toddler messing at nap time but fine at night - any ideas?

[vnmum]

my 22month old DS has recently started messing about at nap time when im trying to get him to sleep. at nights he settles himself straightaway and was doing the same for his afternoon nap but over the past few days hes started messing about.

he goes in his sleeping bag with teddy and i do the same as i would at night, i say night night sleep time and leave the room but he has started to get out of bed. when he opens the door and i put him back in bed he immediately gets out again laughing. i have tried sitting by the door to stop his escape and just ignoring him as he wanders around the room but he can go for ages, then i end up having to tell him firmly to get into bed etc.

i have tried repeatedly putting him back in bed without saying anything but im finding it hard as im 29 weeks pregnant.

if i sit with him he geneally settles. he also used to sleep 2 hours and then need waking but he has started waking crying after 1hour but if i take him into bed wih me if im having a nap he will go back to sleep straightaway.

he goes to toddlers or other activites every morning, i always try to get him out.

is he pushing the boundaries and trying it on or could he be ready to drop the nap (i hope not with newborn on way) or could he be wanting the cuddles for security as he can sense changes with me being preggers and slowing down abit?

any advice greatly appreciated. idont agree with controlled crying though it goes against my AP style of parenting

at 22 months he is probably telling you he is ready to give up his nap.

Sorry

Replace it with quiet time while he adjusts to not sleeping in the day... sitting together with a fave tv show, a story etc etc

does it make a difference what time his nap is? i ask because my DD 21mo has swapped some routines and now has very early (11.30am) lunch and a nap straight after.
We use a pram for all daytime sleep, bed just for night. Would that work? (if strapped in pram at least he couldn't keep getting out)

i have three DC and all changed their routines a bit when realised a baby was on the way, they are too little to understand and just want reassurance IMHO. enjoy the cuddles!

DD is 22 months and I do the same as fihi and only let her nap in the pram during the day.

After lunch she goes in pram while I walk other DC back to school. If she isn't asleep when I get home then I don't bother trying to 'make' her have a sleep.

DS2 also dropped his daytime nap when I was at the end of last pg - sorry! Not what you want to hear

he sometimes seems tired around 11.30 but we're usually out and about, sometimes he will fall asleep in the car on way home and stay asleep when i put him to bed but recently he just hasnt seemed tired.

he used to go for his nap after lunch around 12.30, this gardually got pushed back half an hour each time. it was 2 o clock today and we still had the same messing about.

i was really hoping he would keep his nap for a while longer so i would have time to sleep if the baby was sleeping at that time.

if it is just cuddles and reassurance due to my pregnancy am i doing any harm in cuddling him as opposed to insisting he settles himself?

my ds is 22 months and started doing this couple of months ago.i changed nap time too hour later and he only naps for an hour but is much better.

maybe i should try him missing the nap and see how he is later on in the evening. then i might be able to gauge if hes ready to drop the nap.

he's never really been one for sleeping in the pram, he's too nosy. he's got to be really shattered to drop off otherwise he just fights it and cries etc

If it was me I wouldn't want to get into too many cuddles in his bed just so that he doesn't associate that with bedtime and not wanting to interefe with how well he settles at night if that makes any sense at all?

How is he if he doesn't have a nap? DD is fine so I just follow her lead. Somedays she naps, especially if it's been an early start and sometimes she doesn't.

Have got to say I did LOL at you sleeping when they sleep I remember thinking I'd be able to do that too

I think no harm in cuddles... as long as you try to keep the bed-time routine as it is, and he settles himself then. If you're getting to the end of shelf-life for day naps, then it isn't going to cause u a prob in the long term as the whole routine will alter.
Forgot to say before, my DD doesn't have an afternoon nap every day. perhaps 2 (maybe 3) days a week she doesn't seem to need one, maybe alternate days would work for u (did with my DS1)?

I've worked in a pre-school for under-2's for the last 6 years and IME a certain proportion of children do just grow out of a daytime nap at around the age of 2, or just before.

You could try putting him down later (though he may then be up later in the evening) or, as suggested, have a "quiet time" instead, at work we used to put a story tape on and the kids oculd lie down and listen to that for half an hour or whatever. Or you could try taking him for a walk in pram/drive in car and see if that gets him to sleep.

You may find he will sleep alternate days for a while. Or he may just have grown out of it altogether.

thanks everyone. i will try putting himdown at 2.30 tomorrow as i dont want him sleeping past 3.30 so it doesnt interfere with bedtime at 8.

i will see how it goes then over the weekend when DH is around i will try skipping the nap and see what happens. at least with DH around if im tired i can nap while he entertains DS.

swag- i know i might be abit optomistic with the sleep when they sleep thing but youve got to be hopeful havent you

Phew, glad you came back with a smile, was worrying I'd offended a pregnant woman

but fingers crossed you can time it all right because that sleep would be bliss

Hi
Was in more or less the same situation for past 2 weeks, i.e. 6mths pg with number 2, 22mth old toddler who was messing about at naptime (having been very good about it for the past 6mths) and not settling.

Decided to try and nip it in the bud, as I really believed he needed his nap - rubbing eyes, grumpy by 5pm, finding it hard to settle at 7pm (when he was usually excellent at bedtime).

So, did something akin to controlled crying this week - 15mns of crying (him), going in to shush him and tell him to lie down (me). This took 45mns on the first day before he slept for 90mn. On the second day, he settled himself after about 5mns and slept for about 50mns, and since then he has been pretty good, settling more or less immediately and sleeping for 50mns. This is shorter than his previous naps (he would go fro 90-120mns), but still gives me a chance to put my feet up.

One thing that I am doing differently is telling him that I am going downstairs to clean the kitchen, do jobs etc., and then making sure there is a bit of noise in the house (e.g. washing machine, radio etc.), as I think he is perhaps a bit anxious about me not being around at the moment. Like your LO, he is feeling a bit anxious about the new arrival (I think) and has been quite clingy of the past 3 weeks.

I do hope this helps. Lots of people I have spoken to have said that their kids did nap to 3-4years, so I would disagree with many of the posters here who say that he might be ready to drop his nap. Only you can tell how tired he is and whether your gut instinct tells you if he needs a sleep.

Good luck with it all anyway.

PS Also, mine is still in a cot, so a bit easier to keep in one place!!

i agree that he probably doesnt feel the need to nap my ds stopped napping at around 15 mths fully i put him in his room in the afternoon to watch pingu for rest then he is having his quiet time and i get mine still and he settles well for bed