Day nap help

[Daniellen7456]

Hi everyone this is my first post - but really looking for some advice for my 3mo DS. He is a pretty good sleeper at night although not always consistent. He normally sleeps from 8-6:30 with 1 wakeup in the snoo bassinet next to my bed.

The problem I’m having is naps. I can see all day he’s tired but he refuses to sleep more than 30-40 mins in the snoo during the day. I either have to carry him for an additional 45+ mins to finish his naps or hold him in a sling and then he will nap for 1.5 hours. The snoo plays white noise and has small movement which helps him connect sleep cycles in the night but it doesn’t seem to work in the day.

Should I continue to just hold him or am I setting up a bad habit? I feel horrible when he’s so tired in the day. I try to put him back in the snoo after waking but he wakes within 5 mins every time.

I know he’s still very young and so thankful that he sleeps at night - I just don’t want to set up bad habits for the future. I try and put him down awake and drowsy when I can but it doesn’t always work.

Any advice is much appreciated!!

I would keep trying in the cot.

The key to linking sleep cycles is for you to resettle baby before waking up. So catch baby in the phase where they've just moved from deep sleep to light sleep, to get back to deep sleep rather than going from light sleep to waking up. This might be a tiny movement of the limbs or face. Alternatively start resetting 5mins before predicted wake up time - so 25 mins after waking in your case.

If you don't manage the resettle don't worry, just reduce the awake window until the next nap. But always try to resettle, it helps baby learn to link the sleep cycles. As a general rule awake window wants to be 60-90 minutes if naps are 30-40 mins.

@FATEdestiny thanks so much for the advice. Would you recommend picking him up at around 25 mins before he wakes and then placing him back in his cot once he's back in deep sleep so he links the cycles while being held?

I can almost always get him back to sleep it just might take 10-15 mins

I wouldn't pick him up.

You mention small movement in the cot - I'd do that alongside patting baby, or even just laying your hands on baby. But do it all without moving baby, if you pick him up you'll wake him up

I would advise you to just hold him. You are not setting up a bad habit at all - you are caring for your baby and making them feel safe and secure, hence why he sleeps longer.

If you are prepared to do it, then there is no problem with it at all. Trust me, nobody looks back at the time they had with their children and thinks “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time cuddling him when I could have been scrubbing the toilet instead”

He will grow out of it eventually. My LO has been held for every nap - he is now 6 months old and wriggles to be put down when he’s uncomfortable!

Of course, if you are not able or not willing to hold him then that’s absolutely fine too! But don’t let anyone make you feel like holding your baby to sleep is ‘wrong’ in some way - it’s the most natural thing in the world

Thanks for the reply's @FATEdestiny he actually starts to really cry at the 30-40 min mark and can only be consoled by being picked up. I normally pick him up and condole him and then he will finish his nap on me.

@Eggcellent29 it's so good to hear that your LO grew out of it naturally. How did you used to hold to sleep? In a sling? Were you able to sit or did you have to stand and walk the whole time. Also was your LO a good night sleeper?

Sounds like a classic connecting sleep cycles issue to me. I’m doing Little Ones, which basically says do what you need to do to get them to finish or do as much as the naps as you can- and they will connect them eventually. My 3 month old has just last week started connecting cycles for the first nap of the day, but for the big nap in the middle of the day I still have to feed her back to sleep after a cycle every day. I’m just hoping she’ll start doing that nap as well soon! It’s so weird/interesting how their sleep develops.

@Daniellen7456 When he was tiny, he went in the sling but I found as he got older I couldn’t sit down with it on without hurting him, so now he just lays on me. I never walked around with him (I had a massive postpartum hemmohrage so I physically couldn’t!) but I do have one of those ikea bouncy chairs for when he’s really fighting me!

He sleeps really well at night and I put it down to getting a lot of sleep in the day. He generally sleeps 12-14 hours (with a dream feed at 10 when I go to bed) at night in his cot from around 6/7pm to 7/8am. I cuddle him to sleep and put him down. Sometimes I give him a dream feed in the middle of the night if I want a lie in 🙈 He’s slept like this from around 11 weeks.

The way I see it, i would rather to the ‘hard work’ around sleep in the day so that I can sleep through the night. For me, the sacrifice is worth it.

@unclemontyscrumpets how is little ones? I keep seeing ads for them

@Eggcellent29 thanks so much so helpful. He currently sleeps around 7:45-6:30 with a feed at 2:30 ish but thinking about trying to change it and start a dream feed. Not sure how he will do but think it might help me to get a longer stretch of sleep

Just cuddle your baby as long as he needs. It's not a bad habit and it wont last forever. Does it matter if he doesnt nap in his cot and wants to feel you close?

@Daniellen7456 I really like it- it gives loads of info about why they recommend certain things, and a troubleshooting section for when it all goes wrong. The initial structure really saved my sanity!

he actually starts to really cry at the 30-40 min mark and can only be consoled by being picked up. I normally pick him up and condole him and then he will finish his nap on me.

Go to him at 25 minutes, so before he wakes up, while still asleep. Give a little movement by rocking the cot and put your hand on his chest. The idea is to help him through to the next sleep cycle before he wakes up.