DD is scared of the dark, scared of her room and generally waking up 4-5 times a night and waking early... any advice gratefully received before I go doolally

[TigerFeet]

She's 3.3

Up until fairly recently she has been a good sleeper, barring illness/teething, settling well and sleeping from 7-7. It's now taking hours to get her to sleep (last night it was midnight before she finally settled) then she woke at 2, 3 and 5 and then got up at 6.

She says she is scared of her room but won't say why. There has been talk of monsters and fire so dh and I do thorough inspections of her room for her to make sure there is nothing untoward in there but to no avail... she still says she doesn't like her room but won't say why.

Of course she is full of beans this morning but I am too tired to play with her, not enough coffee yet and sadly I think I may have to lay off the vino until this passes as I can't cope with even the slightest of tiny hangovers on such broken nights.

So is there something I can do to help her? SHe is beside herself at times. Or do I just have to wait for it to pass by itself?

TIA

Has she got any siblings she could share with for a while? My ds2 is a similar age and has been a lot better since we moved him in with his older brother...

I'll be watching this with interest as DD (2.8) has been going through a similar thing for the past couple of months. She does seem to be getting better, but is not back to her clockwork 7.30-7.30 sleep. The only thing that seems to help (a bit) is to leave the landing light on.

My 2 eldest have been like this. I think it ties in with their imaginations developing rapidly. Recommend getting a night light. Changed my life! Also, like Grapefruitmoon, DS (5) & DD1 (3) share a room now and it really helps. They are going through a phase of falling asleep in our bed and one will follow the other. I leave them there and transfer them back to their beds when I go to bed. If they come into our room during the night I just let them get into bed with us, I'm too tired to have a fight and my theory is they won't (hopefully) be doing it forever. Or you could just do what my friend did and buy an 8ft wide bed to accommodate her, DH & her 3 DSs!

she's an only child atm... so no sibling solutions sadly (but will bear that in mind if we have a dc2)
she has a nightlight, she likes the light itself (it's pink and has princesses on it) but it doesn't seem to make much difference

I am hoping she will learn to settle in her own room, there isn't the space for us all in our bed as she is a wriggly sleeper and a wider bed wouldn't fit in our bedroom

Good point about developing imaginations, she has the usual 3yo active mind so that could well be it.

Hey-ho, will just have to ride it out I think.

Has she got a night light?

How about rearranging the room? So it looks completely different. New duvet cover that she picks herself etc.

Also how about putting a story tape on for her to listen to as she goes to sleep?

yes she has - it's made bugger all difference tbh. We leave the landing light on too.

Try a glowbear. Our dd4 started to get like this and she now has her glowbear whcih she has on when going to bed and if she wakes up in the night she squeezes his paw and hi glows all different colours for 15 minutes. She cuddles him and falls back to sleep

we have a night light on timer in DD room, and we also brought her a little toy that has been placed next to her bed, and explained it keeps bad dreams away. We ask her if she wants door open or closed.

I think i rememeber this when dd was about that age, and we have to do the withdrawal method and go right back to start
It does pass, i promise.

Rearranging the room is out I'm afraid - her bed is built in over the stairwell. Already done the duvet cover thing. And we do the story tape thing too.

I just wish she would tell me what was bothering her... then I could fix it. I am getting paranoid that she is craving attention because dh and I both work OTH full time and she is at nursery all day Mon-Fri

Oooooh good ideas there Magnolia & Lisa - will try those She has a Pooh Bear glowworm thing that could also keep bad dreams away if required

also to say, i dont know if your dd is toliet trained by my DD sometimes wakes at night crying when she needs the loo, even though shes been tt since 2.5

she will take herself to the toilet if needed, but I ask her every time she wakes just in case.

Think we will spend time in her room playing happy games and reading stories this afternoon, maybe that will help.

Please do not think I am weird BUT my DD is also terrified of the dark and has been since she was 3 ( she's 5 now). The thing that helps her is a nightlight and a selection of happy books under her pillow. This was HER solution by the way and really works for her. When we go away she takes the books with her.

Dd1 is now 12 but at the age of 4 she was awful at bedtime. The books helped her too. She had certain books that went in particular places under her pillow and this worked for her

tigerfeet, my dd will take herself off to loo most of the time with no problems but just sometimes she wakes crying and when you ask her she says no, but we sit her on loo anyway, and she goes, then back to bed, and falls fast asleep.
Good luck

In case this helps anyone, my BF's DH into writing poetry for things that kids have issues with (he's waiting for me to illustrate them wheneve I may have time... !)

..and this is one of them...

Whats under the bed?

Some people get worried

About things under their bed?

Monsters ghosts and Ghouls

But they?re just creatures in their head.

So let us take a look; be brave

And what do you think you'll see?

You look one side, I?ll look the the other

And all you'll see? IS ME! BOO!

Lots of good advice here, thanks all

Love that poem, I will have it memorised by bedtime