For those of you whose babies self-settle - do they do it every time??

[Dillybear]

Just wondering what’s normal as I’m a FTM with a baby (6.5m) who has never been a great sleeper - still waking multiple times a night etc.

We’ve done a lot of very gradual work on sleep, and now she does very often self settle (happily) to sleep in her cot, which is fantastic. But then she has random days (like today) where she just cries and cries going down to sleep and nothing I do seems to help. Eventually she will fall asleep with me cuddling her in the cot, or in my arms. She’s teething a lot at the moment so I am keeping her topped up with topical stuff before naps and nurofen before bed if I think she needs it. She doesn’t seem any more teethy today than she has in the past few days, though.

So, if your baby does self settle, is it every single time? Or do other babies just seem to lose the plot every now and again too?

Hi

My baby is 16 weeks and has been mostly self settling for weeks weirdly! I didn't think they could do it that early but she does. What I usually do is put her down drowsy but awake and she does the rest. I use a white noise machine, she has a dummy, Muslin and I have a blackout blind to keep it dark especially for naps. There's the odd occasion where she needs more assistance and tonight I usually can pop her straight down after her bottle (drowsy but awake) and she goes straight down tonight she cried abit and I had to do some further settling myself!

I think babies can differ day to day and they can deffo learn to self settle keep going she will do it! I feel like we might be starting to hit the regression (hopefully not) but so many things can disturb sleep so I think babies just pick and choose when they want to be extra hard work!

Keep going you are doing a great job :)

DS is 18 months and he's still hit or miss with the self settling.

Completely normal. Teething is usually a trigger for my dc so I try to pre empt some calpol half an hour before bed.

Leaps in development/ feeling poorly/ not quite being tired enough /just being a normal baby can all be triggers.

Keep going with your routine

Hi my son who's 6 months is a really good self settler and has been since he was about 8’weeks I think. For naps and nighttime. But no its not every time, Probably about 80% of the time if I catch him Calm and tired. I can put him down In his cot with the curtains drawn and a dummy and leave him to it. The other 20% of the time he might need some Patting and shushing as he sometimes get fidgety with his hands which wakes himself back up. It hasn't been smooth sailing, he's had a couple of regressions and these were quite frustrating but we just persevered and With a little extra soothing In the cot he seems to have fallen back into his usual self settling pattern after a couple of weeks. The last one coincided with him learning to roll
But interestingly he’s started sleeping on his tummy and he goes to sleep much quicker and naps for longer this way (I am aware lullaby trust recommend putting to sleep on the back but he just flips right back over)

My daughter is 2 years 2 months and only self settles for my mum and my mum in law...

I'm currently sat by her bed waiting for her to falls sleep... only the second time ever she hasn't gone to sleep in my arms if this works tonight.,,,

My son self settled from 10 months. And hasn't had a regression- he's now 3 years 3 months.

It's the luck of the draw.... 🙄 shit my luck 😆

My DD is nearly 7 months old. No i wouldn't say she self settles all the time. Its better when she is really tired. I would say maybe 3/4 nights a week she cries before sleep. She has a dummy and white noise on. The nights she struggles we just keep our hand on her. You are doing amazing op.

DS is 16 months and very good at settling himself for sleep (with the help of a soother, white noise and a comforter). Teething gets him bad though and he’ll cry in the middle of the night for one of us to go in. We pop the soother back in and leave and he settles again. Probably happens for 2-3 days twice a month.

Stick with it and go with the flow when she’s teething would be my advice.

Thanks so much for all your replies. When people talk about their babies self settling I always assume that it’s every time, but it’s helpful to know there’s lots of variation.

Tonight she went down like a dream again, after screaming the house down for her first two naps today. I was convinced bedtime would be horrendous but she was happy as anything. It’s I guess about 70-80% of sleeps where she goes down happily on her own now, which is great!! But when she cries like that it’s just awful, especially as very often I haven’t got a clue what’s wrong. I just keep thinking what have I done wrong! She can be so mysterious 🤷🏼‍♀️

At this age - about 6-9 months - it was about 80% of the time at bedtime and not at all for naps. Still has to be rocked in a buggy or nod off in the car at 21 months!

FTM myself. My baby does self settle during the day but if she is overtired will need to be fed to sleep. Also during the night is a different kettle of fish altogether if she wakes then I need to feed her to sleep.