I hate myself

[Supermum12345]

I just feel so drained emotionally and physically.

DD is 1 and just takes so long to go to sleep and even when she does eventually fall asleep she's waking up every hour stood up crying in cot. I just can't take this anymore. I know it sounds like I'm the worst mother ever I just feel like I don't like DD anymore and I hate myself even more for feeling this way.

DH tries to help but at night DD just won't go to him at all she constantly cries for me to pick her up and I just can't take it anymore. It's exactly the same at nap times every time she needs rocking to sleep and then when she eventually does fall asleep soon as I put her down she wakes up an then I have to start all over again.

I feel so down and lost I just want to run away somewhere from everyone and everything. I don't know what to do! Please any advice will help. Anything at all.

Sorry you're feeling so down. Sleep deprivation is a killer and it's so difficult to enjoy life when you're so tired.

Is things behaviour new? There is a sleep regression around that age which may make things more tricky. They can last a few weeks and is usually a case of riding it out. However if baby has never learned to put herself to sleep, then you sounds like you're at the end of your tether, and it might be time to start some gentle sleep training.

Have a look at online sleep courses. I did the Just Chill Baby Sleep one and it was really useful. They are segmented by age so the methods will be age appropriate. Make sure both you and your partner are copied up with the same information. You both need to commit and be consistent for it to work. It usually takes around 3 days to see results, but expect there to be some crying involved. However, it is temporary and at the end of the training you will have taught your baby a very important life skill.

Once you start getting more sleep, everything else will feel more manageable. Good luck

@Bewilderbeastie thank you for replying.

I just feel so down an upset I don't feel myself at all. I just want to break down and disappear.

I did try the sleep training. The one where you time it 10mins and then longer etc but I found it so difficult she puked up within the first 4mins an was crying so bad. I just felt like the worst mum ever by doing that to her.

I do really want to try it again because I've heard how good it is especially because they learn to sleep themselves. I just need to be strong an think she isn't in danger or in harms way she will be ok. It's just so hard

I think you need to set a few nights out and if she doesn’t want DH, that’s exactly who needs to go to her at night. See if that can break the cycle.
If you keep going to her then she’s going to keep calling for you.