[quote MrsCremuel]@BabySleepTeacherUK think I might have to try that. My husband can get him back to sleep sometimes, but not at the 4.30 wake. When I try he headbutts and batters my chest until I breastfeed. My husband usually works till 7.30 which clashes with DS's bedtime so I do bedtime.
What should I do - lay him in the cot after a feed and ride out the moaning/crying?[/quote]
It will be easier all-round if your husband could commit to doing bedtime and night wakes, even if just for the short term. There's no battle to not feed then, if you arent there. He could do with taking over for ideally 3 weeks, but at least a week. No reason he cant take over longer term too, if you're going back to work or similar.
Essentially yes, you just lay him in the cot and ride it out.
The manner in which you ride it out depends on your parenting style. Some stay in the room comforting, some come and go from babys room. Some ignore, some actively work to settle baby, some do it cold turkey others do it slowly and gradually.
No judgement from me which you go for, it depends on your family dynamics. What is important though is that whatever method you choose, that you have the emotional resilience to see it through. Half-done sleep training whereby you give up on an approach or chop-and-change approaches end up having worse outcomes in the long term. You need to be really consistent, and allow for about 3 weeks of consistency before you can expect to see significant changes in the long term.
As pinkcarpet alluded to, there might be other issues to solve here too. But they all all, without exception, be best solved by first having a baby that sleeps independently. You will also need to look at daytime sleep, to ensure baby is not getting over tired *which is very likely in your current situation) and also in the first year of weaning, diet plays a big part in sleep too - getting enough calories is important and is more difficult to manage when baby gets these from early solids and milk.