Stopped napping in cot...

[Tambini87]

My 11 month old used to nap in his cot in the day. I'd walk/rock him to his eyes closed then put him down and he put his thumb in and sleep.

Now when I attempt to put him down, he holds onto me and cries. So a few times (just so he slept) he slept in my arms. Although if I lay on the bed most times I can place him on it. I don't want to create a bad sleep association with him sleeping on me.

Is this the 11 month sleep regression? His night wakings are getting more too. So I just stick it out? Or any suggestions?

Unfortunately you already have the sleep association - which is walking/rocking to sleep before putting baby down. That's the principle of the issue here really. Healthy sleep hygiene means baby goes to sleep where he stays asleep. That could take two forms:

(a) Baby goes from fully awake to fully asleep all done in the cot (no no rocking or cuddling to drowsy first)

(b) Baby goes to sleep cuddled in your arms and stays asleep cuddled in your arms (possibly with you lying down and cosleeping)

If you decide you want baby sleeping independently (ie in the cot) then how you go about that depends on your parenting style, but the principle of all sleep training methods has the same aim - to help baby learn to go to sleep in the cot. Some methods are gentle and take a long time to get there, but with less stress along the way. Other methods are stressful and distressing, but quicker.

Alternatively, you might decide that cosleeping is preferable to you than independent sleep. Instead of sleep training this needs you to change your expectations. You cannot expect baby to sleep independently in the cot if you are going to cuddle to sleep so not teach independent sleep. So better instead to more fully embrace cosleeping.

No judgement from me whichever method you go for. But currently you have a half-way-house that is neither cosleeping nor independent sleep. This is what your baby is not liking - it's time to pick a longer term route.

@FATEdestiny thank you for the detailed reply. This is our first child and I think we would of done a few things a bit differently. It was tough getting our little one to sleep at an early age but we got him self settling, in his own cot so I think we've done ok.

We never coslept as we heard a few of our close friends struggled so hard breaking that association as their kid got older.

I'd love for him to settle himself in his cot without walking. So answer A please? Lol Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

I know our way of getting him to sleep is the principal of the issue. But why is it now he's holding on to me and refusing to go into his cot? As the last few months he's been ok napping using the same routine.

Thanks again

But why is it now he's holding on to me and refusing to go into his cot?

This comes down to increased awareness. He understands more about the world around him now, has a degree of rationalisation that you are leaving him, these sorts of things. It's not that they didn't used to bother him and now they do. It's that he hadn't previously understood what was happening and now he does.

There are dozens of different ways to go about teaching him to go to sleep in the cot. Are you looking for quick-ish results and are willing to cope with distress to get that? Or would you prefer to take the gentle route, in which case you need realistic expectations that independant sleep is many months away?

The gentle answer begins with gradually (Over several weeks) reduce the viciousness and time you rock/walk for with the aim you cuddle (stationary) to sleep. Then next stage is gradually (Over several weeks) pit in the cot at less stages of tiredness and replace cuddling with active help to settle in the cot (patting/shushing etc). Next stage is to gradually reduce the patting until it's a stationary hand on chest for reassurance. Then the process of having physical distance between you and the cot. This is a slow and gradual process, not a quick fix.

There are quicker ways to do the above, just involves more crying and upset.

There are also much faster methods you could use, involving going straight to in-cot settling and riding through the distress until it's accepted. Or intermittently leaving the room so baby settles in the cot alone. These give results much quicker, often in a matter of days and can be established within 3 weeks start to finish. But involve a lot more distress for everyone.