15 week old cries as soon as she is put down to sleep.

[Woodlandwalks]

Hi
I think we may be hitting the 4 month sleep regression but I just don't know what to do about it. She has a consistent bedtime routine of getting ready for bed with songs and dim lights, book, boob, sleep. This has been working fine but the past few nights she cries as soon as I put her down in her crib and she doesn't stop until she's picked up again. She's still in our room and we don't ever leave her on her own to cry but last night I did just hold her hand and stroke her cheek until she fell asleep which took about 10 minutes maybe of her crying. She did then sleep for a good 6 hour stretch. I hate to have her crying but I don't know what else I can do because she only stops instantly if I pick her up and hold her and she'd happily sleep on me if I let her but I can't sleep that way obviously. Putting her down in my bed also makes no difference, she has to be held. I know she's still so little and I've heard sleep training shouldn't be done until 4-6 months but will I hurt her if I let her cry like that? I wouldn't leave her, just try to persist with calming her whilst she's in her bed. And if it doesn't work, if she's still crying after 10 or 15 minutes, what can I do about it?
Thank you

I know opinions vary about this, but I didn’t let mine cry. What happens if you let her fall asleep on you, wait until deeply asleep then transfer? Could get the sling for this too

Mine slept with me (Bed shared following all the safety guidance) and both were model sleepers as toddlers and now as school are kids. There are a lot who say if they aren’t sleeping independently as babies it wrecks their sleep but that hasn’t been true of mine at all.

I don't think they need to be picked up the second they cry. You're making a rod for your own back if you do that. Holding her hand and stroking her cheek until she goes to sleep is fine. She will never learn to self settle otherwise. I had my son in my room until he was around a year old, but in his own cot.

I forgot to say my oldest was like this too! I started off with crib but from 4 months just did what he needed and I got so much more sleep!!

My kids totally self settled as toddlers - they were ready to learn to do it at that age and actually had great bedtime and sleep patterns

Do what works for you. I personally don't like to leave DS to cry, we transfer once he's asleep and it works well for us, he's 7 months and sleeps well. Every baby is different though.

There is no rod making. Some children are just different. My first needed being held all the time. My second is far happier about being put down.

In my mind there's hanging over her cot all night trying to calm her Vs co sleeping where you can cuddle and sleep eventually. I've always preferred the latter.

Hi is it every time you put her to sleep or is it mainly evening?
Did you get the doctor to check in case it’s an ear infection or something like that
Could it be reflux? One of my babies had reflux without vomiting and it was when we used out her down after a feed
The acid from her tummy was burning her throat and we didn’t realize
Took a long time to get diagnosed

15 weeks is too young for sleep training, yes it's probably the 4 month regression, but you can't just leave a tiny baby to cry!! And I say that as a parent who sleep trained at 6 months because we hadn't got DS to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time until after we sleep trained.

Feed to sleep, rock to sleep, pat to sleep, give it 15 min then put down very gently, it was the only things that worked for us. I'm sorry, sleep deprivation is awful, but think how awful it is for your baby. It's not long until your baby is old enough for sleep training, at 15 weeks they aren't cognitively developed enough to understand sleep training

My DS is nearly 11 months and still hasn't learnt to self settle in his cot. We cuddle him to sleep - it takes about 5 mins normally and then transfer him. It's a developmental skill that comes with time, not something you can teach. I'd much rather rock him to sleep than let him cry himself to sleep.

Co sleeping doesn't help at all, she has to be held up on my shoulder so there's no way I can safely hold her all night and sleep. I've tried transfering her gently after she's deeply asleep, she just wakes up again immediately. She doesn't have reflux or anything like that, she's such a happy, smiley, healthy baby during the day.

This is going to sound crazy but how long are you waiting before trying to transfer?

I totally sympathise because my dd was the same. I got her used to feeding lying asleep on her side on my bed. Then when she fell asleep actually feeding I would wait really quite a long time, then move away

Stroking her cheek isn’t leaving her to cry! You are there comforting her! I would persist with that and I bet she’ll go back to sleeping as she had before pretty quickly. I think kids’ sleep is always up and down. Your sleep is important too.

@Woodlandwalks - Have you tried giving her a dummy?

After the feed, wind well and put in the cot with a dummy. Tapping on the outside of the dummy a couple of times encourages the sucking reflex - natures way to calm and sooth a baby to sleep. It's also impossible to cry while sucking - the ultimate No Cry Sleep Solution.