Sleep training relapse

[Italianshark]

Hey so pretty much what it says on the tin, we gently sleeptrained my 20 month DD 2 months ago - gentle retreat, with a pinch of CC at the end as she was not letting us leave the bedroom.

It worked, she didn't hate us, she has been sleeping great after 2 days... bed with her bottle then threw it out the cot 🥴 rolls over goes to sleep, same for naps.

Suddenly she's screaming at any sleep time! When we go in she asks for more books or more bottle. First time we were so shocked we gave her both but has since (a week) screamed before sleep.

Has this happened to anyone else before?

When did she start sleeping well? If it was only recent it may be that she’s pushing back against the change. It’s quite common for people (even tiny ones) to cope surprisingly well with a change at first, and then to try and revert after a few days. I’m sure others can give more detailed advice but the key would be consistency if you think that’s what’s going on.

In these toddler months, no time is the saying "given them an inch and they'll take a mile" been truer (except maybe the teenage years...)

More books, more milk, more this, more that.... No, no, NO!

Have rules and boundaries. Talk a lot about what happens at bedtime, in very constant language. So always use the same words and phrases to describe things. The aim is that bedtime is so predictable that toddler could repeat parrot fashion to you what happens.

As an aside before I describe further, you know you're going to need to move that bedtime bottle/milk away from bedtime. It's really important for a childs oral health that they brush teeth at bedtime and then dont have anything (including milk) after brushing teeth.

That said, use simple language to describe bedtime. And be anally consistent about it. Encourage toddler to repeat back, tell you what happens next etc - you need total predictability. For example: "At bedtime we brush teeth, then we put jarmers on, then we have a story and cuddle then into bed. We lie quietly in bed at bedtime. Mummy will stay at the door until you are asleep" (or whatever).

On from that - just dont give in. Any quibble, use the consistent language already established - "We already did X. What happens next?" etc.

@FATEdestiny hey. You have such great advice last time I wonder if I could trouble you again?

My daughter is 2 end of this month. She's become a bit clingy - cut a long story short it's partly my fault but accidentally from getting her out of bed from her naps and her falling back to sleep on the sofa. Guilty as charged.

At a point now she doesn't want to nap in her cot, and yesterday point blank refused - just sat there but we left her for over an hours just sitting not crying or anything.

However last night she woke at 12:30am and sat there until 6am. Threw her comfort, pillow everything out the cot. We went in once to check she hadn't pooed and put her bits back but she repeated so we left her. She sat in silence for hours. I believe she was in and out of sat up sleep but what the hell?

Have you got anything to give? Have I ruined my life 😅

If she's not crying then she's not upset, if just leave her there.

Don't have things for her to do or play with in the cot. As long as she's not upset then boredom will eventually bring on sleep.

And be much more consistent with nap time.