No longer see the point.

[BrightStars123]

My 9 month old DD still sleeps like a newborn. We get maybe 1 undisturbed 3 hour stretch at the very beginning of the evening (if we’re lucky!) and then it’s constant waking every 30 mins/1.5 hours all the way through the night.

I’ve completely gave up attempting to settle her in the cot now and just put her straight into bed with me because I know that no matter how long I pat and shush or how many times I place her back down she just will not go back to sleep.

The only thing what works is shoving a bottle in her mouth, letting her take an oz or two and then repeating this every single time she wakes.

I am physically and mentally drained. Totally hating being a parent. I have no energy, I’m constantly lethargic and dread each and every day knowing that I’m going to have to try and function on such a little amount of broken sleep. I’m at the end of my teather with it all.

It’s ruining my marriage, I’m constantly obsessing over how to get her to sleep longer and spending hours scrolling through forums and blogs about other mums and dads who’s little ones struggle with sleep, my mental health is plummeting, I just no longer see a point.

I’ve tried gentle menthols of sleep training and even after persisting nothing works. She still cry’s hysterically going down for every nap and nighttime sleep.

Please someone give me some advice!!!!! I’m at breaking point.

You're in the middle of 8-10 mo sleep regression, it's tough.

What is your DH doing to support here? Appreciate he's probably needing to go to work but if your DD is FF, he can surely do a shift so you can get some sleep?

DS was like this but BF. Bedsharing worked in the sense I got some sleep and could just flap a boob in his direction. I'm going to be honest and say I didn't sleep train, never would sleep train and just rode it out. Sometimes napped when he did. Didn't do a lot of housework, went to bed when he did and tried to get a solid stretch those first few hours.

Would your finances stretch to allow you to get a sleep consultant? I haven’t used one but friends and lots of people on mn swear by them (obviously do your research). If FF do you have a partner? Is there any chance you could have one night away to stay with a relative or friend to get a solid sleep? Even one good night when you’ve had such a shit time can make you feel a million times better and might allow you to come home with a fresh approach.

If you are literally at breaking point and it’s ruining your marriage would you consider sleep training? Even if you had to do CIO? Not ideal and not what I’d usually recommend but if the alternative is divorce/breakdown it’s a lesser of two evils. Plus your baby will want to be sleeping better as she must be shattered.

I’m sorry if none of those work but god solidarity lots of people have dreadful sleepers and they do get better. Nothing is worse than long term sleep deprivation.

I'm sure you have already tried this...but dream feeding worked for us at this point...we put DS1 down for night usually 8ish and I promptly went to bed. Husband did a dream bottle feed at around 10:30/11 (wake child only enough that he would drink milk, which he used to do with gusto...) then he wouldn't wake again until 3ish so I got more sleep, didn't get to see DH much but honestly sleep was more important at that point....if you haven't tried it, maybe worth a try??!!

Dummy?

My son was a bit like this but breastfed so it was easier. He coslept and just fed as and when. It really will get better by a year my son was sleeping through 7-7 in with us and we moved him to a cot bed and that pretty much continued. Could your partner do more feeds or at least do the first or last so you can get an extended bit of sleep?

Please please go to a proper sleep consultant. We went to carol grassick. She absolutely changed my life in 3 days

Massive sympathy from a mum of 2 non-sleepers here, it nearly destroyed my health, my husbands mental health and our marriage. Personally I would sleep train. And did twice. Probably controlled crying with interval checks. Hopefully it will be quick and effective. And do one proper night feed at a roughly set time. Sleep is really important for your little ones development, as well as your sanity.

I also used a sleep consultant, first with my youngest at +12m and then for my then 4yo. Possibly the best £200 I ever spent, just getting me and dh on the same page as much as anything and providing support to stick to the plan.

I would definitely recommend a sleep consultant. It will be worth every penny.