Toddler suddenly only wanting mummy

[OhToBeASeahorse]

DS is nearly 2. Suddenly he is difficult to settle at night and is crying for me. This would be fine but I'm due baby number 2 next month and I'm aware I'm not going to be able to always go to him. But hearing him cry for me is breaking my heart.
Do I just let DH go to him and hope DS accepts that? Or do I go to him and figure out everything else later?

I never understand why on earth you would not just do what your natural instinct is telling you to do and what you know your son needs.

If he wants to, just go and comfort him.

It's likely just a phase.

Agree it is just a phase, but your husband is a perfect substitute.

@Anordinarymum

Agree it is just a phase, but your husband is a perfect substitute.

In theory yes but this doesn't always work in practice.

After around 8pm DS will get hysterical if DH goes in, he just wants mummy.

Frustrating and tiring, but they're only going once

Fairly normal phase for that age. If you can go to him, go to him! Don't worry about what might happen when you have your baby, for now, you go to him if he calls you.

I have three DC. They have all, at various ages, preferred one of us or the other at night, unless we're not there, if they call for one of us that one goes.

I think if mummy only ever goes to baby then mummy will always be what baby wants. Baby has daddy too and it's a family.

This article gives great perspective on the issue:

www.janetlansbury.com/2015/02/when-children-prefer-one-parent/

@Anordinarymum

I think if mummy only ever goes to baby then mummy will always be what baby wants. Baby has daddy too and it's a family.

Hmmm, when you figure out how a DH can go to baby and breastfeed let me know.

ScarMatty aren't you the clever dicky :)

@Anordinarymum thanks. I'm sure it is a phase and you are right that DH is a perfectly.good substitute. I'm just now worried about what might happen if I need to stay in hospital with the baby or something. I dont want DS distressed and up til now he has been perfectly happy with either of us. I've got a lot on my plate atm and I would hate DS to suffer.

@Anordinarymum

ScarMatty aren't you the clever dicky :)

@ScarMatty please dont derail my thread with a discussion about irrelevancies like breastfeeding. DS hasnt been breastfed for a long time, that isnt an issue.

@greytminds that was a helpful read, thanks. DH's attitude is certainly the same, DS needs to know that sometimes it will be daddy and that is ok and daddy can reassure him as much as I can.

[quote OhToBeASeahorse]@ScarMatty please dont derail my thread with a discussion about irrelevancies like breastfeeding. DS hasnt been breastfed for a long time, that isnt an issue.[/quote]
I was joking. Calm down.

No, jokes are funny.

[quote OhToBeASeahorse]@Anordinarymum thanks. I'm sure it is a phase and you are right that DH is a perfectly.good substitute. I'm just now worried about what might happen if I need to stay in hospital with the baby or something. I dont want DS distressed and up til now he has been perfectly happy with either of us. I've got a lot on my plate atm and I would hate DS to suffer.[/quote]
Babies go through phases of sleeping and then not sleeping. Sometimes they just want you for wanting's sake. I expect you will all be OK. If baby is put to bed by daddy he will know mummy is not there. They are not daft :)

Yes that's true, maybe it is because I am here. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow evening, maybe I leave early for it so it's just DH putting him.to bed.

I dont want him to resent the baby for taking his mummy.away!

I think that’s a good idea. We followed some advice we were given which was to let DH do 3-4 bedtimes and for the first couple of nights I left the house. We had a chat about it beforehand - explained mummy would be going out later and daddy would be doing bedtime. He did those bedtimes and they went well and now we have moved to doing alternate bedtimes. That’s really helped.

Nighttime has also been a big issue for us. In our case it was breastfeeding linked and I have finally stopped at 16 weeks pregnant (DD is 2.5) but the other thing that helped was consistency - DH dealt with the usual night wake and I moved to the spare room - my nausea was so bad in the early hours and I was struggling to sleep. First night the protesting lasted an hour. By the fourth night DD was waking up and asking for daddy, and going back to sleep with him in a matter of minutes. The upset and emotion is ok, it’s natural for it to come out and as long as they are supported by a loving parent when upset then it helps them learn to emotionally regulate.

Well we just tried the bright and breezy 'daddy is going to put you to bed, say night night to mummy' and he absolutely fell apart. Clung to me like his life depended on it.

I know I can't go up to him because I have to leave for this appointment and I dont want to confuse him but my poor boy