11/12mth old sleep advice please!!

[k2331]

Please can someone help me 😫

My 11 month old (almost 1) just wont fall asleep!! No matter what I do, when I put him down for a nap or for bedtime he will lie awake (sometimes for 1.5 hours). He is not unhappy, just lies awake. I've tried putting him down earlier, later, not waking from naps, capping his naps but nothing is working. He will eventually fall asleep and then sleeps fine but the initial getting to sleep has just stopped.

I struggled with PND and am quite an anxious person anyway (especially after lockdown) and have got myself in a state where I actually dread putting him down for a sleep. I wake up in the mornings feeling sick about the day is going to go. He is a relatively easy baby so it's not like he's super hard work when he's awake, I just know he needs to sleep and I don't understand why he won't.

Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through this?

Thanks x

If he's not crying, not needing any help to get to sleep whatsoever, then this is likely to be an issue with your routine.

What is her daytime routine like?

Hi @FATEdestiny

Routine was:

7-7.30 up
Nap 9/9.30 for an hour or so
Nap 1/1.30 (used to sleep for a few hours here)
Bed 7ish

I used to let him sleep as long as he wanted but started to wake him from his naps when the problems started (didn't let him sleep later than 11am or 4pm), then I changed it so he doesn't sleep later than 10.45am or 3pm in the hope that would help but nope...

The past few days:
Up 7ish
Refuse nap between 9-10.30 then fall asleep exhausted about 10.45, woken after 30 mins
Refuse nap between 1-2.30, fall asleep exhausted about 2.45, wake after an hour
Refuse bed from 7-8.30 then falls asleep

When I say refuse nap, not protesting or anything, just lying awake and after a while he will make noises. He can't seem to fall asleep.

Are there any changes you recommend I make? Or any rough routine for this age you know of? He is 11 months but will turn 1 in 2 weeks x

Sounds like he's ready to transition to one nap per day.

It means having to have a ridiculously early lunch for a while, but over time you push it later.

I would suggest staying really busy after breakfast then 10.30am "lunch" followed by 11am Nap - let him sleep as long as he needs
When waking - substantial snack to see through to dinner time.

Over time push towards an 11am lunch and 11.30 nap, then 11.30 lunch and 12pm nap then finally 12pm nap 12.30 nap.

Thanks @FATEdestiny I did wonder if it was to do with that but everything I read suggested this was too early for that and not to be 'tricked' into dropping a nap too soon. I'm not against dropping to one as it would be easier going forward assuming he starts being able to fall asleep again ! X

7-7.30 up
Nap 9/9.30 for an hour or so
Nap 1/1.30 (used to sleep for a few hours here)
Bed 7ish

I would try a strict wake up 7am, 9:45-10am nap, 1pm-3pm nap, 7pm bed.

If they don't sleep in the morning short nap then it's probably time to drop.

I'd suggest your first wake window is too short. At that age it's about 3 hours

My nearly 10 month old is

7/7.30am awake
10.30 morning nap - 40 mins ish
2.45ish afternoon nap for 40/60 mins
Bed 7.30

Like PP says, first wake window is too short. My son is nearly 11 months and our rough routine (depends on when he wakes up) is
6.30 wake
9.15 nap until 10.30
1.30 nap until 3-3.30
Bed 7.15ish

If shifting the times doesn’t work then maybe it’s time to drop a nap

DS has just turned one and we're transitioning to one nap. It seems early but it also seemed ridiculous to be spending hours trying to get him to sleep only for him to wake up after 30 mins. We roughly did what @FATEdestiny suggests and if it gets to about 10.30ish a she doesn't seem like he's going to nap, we push on through to lunch and then let him sleep as long as he wants after that. He's still adjusting (and some days still wants two naps) so I think he's definitely in an in between phase but it's so much less stressful than trying to force him into a nap schedule that he doesn't want.

Thanks everyone! Unfortunately he doesn't seem ready to drop but also resists! It's like we need 1.5 naps at the moment.
I'll play about with the times suggested here and keep trying.
Thanks for all your help! X

OP, we went through the same thing at a similar age – definitely don’t drop the nap yet! It’s a trick! We found doing a tiny catnap in the morning helped – even just 10-15 minutes max, often just on one of us as it was so short – it got her through the day to be able to make it to the big afternoon nap. So it really was like 1.5 naps! I think 30 minutes is too much in the morning at this age, it should be like a tiny aperitif nap before the big one, otherwise they’re not tired enough later.

I remember it being a pain in the bum for a while, though, while they ping back and forth between needing 2 and 1 naps, and sometimes settle and sometimes don’t. It passed eventually – nursery helped as they only did one nap there. Though for a while she’d catch up with morning naps at the weekend, until she was truly ready to drop to 1 nap at 16 months.

(She still sometimes has that mini morning refresher.)

Thanks @burritofan this makes sense! Defo feels like his usual 2 naps are too much but 1 is not quite enough. I'll stick with it just now and try hold on to a quick morning one for a bit longer x