tried to get her used to no night feeds and going to sleep on her own. A long haul but worth it!

Cherrian,

I was interested in your experience. I'm starting to wonder when we'll need to get to that stage with my daughter. She sleeps totally in the bed now, but feeds maybe 4/5 times between 7 and 7, and is getting quite restless. Was it that you found that getting her away from you was the only way to stop the feeds? I spoke to someone the other day who had succeeded in stopping feeds but keeping her baby in the bed (father slept between them for a few days and he was offered water instead of milk) - has any one else tried this (successfully or otherwise)?

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Thanks for the advice about the Brio cot. Think we'll check it out. In the meantime, my baby has miraculously stopped feeding so much at night - after a good feed between 7-8pm, then a feed at 10.30-ish, I don't feed him again until 7am. He does wake up once in the night, but I don't feed him then anymore. He went 8 hours without feeding about a week ago, and I'd read somewhere that if they can do it once, not to feed them at that time again, so I have decided not to feed him when he wakes up, and rock him back to sleep. He is now waking up less, and we all get more sleep - and he is still lying right next to me so it can be done! Have faith Nusch! It does help that it's been holiday time, and less pressure on all of us to make sure we get more sleep (I was automatically feeding when he woke up, just to get him back to sleep and keep him quiet).

Eulalia - I was referring to the mumsnet website, as it was my first surf on this wonder site!

Hi - just thought I would tell you how I am getting on. Well miracles of miracles my boy has started going to sleep in his cot at night! He'd rarely used it (more of a playpen than anything) but I always had it in the bedroom. He has slept in it a couple of times for daytime naps. Anyway last week he wouldn't settle so I put him in the cot and he just lay down and went to sleep almost immediately. This is the fifth consecutive night and tonight I even went out of the room and he put himself to sleep. Each time it has only taken minutes.

OK the catch is that he doesn't stay in there - he tends to wake 1.5-2 hours later and wants into my bed but this is usually when I am going to bed anyway so it works out OK. Also this morning I put him in the cot at 6.30 am (too restless next to me) and he fell asleep again. So I would say that he is making the transition to his own bed on his own. Just goes to show that the theory that they will never learn to fall asleep on their own is a myth. It does happen, eventually, if you are prepared to wait for it. He's just turned 21 months.