Bedtime Drama - EVERY NIGHT!!!!

[mrsjw17]

Hopefully someone on here can give me some help!

Since corona stuck the UK & we were in lockdown it caused my children a great amount of anxiety which is to be expected.

We have always stuck to the same bedtime but the past few weeks have been a complete nightmare that I'm no longer having any evening to wind down because my kids are constantly getting out of bed & not doing as they're told.

I have taken things away from them like toys & other privileges.

Any tips on how I can get them to go to bed & stay there till morning?

It's all the usual stuff, I'm too hot, I'm thirsty, I'm cold, I need a wee, I can't find XYZ ...... The list goes on..

I suffer with PTSD & have bad depression so I need the evening to unwind & destress before going to bed.

Some nights I end up going to sleep at stupid o'clock cause I don't get time to relax.

★★ Please be nice - No one is the best parent in the world & someone is always going through something you have no clue about ★★

Take them straight back, no discussion. Do you give them water etc?

Depends how old they are? Do you think that it might be partially down to being unsettled and therefore needing you close (whatever that method is) for reassurance? This was the case for us and once I'd cottoned on I changed my approach to be firm but fair to child's feelings. So basically ignoring the requests but just repeated 'its sleep time' 'its quiet time' 'but mummy will be here/mummies just in the next room/mummy can here you and will come if anythings wrong etc. Took about a week in total but seems to have settled the behaviour mostly.

Sending hugs, that time once they have gone to bed is so precious to maintain any form of sanity!

How old are they and what time do you start bedtime? I’m the same OP I really need the evenings to myself too.

My children are 5 & 7.

The youngest is picking up on the behaviour of her sister which I really hope doesn't get as extreme.

The last drink they have is with dinner. Nothing after that normally no later than 6pm.

They continuously get out of bed to ask questions.

They went to be at 8pm tonight & they're still awake now.

My oldest has suffered with anxiety issues in the past but with corona & everyone at home being there it some how fixed it.

My husband works shift work so that triggered her anxiety to begin with as he wasn't always home when she went to bed but since corona (again - sorry if I sound like I'm repeating myself) it seems to have settled her as he hasn't been working all times of the night.

I love my children dearly but I need that couple of hours in the evening to help me. I'm unable to do anything & just feel like everything is getting on top of me.

I understand that there is so much going on at the moment & for children it is so much harder to get their heads around.

But at the same time I need to look after my mental health or I'm not going to be the parent they need.

So sorry if I have rambled on but I just have no clue what to do?

My children are younger than yours so not sure if my suggestions would be of any help? My husband also does shift work, works into the night so I’m left doing the nighttime routine by myself some nights.
Our nighttime routine goes teeth then read story in bed, do kisses and cuddles, then I ask if our DS wants me (or DH when he comes home from work) to come and check on him (he always says yes). I say I’ll check on him after I make a cup of tea (I just make up a reason). When we first started we would go back within a couple of minutes so he knew we were true to our word.
Now he is usually asleep by the time I check on him.
When he has delay tactics like ‘I need all my paw patrol toys in my room’ then I say I’ll have a look for them and bring them in when I come and check on you, same with water. Or because our son loves to chat and will often use this to keep me in his room for longer I’ll say I’ll talk about it when I come back and check on him and to save up all his questions until then. Not sure if that makes sense but that works for us.

We also do sticker chart with a reward he is working towards for staying in bed whilst his training clock is a moon.