2 year old will not go to sleep without one of us in the room

[Lloydy88]

Hi all,
Looking for advice on getting our 2 year old to fall asleep on his own without us in the room.
We tried a few months ago - leaving him 3 minutes before going back and continuing this but he was sick because he got so worked up. Tried to persevere and clean up his sick and do the same again but he was sick again. We left it a while then because we were both working and couldn't cope with throwing up every evening.
We tried again this evening and he was sick again and quite quickly too - he gets worked up so quick!! 🙈
We have another LO on the way now (next March) and really want to get this cracked but we also cannot deal with sick everywhere all of the time - especially as we have carpet upstairs! 😭
Has anyone had a similar situation with their LO and managed to crack it? Or do they grow out of it?
He generally goes to sleep quite well (within 10/15mins of having his bath, milk and stories) and so we can't complain but having that freedom to know we can walk out of his room wouldnbe great.
Many thanks :)

My 4 year old still likes one of us to be with him as he falls asleep

My 2 year old went through this stage but he used to take about 2hrs 🤣. One day I just had enough, so I started to put away his clothes in his room after I put him into his bed, then I said I was going to the toilet and I’d be back, then I popped back, then I went away again with another excuse and popped back did this for about half an hour, then he was asleep. Then the next night I reduced the popping away and back by half and he was ok, third night I just left the room and didn’t hear a peep

I was doing really well at gradually edging towards the door each night and even got as far as sitting on the stairs where DS couldn’t see me (he’s in an attic conversion) and just saying ‘mummy’s here’ when he briefly fussed... but we had a setback and now he’s unwell so I’m back to square one again! I’m determined to start again once he’s better though. Just moving a foot or two each night so I’m slightly further away!

@emmaluggs what a good idea! 🤣👌 - I may have to try this and see if it works! Thank you! :)

@RowboatsinDisguise hopefully you'll get that routine back! :)
I have tried this and he just gets out of bed and in a fret - not sure why hes so 'fretty' because he's not like that atall about anything else.
May try moving a small amount away from him at a time and see if that helps again! :)

@Jellybean100 - If you dont mind me asking, do you have a younger child too? - Just looking to see if it still works with 2 and you still get a little sleep and rest :D

My 6.5 and 4 year olds still sleep in my bed, l lie between them and try not to fall asleep after stories.
They won't want cuddles to sleep forever, I'm happy to be there for them

@lovelilies 🥰 - He sleeps with us sometimes too. Our bed just isn't big enough now, hes such a wriggler! - I do love the cuddles though, just not the jab in the ribs with his feet! 🤣🙈

My 3 year old won’t go to sleep on his own and I’ve a new born. Generally 3 yo lays next to me in bed (I’m sat up)and newborn lays in my chest and 3 yo goes to sleep quite quickly. I thought bedtime would be a nightmare with two but it’s been fine. There was one evening that was hell, so I strapped them both in the car and drove round until they fell asleep and then transferred each to their respective bed.
I haven’t tried to get him to go to sleep on his own as he just gets distraught and then doesn’t sleep and the next day is hell.
Once he’s asleep I lift him into his bed which is next to mine.

@Lloydy88 yes we do. My eldest (4yo) was going down by himself ok (he did go through this phase about 2yo tho but we did do gradual retreat which worked) and then when the baby came along(he was 3) we started staying in his bedroom because we didn’t want him to get worried if the baby was crying, or didn’t want him wandering out and waking the baby up etc. But now we are in the situation where he needs us to go to sleep. I don’t mind too much to be honest. In the early days when I was on my own I’d sit with him and breastfeed the baby. It gets a little trickier now baby is older, have you rely on the tablet for eldest whilst I get the baby down.

I have a 3 year old and 18 month old. They both like someone in the room with them until we fall asleep. I sit in one room, DH sits in the other. Sometimes they go down quickly and other times it takes longer, but I just remind myself it won't be forever and they're comforted by us being there.

Ooh I’m trying to do the same with 19 month old

We essentially did a vague form of a slow gradual retreat over months 7-12 to get her to fall asleep in her cot herself which worked well with minimal tears. I've got to be honest though if it only takes 10/15 mins I would probs just leave it! You never know if you start changing things it could create more issues and in baby sleep terms you seem to have it pretty good so I would be reluctant to change anything! Your DC may well get there on there own as they got older anyway. My DD's cousin slept in their own room from 8 mo and was going down alone to sleep from being around 1 etc but at the age of 5 suddenly now won't go to sleep without a parent in the room which can take up to an hour. It's not unusual for young children's sleep to randomly change so whilst things are pretty good personally I wouldnt mess with it.