Tips for helping baby self settle

[Gardengnome82]

Hi all

I have a four MO who is currently bf to sleep. He wakes frequently on the night so I am trying to give him opportunities to self settle in the hope it will improve his sleep and we will all be a bit happier.
We have a good routine before naps and bedtime I think. At night it's bath, sleeping bag, book, feed and bed. It's a simpler routine for naps. I've recently introduced a comforter and moved the feed a little earlier to try to disassociate from sleep.

I've been trying to put him down like this for a couple of days only but he is showing no signs of self soothing and cries and cries. I pick him up after about six mins and feed to soothe him then put him down again only for him to begin crying. After about 20 mins he falls to sleep, worn out. It's torture listening to him cry and I wonder if he just isn't ready yet? Touch to sleep isn't working either. He is tired when I put him down (using wake windows) but is an alert baby and just seems confused and angry/upset to be put down

Any good tips or do I just need to give him time? Success stories would help give me hope!

A dummy is the best no-crying sleep tool that there is.

Pretty much every anything else you try will involve crying, apart of feeding to sleep. Its sucking that stops the crying.

Stop feeding him when you go back in. If you can don't even pick him up. Just stroke his back/tummy and a few soothing words until he calms down (not fall asleep) and then out you go. Repeat. And repeat. This may take some days or weeks but eventually they get it. And I wouldn't wait so long to go in - I never let my babies cry for more than a couple minutes. I think if you let him cry for too long he'll work himself up to such a state it will take that much longer to settle.
I did this from day one and both babies got themselves to sleep.

@Pipandmum

Stop feeding him when you go back in. If you can don't even pick him up. Just stroke his back/tummy and a few soothing words until he calms down (not fall asleep) and then out you go. Repeat. And repeat. This may take some days or weeks but eventually they get it. And I wouldn't wait so long to go in - I never let my babies cry for more than a couple minutes. I think if you let him cry for too long he'll work himself up to such a state it will take that much longer to settle. I did this from day one and both babies got themselves to sleep.

Thank you. I've tried doing the touch to calm but this doesn't stop his crying, he just continues. It's only being picked up and or fed that calms him. I did wonder if I was waiting too long though so I might try a shorter crying time. It's tough as he does fall asleep after crying for a few minutes

@BabySleepTeacherUK

A dummy is the best no-crying sleep tool that there is.

Pretty much every anything else you try will involve crying, apart of feeding to sleep. Its sucking that stops the crying.

Thank you. He won't take a dummy just spits it back out.

@BabySleepTeacherUK

A dummy is the best no-crying sleep tool that there is.

Pretty much every anything else you try will involve crying, apart of feeding to sleep. Its sucking that stops the crying.

Thank you. He won't take a dummy just spits it back out.

Honestly, far too young.
Even sleep experts don’t recommend suggested techniques until at least 6 months.
My son was still waking every 2 hours for a feed at this age.
I think you need to adjust your expectations and realise that a baby simply wants to be fed and be close to you.

And honestly, you’ve used the phase its torture when referencing hearing him cry.
Surely this goes against all your natural instincts? Just follow what you naturally want to do.