12 month old sleep issues

[CursesAndMagic]

My 12 month old has always slept through the night 11 or 12 hours and been pretty good with naps having 2 per day up until about a month ago when the naps were being refused. She ended up having just one a day and then not settling for hours at bedtime. She then had a week of this and went back to her usual two nap days and settling herself back for bedtime. She has however the last two weeks started refusing two naps. I’ve tried capping first nap at an hour, half hour, letting her have as long as she wants but it still causes her to flat out refused to go to sleep for her second nap or pushes her first nap too late so there’s no time for a second nap. I’ve tried all different times waking her up in the morning etc. The past two nights it’s taken 3 hours to settle her and it’s never been this bad. She then however sleeps 11-12 hours a night without waking or if she does wake settles herself without any issues.

When she’s fighting the naps and going to bed I can tell she is tired and I’ve tried putting her up before she starts showing signs of being sleepy. She was teething but even when she isn’t this is seeming to happen she can self settle and often does just these past few days I can’t get her down without rocking her until drowsy then putting her down.

Have tried controlled crying, getting her up to try in ten mins or so, medicine in case of any pain, gradual withdrawal which she hates as she thinks it’s okay time. I’ve tried settling her in the cot and she just squirms and fights. Yesterday I left her 20 mins and she went asleep independently for her nap but took 2 hours to settle for bedtime. Off and on this has lasted 6 weeks but she’s never been this bad for nighttime. Her naps usually range from 45-1.5 hours so she is overtired but she usually doesn’t have any issues sleeping through the night.

Controlled crying she will go for absolute hours and the next 4 nights didn’t get any better when I tried sticking to the same routine.

She isn’t usually rocked or fed to sleep just put down awake and she stares around and she will go to sleep. Now she’s standing laying standing sitting crying throwing dummy. I leave her but she doesn’t stop and I end up having to get her to sleep so I can sleep too. What’s going on?????

I mean play time not okay time haha.

I should add when she first goes down she has around 10-15 mins where she gets comfortable stays still I think she’s asleep then she’s moving again. She is trying to sleep and I know she can self settle but can a issue last 6 weeks on and off and only present itself at bedtime? Seems strange.

No one?

Following this as I am going through something similar with my almost 11 month old. He's always been a pretty good sleeper, able to self settle fine but recently it's as if he's forgotten how to sleep! Refusing naps, taking hours to settle at bedtime. It's 9pm now and he has been awake since 11.03am! Hoping somebody reads your post and gives some advice that I can follow too. Really struggling! X

Sorry that I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say that we're going though very similar - I just started a thread about it tonight. My little boy is very hard to settle, and also refusing naps. I'm using car naps and buggy naps to try and make sure he gets at least some sleep during the day, as these are a bit easier than cot naps. The long drawn out bedtimes are exhausting and stressful, and then you end up with less down time in the evening. I'm just trying to remember that this is a phase, and will pass, hopefully soon! I think clingyness and separation anxiety is common around this age.

Well yesterday was better she napped in the day. Only for an hour and a half but seemed much better. Timed her awake time for around 5 hours between wake up and sleep. Then she self settled for bed no problem but had several wake ups a few times just needed laying down which never happens and once needed a cuddle. She also self settled a few times in the night so she was asleep by 7pm woke at 7:15 and was up several times for a few minutes. It’s really exhausting not knowing or something is bothering her or if she is just having a stage of development. She has been teething but a tooth popped through a few days ago, she’s in leap 8 and she’s also learning on walking more so maybe a combination of everything? She also started this briefly at 11 months but then settled down again for two weeks or so so maybe it’s just w stage. Hope you had good nights. When she takes until 9pm to settle she tends to sleep through for 11 hours. Hoping last night was a on off!

I agree, I'm finding it really difficult to work out if it's a regression, a phase, something wrong with him or what. Once my boy's asleep he's fine, we don't really have night wakings, it's just the initial getting to sleep that seems to have completely gone!
Last night he didn't 'give in' until 10pm! Despite refusing his afternoon nap. He was so tired but it's like he just can't switch off. I would say we've had about 2/3 weeks of this but I feel it's getting worse rather than better... at the start he was still napping but now they are a problem too x

@Gemedin it’s so hard isn’t it. When she goes to bed that late she doesn’t have night wakings either and sometimes she will lose her dummy and not be able to find it so will cry for that but I don’t mind that because she goes straight back asleep and it usually only happens once a night. I’ve had to just do the one nap. She started refusing both so I said I’m not fighting three time’s a day and now I find she does self soothe for her nap eventually so she’s up around 7-8 and naps around 12 or after lunch for an hour or so. It’s easier to manage that way for me because then I’m not fighting with her. I think there’s an element of over tiredness so that’s why I think sometimes I struggle more. This morning she’s trying to bite the radiators so I imagine it’s teeth as that’s usually a behaviour she displays when she’s teething. I don’t night feed at all but if she’s unsettled for more than two hours at night (very rare) I will give her w bottle as she is more of a grazer always has been and never has more than 4oz at once so sometimes I think she is genuinely hungry. I said to my partner no more rocking so I’ll put her down after a longer period with me snuggling her in chair after her feed and bath time and everything and then lay her down she will usually sleep eventually but if she’s wailing or screaming I’ll go in and get her. We tried sleep training and if anything she got worse for about a week and we gave up with it as I think separation anxiety is playing a part and obviously leaving her is just reinforcing her fear really.

@Gemedin how are you trying to get him to sleep currently? I took her up at 12pm she rolled and rolled until 12:50 cried and threw dummy so I brought her down until 1 and she went asleep at 1:40 so much crying. I leave her 10 mins 15 mins nothing works she won’t be settled in the cot will only cling to me hope it’s a phase because 6 weeks ago she was perfect

This all sounds so similar to my situation. I don't night feed either and haven't done so for months.
He has never really needed sleep training in the past and I don't see how it would work just now. It seems no matter how long I leave him, wether he cries or not, wether I go in to him or not, he still won't fall asleep!
I'm not really doing anything tbh. Just the same as always - sleeping bag, dummy, mobile, dark room. I've tried changing the nap times but nothing works.
I also hope it's a phase and I have read about regressions at this stage but I just keep thinking my situation sounds worse and that it won't just get better 😟.
Like you said, sleeping perfectly up until a few weeks ago so don't know what's happened!!

@Gemedin so is he not napping? Are you trying to comfort him. She pushes us away more often than not. Managed to rock her drowsy last night and she fell asleep at 8pm

@Gemedin 7pm sorry

Nope it's basically all stopped! He fell asleep this morning eventually but regular naps seem to have gone.
I do try and comfort and to be honest I'm at the point where if I knew he would sleep on me I would just do it as it's better than the overtired state he gets into. Problem is unless he's absolutely exhausted he won't sleep on me (probably because he never did before as he was good at self settling in bed). So I'll go into his room and try shush/stroke him but it makes no difference. Nothing seems to make a difference just now x

@Gemedin she seems to get worse when I try to settle her in cot. Yesterday I started bath an hour early and spent more time with her and she actually stared around for around 5 minutes and fell asleep but had quite an unsettled night really with several wake ups for dummy. She’s been very clingy today and whiney how long has yours lasted now?

Yeah I sometimes wonder if I annoy him more by trying to settle him when he's in the cot.
That's good, fingers crossed for you that tonight is good!!
So I'd say some problems with bedtime settling started around 4/5 weeks ago but they weren't that bad, just took a while to settle sometimes but the past 2 and a half weeks is when the nap refusal started and it now taking hours to sleep at night. I just think if it's a regression it would be starting to get better now! X

I thought exactly the same thing. Just been playing with her and the back of her gums are really swollen. I don’t think that’s the cause of problem but must add to it and be why she wants so much cuddles maybe

Also she done that about three weeks ago and I had to put her down one day 1.5 hours after she woke up and she napped no problem then same with afternoon nap and bed time. She was perfect for about a week then went worse hahah

Done the bedtime routine earlier to give me more time and she self settled and asleep for 6:30. Oh no very early wake up ahaha