9 month old wont sleep without being held

[Rach1412]

Hello, in desperate need of some help! Sorry for the long post!

My little boy is 9 months old, he had a bad start with reflux and vomiting meaning I had to hold him a lot when he was a baby.
Started sleep training and got him to the point where he would self soothe and was sleeping through.

He started struggling due to sleep regression/teething and my partner wanted to give him extra comfort. I agreed but said to put him down still awake so he could self soothe, he didn't listen and held him until he was fast asleep.
Now he refuses to go down in his cot, wants to be held for all naps, wakes up often after being put to bed and has started crying for feeds each night and will then be up for 1-2 hours.

I'm exhausted and start back to work in 4 weeks so cant be up half the night. My LB starts nursery in 3 weeks and I dont think they will want to hold him for every nap!
Should I sleep train again? I'm worried my partner will just say 'give him another week' so am willing to take on all bedtimes/naps if needed

Thanks for any help

I would say try sleep training again. My DB and SIL were still cuddling their DD to sleep every night at the age of 6 because they couldn’t bear to let her self soothe when she was a baby. I know it’s hard though

You and your partner need to be on the same page with regards to this. That doesn't mean your views trump his, or that his views trump yours (although if only one of you always does all of the sleep, then that person does get a bigger say). But you need to start with talking and agreeing with each other on the best way forward. Sleep training when one partner is against it is rarely the way forward.

When did you sleep train previously? What did you do to sleep train? How long did the better sleep last for before this regression happened?

In terms of making a plan for moving forward - you plan needs to include how you will give baby extra TLC when it's needed - because there will always be times over the next 4 years or so when extra TLC is needed so you need to have formulated and agreed a plan for this.

Thank you @GrannyBags. That's what I'm worried about, as much as I love him I cant imagine having to hold him to sleep when hes that age! Will try the training again, I know he can do it

Thank you for your reply @FATEdestiny. We both agree that sleep training is the way to go and neither of us want to just leave him to cry for hours. When our LO was trained before he sometimes used to still cry for a bit so my partner (after a hard day at work) found it easier to hold him as it was guaranteed to to get him to drop off. But he now understands that its had an effect on everything else especially as when he will only sleep on me at naptime and I struggle to get housework done, take a shower etc

He was 6 months as we wanted to wait until his reflux improved. We went from reducing from feeding to sleep to rocking then holding him then laying next to him then nothing, it took a long time but was worth it! It got worse a few weeks ago and is getting harder and harder.

Yeah that's what I've been speaking to my partner about and trying to come up with a solution to help when LO is going through a rough patch without completely messing things up again.

Thanks so much for your advice