Pat ssh to sleep/CIO

[Ami100]

Hello all,

I'm following the little ones app for my almost 6 month old son and the nap timings work really well.

However, he is fed to sleep for every nap and when he wakes during naps needing resettling (breastfed baby). So this week I'm trying to pat and ssh to sleep in 6 minute intervals and if he's upset I feed to soothe then start again. This can go on for 30/40 minutes. The next stage is to move on to CIO .

I'm getting so upset we are on day 4 and my son just cried and cried and then I feed him to sleep anyway . I guess what I'm looking for is an answer - is this actually going to work? Please no judgment as I was never certain about CIO myself .

If I don't do this will my son ever learn to go to sleep by himself? Does he just have to reach that developmentally when he's ready?

This seems very extreme, no way would I do (at all) cry it out let alone at 6 months.

I did controlled crying where you comfort at intervals a few minutes a part at 12 months after it was taking 4 hours to put my son to bed. But at 6 months they are still so little.

I would do something much more gentle if I were you, I'm sure others will be along to offer more practical advice.

Hiya, I’ve got a three month old who regularly feeds to sleep. There are times she can drop off on her own and these are usually when I’ve put her down in our bed or in her cot and put white noise on, darkened room etc. I use the Huckleberry app which I assume is similar, but I try to put her down about 20 minutes before the nap time it gives. Sometimes it takes a while but I was panicking about it too when she was tiny and then I just thought sod it! I highly doubt every person has been ‘trained’ as it were, and most folk I know can get to sleep okay on their own :)
You’re doing great, our boobs are magic. Tired? Boob. Hungry? Boob. Needs comforting? Boob. Xxx

Yes maybe I mean controlled crying rather than CIO. We aren't even at that stage yet and I'm feeling distraught .

@Whydoireadthis yes boobs are magic xx

By intervals do you mean you are leaving and coming back?

I did pick up/put down with my oldest - you stay with them as they fall asleep comforting in the cot (sshing, patting, stroking) and only pick up if they get really upset - then put them down as soon as they are calm and continue comforting.
First time did take an hour but after 3 or 4 days it was just 10-15 minutes patting in the cot.

@Grrretel yes I was doing the same as you but with no results really in 5 days... so today I've decided to abandon sleep training and continue to feed to sleep . It really isn't the end of the world . I'm so much happier today

I think you’re doing the right thing by taking a break from it OP! I have a 7mo who used to be fed to sleep for naps & evening. I now feed her when she wakes up from naps rather than before and put her down awake. I have a small nap routine - nappy, in a sleeping bag, a little walk around the room until she’s calm then put her down awake and she falls asleep.
A lot of my NCT friends are following this programme but it sounds very stressful to me!

@June628 thank you for this! How did you make the shift from feeding to sleep? Were there tears?

Re the little ones app, to be fair you don't have to sleep train, it's just if you want to. And I thought I did but nothing is more valuable to me than a happy baby. It took me 5 days of attempting training to realise this

With subsequent children I always did the feed on waking thing so as to avoid sleep training again!
I also consciously got them to sleep in a range of ways that didn't involve feeding - walking with the pram, rocking in the pram in the house, sling on my front or back - maybe you could try that just to break the feed-to-sleep habit?

Seen your update op - well done on giving it up and going back to feeding to sleep. I fed to sleep until just over 1 and then gave up breastfeeding at 16 months. My 2 year old sleeps well and is as independent as they can be at that age / obsessed with daddy! You're doing your baby no harm at all by feeding to sleep, quite the opposite

Look up the famous "what worked for us" sleep thread.

You never leave them, just teach them how to fall asleep on their own. I did it at 6 months and she went from waking every 2 hours at night to sleeping through (6-5) 2 weeks later. She also went from needing nap resettles to doing a 2hr nap no prob. Couldn't recommend it enough.

@purplefig that sounds amazing! Just tried looking it up I can't find it. Could you post a link please?

@Ami100 how cruel would it be not to reply?! 😂 here you go: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

@purplefig amazing thank you! Have you followed the method?

@purplefig sorry of course you did, you already said.. spot the tired mamma over here . How long did it take to work?

@Ami100 until 5.5m DD had all naps in the pram because until then she’d refused to nap in the cot and always cried when I put her down which I hated. She was fed to sleep in the evenings. Then when she was outgrowing they carrycot section I started trying naps in the cot again. What helped was being really careful about timings of naps and if I got the time right she would complain much less about being put down. Basically do it earlier than I had been, at the first very early sign of tired like staring off into the distance/ being grumpy on her playmat etc. Then I’d make sure she was nice and calm and put her down. I’d stay with her and sing a song she found soothing and after a while I didn’t even have to sing. The biggest thing was timing and calm when going in the cot. Once she got the hang of naps I could feed her in the evening, do an activity that breaks up the association like change her nappy and put her in her sleeping bag and then put her down. I think you’ll find what works for your baby really, but I wouldn’t despair that if he feeds to sleep now then he will do so forever. Sometimes I still do it if it’s taking a really long time for her to go down for naps but it doesn’t seem to ruin her getting it the next time / I’m happy that it’s actually something I can do when all else fails rather than battle a grumpy baby for hours on end!

We saw an improvement within days! Tough couple of weeks while they learn but within a couple she was completely sorted. Best bit is we never left her alone so she never felt abandoned which is what put me off sleep training. Good luck!