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Sleep

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Original poster

Messing around at bedtime in 2 yr old

20 replies

boo64 · 30/09/2007 21:31

Most evenings go like this...

night night ds (after usual bath story etc routine), we close door.

Ds throws teddy and dummy out of cot and screams for mummy or daddy.

We either wait a while or go in quite quickly and have to give them back to him as he wouldn't go to sleep without them for ages.

Once we go in he is usually smirking at us as if to say 'ha got you back in'.

Repeat a number of times which is annoying.

Sometimes it is maybe twice sometimes this happens about 5 or 6 times.

I think we possibly need to reduce his lunchtime nap so he is more tired at bedtime but what strategy could we use to stop the messing around?

We have tried a. not going in for ages, b. asking him to think about (something he likes doing)and lie quietly c. telling him we are going to bed and need him to sleep etc.

Any ideas?

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Original poster

boo64 · 30/09/2007 21:32

p.s. I'm loathe to just leave him crying for as long as it takes....

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Original poster

boo64 · 30/09/2007 22:03

bump

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moondog · 30/09/2007 22:04

He's two.
Messing aobut is their full time job at this age.

watling · 30/09/2007 22:04

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watling · 30/09/2007 22:04

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Original poster

boo64 · 30/09/2007 22:09

well at the moment a bit longer as he has been ill but normally about 1 hour and a quarter but he is a bit of a sleep monster.

He lies in bed til 8.30 quite frequently at the weekend, goes to bed at 8 but doesn't go quiet til maybe 8.20 most nights. I think his nap probably is a bit long isn't it?

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fishie · 30/09/2007 22:12

i sit in a chair reading and drinking wine till he goes to sleep. wouldn't leave to cry.

watling · 30/09/2007 22:14

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Astrophe · 30/09/2007 22:16

maybe try a shorter nap and see if it helps. could you tie (very carefully, so there are no entanglement hazards) or somehow attach his toy to the cot? Or perhaps its time for a bed? That way you can shut the door / put a gate accross and leave him to faff about until he falls asleep?

Astrophe · 30/09/2007 22:17

or could you waltz in, pick up teddy, and leave the room with it? (bring it back in 5 mins, but just to give him a fright and stop him doing it?)

Original poster

boo64 · 30/09/2007 22:25

ooh interesting idea apostrophe....I might try that.
I think we do need to somehow show/ teach him that this isn't fun.

We do usually go in and totally ignore him -just hand teddy and dummy back. BUT dh has recently been chatting more - I think that must be making it worse.

I don't think he is ready to cut out the nap altogether as he asks for it some days and seems to need it. He is like me and needs more sleep than most - but definitely think it needs cutting back to around an hour or 45 mins.

Watling - yes I agree the mornings are great - we know how lucky we are. It isn't unheard of for him to manage 8.45am on a weekend. But then his bedtime is quite late so maybe that's why.
Reckon if we have another baby we are due an early riser though.... that would be a shock!

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watling · 30/09/2007 22:38

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Original poster

boo64 · 01/10/2007 09:37

ooh in that case I will stick with the status quo! anything to avoid an early start...

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Chirpyghoul · 01/10/2007 09:42

DD does this with her teddies!
We go in, hand them over, lie her down and walk out, shutting door behind us. It took a good few days of having to go in every 30 seconds but now she only does it maybe once or twice a week and I only have to go in once.
Strict rule is no talking apart from shhh noise and no eye contact once she has been 'officially' put to bed.

Original poster

boo64 · 01/10/2007 10:33

Think dh and I are going to revert to this - make it as boring as possible for him when we go in.....will see how we get on with that.

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Walnutshell · 01/10/2007 10:47

I wouldn't take the teddy away if that's his comfort toy. Strikes me as a bit too power-wielding if he has a particular attachment to it.

I think you have to be really consistent on each return visit to his room. So, EVERY TIME you go back, just replace teddy/dummy quietly, calmly and without making a fuss.

My ds is almost 2 and we also seem to be moving away from the daytime nap much to my horror! Good luck.

Original poster

boo64 · 01/10/2007 13:24

Walnut - I know a couple of people who make their older toddlers who have given up napping have a quiet period playing on their own over lunchtime so that they still get a break -
worth a try when ours give up I reckon!
I'm dreading missing my 'break' but I suppose it will free us up to do all day outings and lunches better.

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mcnoodle · 01/10/2007 13:37

20 mins of faffing and an 8.30 wake up!!!!

That would be considered behaviour worthy of knighthood here.

mcnoodle · 01/10/2007 13:45

DS (2.4) has just gone into a bed after figuring out how to climb out of his cot, sleeping bag and all. We've had 10 days of farcical bedtimes and are trying to implement the Rapid Return 'thing'. DS thinks this is hilarious and the other night spent about an hour throwing his sleep teddy out of the door, then closing it and giggling like a deranged master criminal. We picked up teddy, scooped up ds and put him back in bed (about 50 times). But we didn't 'play', just kept putting him in bed until he got bored and fell asleep on the floor.

Last night he lay in bed, had stories and went to sleep. I guess you need to do this sooner rather than later if you want bedtime back. IME the faffing increases until you get to the point we were at. They are canny things!

Original poster

boo64 · 13/10/2007 09:52

Bingo! We seem to have cracked this at last (but I am so tempting fate!)

We say to ds at bedtime....'if you don't go to sleep now you'll be too tired to do x' where x is something he likes doing and we are doing the next day e.g. go to the playground/ do jobs he likes doing in the house/ music group.

And it has worked a treat so far! Worth a try for others?

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