Help! Baby wont sleep unless on me

[LH1987]

Hi all. Any help would be much appreciated.

My 6 week old baby will not sleep unless on someone. I had been trying to put her down but it got her so upset and made her cry for 2/3 hours I have given up. Myself and my husband now spend our lives with a sleeping baby on us.

I have a bedside crib. I've tried a sleepyhead during the day (supervised). She cries if put in her in her stroller. Will this get better? She sleeps loads but just not if shes alone! I just feel like I have missed some obvious information, as I cant understand how anyone copes with more than one!

Please any genius advise or miracle product recommendations would be great.

Both of mine were exactly the same. I think it's the sound of your heartbeat that they find comforting. I used to start off with baby on my chest then really slowly shift her off me and into her crib once she had fallen asleep. Both of mine had bedside cribs too, which makes the shifting a little easier.

All I can say is it is a phase. Be kind to yourselves, sleep when you can and it will pass

We took shifts. Can still remember the bloody shock of it all. It will get better, hang in there. Box sets are your friend, and try to just chill

Google pregnant chicken what you need to know about newborns

A large number of babies are like this. My son napped almost exclusively in the sling for the first 4 months of his life. He was my second child, we learned the hard way from the first!
So that's my advice, get a good sling and use it as much as you like! My son slept a hundred times better at night than my first too and I got stuff done whilst also having lovely slingy cuddles! Stretchy wraps are great for teeny babies and very inexpensive, you can find them new for as little as £10. Loads of videos on you tube to show you how to tie them or see if there is a sling library in your local area - ours is doing zoom meet ups at the moment.

Thank you all for you advice and experience. Mostly it just helps to know I'm not an incompetent idiot who is the only one this is happening to.

You have made tonight's shift a little bit easier for me.

It's very normal behaviour. (Fourth Trimester ) She wants the feeling of being inside you but is spending this time getting used to being outside.

Could she possibly have a touch of reflux and lying flat is making her uncomfortable?

Will she sleep on the bed next to you? Mine liked to be wedged practically in my armpit, then little by little would accept sleeping an inch or so further away.

OP we are exactly the same over here with my 10 week old 😭 this is my second baby so I thought it would be easier this time around , nope it's harder!!
She does sleep in pram during the day but she will not go in cot or beside me in bed in the night for more than 30/40 mins before waking up crying . It's tough. I feel like I'm doing something wrong and worry that she'll never sleep alone ( rationally I know this is not the case but you do think of the worst case scenario at 2am!!
Following for advice with interest . Co-sleeping I.e her sleeping on the bed next to me doesn't work which is unfortunate as that's the advice that every website seems to give !

I'm in the exact same situation with my 5 week old! Finding this thread has made me feel better to know it's not just me! Currently sitting up in bed with a sleeping baby on me! If I try to put her in her crib she wakes up within minutes.

My husband and I have been taking it in turns where one of us stays awake with the baby sleeping on us while the other one sleeps, then swapping over. We're both very tired!! I'm just hoping it gets better with time!

Please any genius advise or miracle product recommendations would be great.

The humble and very inexpensive swaddle should help.

You don't need anything fancy for this. A giant muslin square or a cut-up bed sheet are both fine and cost peanuts.

The idea of the swaddle is to reduce external situation for baby and control the startle reflex. These both make putting baby down to sleep much easier. A swaddle also recreates the enclosed feeling and of the womb, in the manner of the Forth Trimester.

There is also a technique for putting baby down. You need to minimise the feeling of being lowered because babies have an instinctive reflex to oppose this.

Feeding baby lying down and then scooting them acrosswards into a bedside cot is often easier than putting baby down.

If you need to lower baby into the cot though, then firstly a swaddle helps (as mentioned). Then when lowering baby, keep baby close to your chest all the time. So bend at your waist, keeping baby in the same position relative to you. Lower your own body until you've hovering over the cot mattress. Then move your arms away so baby is on the mattress but you are still almost skin to skin as you were when holding baby.

Place your hand on baby's chest as you raise yourself. This replaces the comfort of your closeness as you move away. A dummy in baby's mouth at this point can also help the in-cot settling.

On the whole, do everything at a very slow pace. So take a good 5-10 minutes yo go from standing with baby until they are lying on the cot matresss. Don't rush it.

Thanks again all.

I have decided to just lean into it and enjoy the cuddles and watching everything on Netflix because I cant mange the stress of trying to put her down again. Or at least I will go crazy if I need to deal with the crying again.

For what it's worth I did swaddle her today and that pissed her off for about 3 hours. I assume she will grow out of it as otherwise I will have a 16 year old lying on me some day.

This site is a real support, thanks again everyone you are great.

@LH1987 that made me laugh 😂 I have also been trying swaddling but it enrages DD. She doesn't even like a sleeping bag!

@Enormouscroc did you find it got better after 12 weeks? My husband works away a lot and so I'm on my own with my Velcro baby and energetic 2.5DD1 . I worry that I just give in to the chest sleeping because I'm so tired and I just want some rest although I'm aware it's not ideal in terms of safe sleeping. I want to start trying to put her down more but only if it will actually work! In my mind 12 weeks should be the time to do it?!

Mine hates being swaddled also. Swaddled him the first month, but even then he yanked arms out to above his head.

Now 10 weeks and in sleeping bag. Its helped i think in that its now easier to feed him during the night, and then move back into side crib without too much change in temperature for him. We use the superlove merino ones, tad pricey, but no need to change tog or size as last until 2 years.

Oh and at 10 weeks, he can roll onto one side already, so I thought swaddling wasn't recommended once they can roll?

Ps a held baby will grow to feel super secure, and more likely to be happy to go off and sleep, play etc when older. So I wouldn't worry about that whole ' make a rod' malarky people spout.

We also use a baby sheepskin in his pram, i think that helps us to transfer him once sleeping daytime off our chest into pram as its cosy. I usually wait 10 mins after he is asleep to transfer

Hi there, just wanted to say this sounds very familiar and good call to just go with it for now!

If/when you do decide to try again, I found my baby was similarly allergic to being deposited anywhere away from me so the answer was to breastfeed her to sleep in side lying in my bed, then she could stay just where she was in the nice warm patch that smelled of mummy but I could (after she'd been asleep about 10 minutes) gradually reverse backwards one millimetre. Then another millimetre after another 5 minutes and so on! No putting down for baby but a bit of space for mummy. Over a couple of weeks she got used to me moving away and I could move further more quickly, then eventually just put her down straight from a feed (although mine did LOVE a swaddle)!

This strategy did involve baby sleeping on her side so there was an element of risk, but it was advised by my fabulous breastfeeding consultant who had been an NHS midwife for 25 years and sensibly pointed out that it was much less risky than me falling asleep with the baby on my chest, which was happening previously as I was so exhausted. It was a game changer and I am still so grateful to that wonderful woman!

Obviously this only works if you're bf but thought I'd mention it in case helpful- oh and 1000000% the sling for day naps once you start wanting to get stuff done (although I was happy parked on the sofa for a good few months so make the most of that bit!). Enjoy your gorgeous bundle.

Hi @5ambreakfastclub, I tried a pacifier tonight and she slept on her own for an hour. It was on a sleepyhead cushion, on the couch. So not perfect but progress. It really seemed to calm her down.