How did you persuade your baby into a cot?

[MyCatReallyIsAGit]

Just as the title says, really! Thought we had the worst sleeper in DC1, then DC2 came along to show us we were wrong.

To be fair, DC2 is not generally a bad sleeper per se - he’s six months old and on a good night, might only wake every 4 hours (which is quite acceptable to me). But he will not sleep in a separate space. He will not be put down when he sleeps. He will only allow me to transfer him to DP maybe one time in five. He will sleep next to me/on me, or in his buggy, and sometimes in DP’s arms if he thinks I’m not around. But he won’t go to sleep in, or be transferred to, a cot or crib.

My realistic ambition is that we get him to start the night in his cot and to spend at least half the night there. But when I do get him into the cot (one attempt in five, maybe), he wakes every 20-30 minutes.

Has anyone had a baby like this? If so, how did you persuade them into a separate sleep space? Or did you just accept co-sleeping as a long-term solution?

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exactly the same issue

I had two like this. The only solution was I got a mattress on the floor. So I let them fall asleep next to me and then I could sneak away and not worry about them falling out of bed. It worked really well for us.

It was a double mattress so room for me too when they inevitably woke. Also, I think when they were in the cot they’d bang themselves on the bars and that would wake them up. I still have to bed share with my 2.5 year old most nights but at least I start in my own bed now and get a few hours there before she wakes. Nearly 5 year old also wakes every night and I have to take him back to bed. But he does at least sleep in his own bed now. He was veeeeerrrrry excited to get ‘a bed with legs’ as he called it. He saw one in a book and wanted one a few months ago. Very cute.

What about taking one side off your cot to make it a sidecar cot?

I had the same. Currently he goes to sleep on our bed and I transfer him to his cot which is sidecarred like a PP suggested. He's 18 months old and 50% of the time he ends up back in my bed. Husband sleeps separately to us which makes it easier because there's more space. We are thinking about him having his own room soon which will hopefully work out.

Thanks - some good ideas here. He is growing out of his crib but can’t transfer him to the cot bed just yet as DC1 is still in it (awaiting delivery of his mid-sleeper). The current crib is a sidecar one and that’s made no difference. I do plan to sidecar the cot bed if it’s safe to do so but not had it next to our bed before.

Unfortunately the room he will move into doesn’t have space for a full single mattress because it’s too small. We currently have our room (me and DC2), the spare room (DP) and the box room (DC1). Plan is to move DC1 into the spare room at the point where DC2 is sleeping reliably enough to go in the box room, but we have to get rid of the spare bed at that point.

Did gradual withdrawal sleep training. Like you had a horrific DC1 and just knew I would not survive it again. First time I was so anti sleep training I’d never have countenanced it, but when DC2 was 8mo and we were up a gazillion times a night, we went for it. Followed Lucy Wolfe instructions. There was some crying, but as a second time parent I was more confident in discerning when it was fear/distress as opposed to ‘I am fucked off/freaked out you are not doing what you always used to do’ crying. As we were there with her lying on floor beside, it felt possible to monitor and support her as she adjusted to the idea this is where she was to sleep.

She started to sleep through pretty quickly and now nearly 2 still sleeps all night unless teething etc. And no signs of trauma or difficulty communicating her needs which I believed in the past was a possibility. We can’t get her to sleep in a buggy or anywhere other than a cot as she’s so used to that now, which can be a pain but can live with.

From this experience I’m not sure starting in the cot and finishing in your bed is a great aim, for you or him, as it is sending a mixed message and encouraging waking and looking for you. When he knows what we do (sleep in cot), he can accept it and get on with it!

Ps this MN thread is still saved in my favourites as it inspired me when researching all this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

Sounds exactly like my DS - 8 months.

I’ve recently put him into a cot for daytime naps and he starts his night in there (so me and DP get our evening together). When he wakes in the night I bring him into bed and co -sleep - I’m still breastfeeding so it means I don’t have to wake too much to feed.

Basically against all the advice I let him sleep on his front - although he can roll - I put him down on his front and this is the only way he reliably stays asleep. Obviously it’s not recommended but he’s not a newborn that can’t move so for me it’s acceptable.

He’s got reflux etc and is under consultant care - for multiple reasons - she actually said this is pretty normal for a reflux baby and wasn’t concerned.

It took about two weeks of consistently putting him in the cot and very nap / evening. This was two long weeks of no sleep or very short naps. We did it over lock down as we didn’t have much going on - we were both exhausted.

He’s now back to his normal sleep pattern. 1hr in morning, 30 min cat nap after lunch and somewhere between 45 -1.5hrs in the afternoon. I expect he’ll drop the lunch cat nap soon and go longer in the AM or PM (hopefully).

I breastfeed him to sleep.

Cot jammed against my side of the bed with the side down, so no barrier between us. And a dummy to suck for self soothing. DD would wake sometimes in the night, and you’d see her root around with her hand to locate her dummy, then she’d pop it back in with a contented sigh and go back to sleep! I never understood the anti dummy brigade, I used them with both my DDs, who slept through the night from 8 weeks and 9 weeks respectively. They’re now adults with no apparent ill effects from their dummies!