Help!! HOW can I stop co-sleeping with 9 month old?

[Secretlifeofme]

My 9 month old has been co-sleeping pretty much since birth but I really want to get her into her own cot.

I'm following the No Cry Sleep Solution which says to gradually move away from her in the bed (did that and she is now fine to sleep not touching me, which I guess is progress!) The next step is to get her into the next to me cot, and she will go in for the first sleep cycle but she wakes after that and wants feeding, but then WILL NOT go back in the cot... but fails asleep within about 30 seconds in the bed.

I.just don't know what to do. I am doing the pull off the nipple thing, so she isn't feeding to sleep and is being put down in the cot drowsy but awake. So why will she only do the first sleep cycle in the cot! And how can I get her to connect her sleep cycles? Argh! Really wishing I hadn't got into co-sleeping in the first place now

Didn't want to read and run, so hopefully will bump this for you, but i can't really help, sorry! I was at my wits end with this and went for a "rip off the bandaid" approach rather than being gentle about it - stopped feeding to sleep and put her in her own room in one whack. There were some tears and a lot of shhhh patting but it only took 4 days.

Probably not helpful but currently doing ferber method with my almost 9 month old after co-sleeping. Only took 45 minutes and a few tears last night and he's gone down in 10 minutes with no tears at all tonight. He managed to settle himself within a couple of minutes each time he woke last night as well. I probably got a worse night's sleep because I was worrying all night!

@Secretlifeofme

My 9 month old has been co-sleeping pretty much since birth but I really want to get her into her own cot.

I'm following the No Cry Sleep Solution which says to gradually move away from her in the bed (did that and she is now fine to sleep not touching me, which I guess is progress!) The next step is to get her into the next to me cot, and she will go in for the first sleep cycle but she wakes after that and wants feeding, but then WILL NOT go back in the cot... but fails asleep within about 30 seconds in the bed.

I.just don't know what to do. I am doing the pull off the nipple thing, so she isn't feeding to sleep and is being put down in the cot drowsy but awake. So why will she only do the first sleep cycle in the cot! And how can I get her to connect her sleep cycles? Argh! Really wishing I hadn't got into co-sleeping in the first place now

You're doing great OP

You have seen progress, but it's gentle and slowly (as is expected with NCSS). But the fact is, you are progressing.

Is the next to me a full sized cot or a crib? Because if it's a cot (with one side removed) you should be able to fit the top half of your body in there with baby. So you can breastfeed with you and baby in the cot, then extract yourself back to your bed afterwards.

Thanks for replies! I'm definitely not interested in any kind of cry it out method. @FATEdestiny, thanks but I really don't want to do that- trying to get her out of the habit of feeding in the side lying position, because she definitely can't do that when she is in her own cot.

Update - our record so far is 3 sleep cycles in the cot, but so far she has woken up between each one of those and wanted feeding . Once I take her into the bed she sleeps a bit better and manages stretches of 2 or sometimes 3 hours. It's a work in progress!!

Honestly, it might not be sleep cycles or anything, it might simply be that your child isn't ready to sleep through yet.

DS was waking regularly until 18 months.

We co slept up until 12 months, and then he had his own cot/room and would still wake.

Then at 18 months, he just suddenly started sleeping through.

No sleep training, no tears, just simply accepted it when I started saying "night time now, go to sleep"

I think once they're older they understand a bit more.

9 months is still so little

I did exactly what you are doing with my now 11month old. I felt like it would never end either but he sleeps in a cot, with the side on, next to me all night now.

It sounds like you are doing really really well. Keep going. You will get there but it can feel like one step forward one step back.

Just so you know I completed this transition with no crying at controlled crying at all. It does work it's just persistence.