4m sleep regressions and sleep associations.

[101dalmatians]

Hi,

4m old is almost certainly going through the 4m sleep regression - used to wake up once for a feed, and now he is up every 2 hours on a good night, and sometimes more frequently. Everything I’ve read says not to create sleep associations, and to let them settle themselves etc. However he can’t do this! We put him down for naps, sleep etc drowsy but awake, but it doesn’t seem to translate into being able to self settle during the night, so I end up rocking him back to sleep, or bfing. Is this normal, or do I need to just leave him in the cot and expect him to develop the skill of self settling.

Hopefully this makes sense!

I think its pretty normal for a 4 month old to need to be helped back to sleep. I found that this improved hugely when my little boy went into his own room and started solids at 6 months. From what I had read the best thing you can do is to help them learn to self settle at the start of naps and bedtime and the overnight waking will should reduce. You can help your little one by adding in all of the positive sleep associations though. We use his bedtime routine, sleeping bag and a white noise machine. Don't worry if you need to feed back to sleep, he's only little.
Although it makes me feel like a broken woman i try and enjoy the night feeds, I try and think about how I'm the only person my little boy wants and how incredible it is that I can sustain him. I feel very aware of how special it is and how it wont last forever. However I mostly think about how nice it must be to be cuddled and fed your favourite food until you pass out!
The best advice I've heard is 'its all a phase'! The bad nights feel like they last forever but it'll pass. Similarly when they sleep brilliantly and you feel all smug because you've nailed it, the little buggers will become nocturnal!!

No advice as such as we’re going through the same thing, more solidarity! Like yours she will self settle for naps and first nighttime sleep, just won’t do it overnight.
I think we’re in about week 7 (I’ve lost track in the fog of tiredness!) now of multiple night wake ups. I’ve just been going with the flow and feeding back to sleep each time, but all with the nagging sense that I’m creating some kind of bad habits. DH would like to do some sort of sleep training but I’m not keen on any sort of crying at this stage.
We even struggle to rock her back to sleep, sometimes trying for an hour, before I resort to feeding her. We’ve tried giving her a bottle to see if she’ll sleep longer (nope!), introducing a dummy which she’s rejected as she sucks her thumb. She was doing a hideous 5am wake up too, although now I bring her into our bed at that time and I can get her to sleep for another hour or so.
She started rolling back to front a couple of weeks ago but it didn’t change anything!
She’s just turned 5 months and I keep telling myself she’ll get better when she goes into her own room, starts solids etc. Now I think she may be teething and it’s all going downhill further 😫
Anyway I’m sure they’ll come out the other side eventually. My first DD didn’t have a regression at all so this is all new, painful territory!

Hey, also joining in for a little bit of solidarity! My DD is 13 weeks old and am pretty sure she's hitting the 4n sleep regression early 😫
She's going from 2/3 wakings with the first stretch upto 7 hours and being easy to feed back to sleep to waking up every 90 mins or so and being very difficult to resettle! She's also learnt to roll from back to front this week so am hoping it may improve slightly soon 🤞
I've been trying to teach self settling but think she's just too small to be able to do it although I'm persevering with putting her down drowsy and awake for the start of naps and sleep and she will drift off with a bit of wobbling and patting. She's also been a toad with her naps since 8! Weeks, only being able to sleep for one sleep cycle and needs to be held after this to get any decent sleep in the day. Just been trying to be consistent and hope it will pay off one day!

Everything I’ve read says not to create sleep associations

All children need sleep associations.

The key is to make the sleep association and independent one, that the child can learn to do for themselves. At 4 months old even independent sleep associations will need your help, because baby doesn't have the coordination or motor skills to make their body do what they need to sooth.

The easiest and gentlest independent sleep solution is to introduce a dummy.